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Needing Mommy Support

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 9:44 AM
  • 8 Replies
I found out on the 26th I am pregnant with my 2nd child. I have not yet told my boyfriend. I'm having trouble even finding happiness about it all I can seem to do b is cry and when I'm not crying I want to cry. Mainly because I have a 2.5 year old daughter. Its been pretty much just Her and I her whole life. I met my boyfriend and he has 2 older boys 11 and 9. I keep looking at my daughter feeling heartbroken that it'll never be just her and I anymore and I don't want that. I used to think I wanted 3 or 4 kids now I'm terrified and feel terrible that I don't want to have another baby I'm not done spoiling my baby I have...I feel so sad hurt and confused
by on Dec. 31, 2014 at 9:44 AM
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abifasc
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 9:47 AM
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Giving your daughter a sibling is the best gift ever. Watching your two children together is one of the most incredible things life has to offer. Just because you have another baby doesn't mean your special time with her has to die.
NBVP1
by Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 9:49 AM
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I feel the same way sometimes. My kiddo is 10. It's been he and I for a decade now. I'm sad. I'm sad that another person will interfere with my time with him. I'm sad that he and I won't be able to just do whatever we want like we always have. It's a loss, of sorts.

But remember: babies are born every day and lots of them are born into families that already have kids. It works somehow. And think of this, too: this is someone who will be in your child's life forever. Someone for holidays and special occasions and such. You're giving your daughter more family and that is a good thing!
kaves
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:03 AM
1 mom liked this
Bringing another baby into the world can bring a lot of emotional challenges. I think you will find that you will have more then enough love for both your kids. I also think you will be able to find the time to spend with each of them individually. I have three kids now and watching them spend time together and play together I couldn't imagine them ever being happier if they only had me. It'll be an adjustment at first but I'm sure your daughter will love having a sibling. Good luck and hang in there!
Jsanchez125
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 11:47 AM
1 mom liked this
Believe it or not once the baby is here you will not even remember what is was like not having two babies. Also most kids when they find out they are having a sibling are pretty happy.
sweetktn
by Silver Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 1:53 PM
2 moms liked this

You can still spoil her and have special one on one days :) it's a big change and your emotions will be all over but I'm sure she will be happy to be a big sister. You are helping her have an experience of a life time by being a sibling and that is something very special that you can give her. 

LittleRed80
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2014 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I felt like that before I decided to have more children. I was afraid I wouldn't be loving her as much if I had another. The love you have for each child is different and in no way takes away from the older children. Plus, your first will always hold an extra special place.
I will be honest that I do sometimes feel nostalgic about the days when she was the only one, but it's similar to the way I feel about my other children now that they aren't babies anymore. You always miss that.
summerbear
by on Jan. 2, 2015 at 12:02 AM
2 moms liked this

My first was 8 years old when #2 came along. When I was pregnant I really didn't bond much with her. I was resenting her in some ways. We tried for years to get pregnant and I wanted another so bad. But, we gave up. Got rid of everything we bought to get ready for another baby and just resigned ourselves to only having one amazing and beautiful child. Life's funny sometimes.

I started to hate that this new baby was going to take time away from me and my daughter. I didn't want anything messing up our relationship or bond. But, once she was born, and I saw how my oldest was so much in love with her and excited to have a sister (that she named herself) my fears and resentment went away.

Having another child did not take anything away from what I had with my first. It only added to it and made things so much better than I ever thought was possible.

kzoboe
by on Jan. 2, 2015 at 12:22 AM

You are right when you say it will never be just you and your daughter after the baby is born.  So enjoy this special time of being a mom to just one baby--your daughter.  do some things to make memories (for you as much as for her).  I still remember stuff I did with oldest DS while I was pregnant with his brother.  And, as a PP said, you can still do one-on-one stuff with her (and it's a good idea; though there is always this other kiddo at the back of your mind, LOL!).

I also remember feeling sorry for my soon-to-be-born baby while I was pregnant.  I loved first DS so much, I thought,  " no way could I ever love another child as much"  but you know, when second DS was born, I did--and it in no way diminished anything I felt for older DS.  

Part of this could be hormones, too.  You will be OK!  congrats and hugs, mama!

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