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Miscarriage... LONG

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 9:58 AM
  • 34 Replies
Is it typical for family members to have really harsh comments when you miscarry?? I miscarried Wednesday morning, I was around 6 weeks pregnant and I was supposed to babysit my brother Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. My mom lives in me and my husband's other house (he gave up on fixing it), hasn't paid rent or even taxes in a year, but yet expects me to watch my brother (he's 6) 3-4 times a week when I have a 5 month old and 17 month old, and pay for all his food and whatever we do with him myself. Even when I had my second son, my mom was pissed that I wouldn't watch my little brother the first two months because of trying to adjust with a newborn. So flash forward to now and I didn't want to tell my mom last second I couldn't babysit for the day, so he came over and I did NOT realize that you cannot just simply get your baby cremated. Because the OB told me just to pass the baby at home, I had a state trooper here and the coroner, taking statements and pictures to make sure we weren't at fault. All the while my little brother is screaming he needs a drink, my husband is trying to make dinner while holding our oldest whose crying because he's hungry and I'm trying to nurse our 5 month old while being interviewed. Then the funeral home guy comes to pick up our baby and I'm bawling my eyes out while he leaves and there's my little brother (who had just finished his juice we gave him 10 mind ago) SLAMMING his cup on the table saying he needed another drink. So I told my mom I was not watching him the next two days because we had too much going on, her response was "is cremating the baby necessary?? Why didn't you just bury whatever you found in the backyard, that's what I did and I miscarried at 3 months" then she went on about how she's not able to find a babysitter and she then went on to call all my siblings and complain about how over dramatic i am. I'm just still so hurt and annoyed by her, my siblings weren't any better, they all called to ask if we had planned this baby and why we'd try for another baby so soon. In all reality we are just super fertile, we haven't messed up one time and we've been pregnant 5 times (this is our third miscarriage), I can't go on birth control (tried pills, shot and rings) I bleed the entire time I'm on them.
by on Jun. 17, 2017 at 9:58 AM
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Replies (1-10):
-Steph95-
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 10:11 AM
2 moms liked this
Oh my. I'm so sorry for everything that you're going through. I wouldn't watch him either. I am truly sorry your family has behaved that way. Try to get some rest and time with your hubby and little ones. Take care of yourself. It might be time for your mom to figure things out for herself.
DixonBabies
by Silver Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 9:23 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry.
luna321
by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2017 at 9:31 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry. I hope you do have supportive people around elsewhere. Family :/ if only we could pick em
Azure
by Group Admin on Jun. 17, 2017 at 10:33 PM
1 mom liked this

It can be, if you have people with tendencies towards assholism. I'm sorry for you loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

_ethansmommy
by Bronze Member on Jun. 18, 2017 at 12:04 AM
My sister told me that my unviable pregnancy was gods doing and his plan for me. I wasn't really pregnant anyway. Well, I am pregnant, my baby just stopped developing and never got its heart beating and I'm still waiting to pass the tissue!! I don't know about going as far as calling a coroner or deputies lol. I'm sorry you're going through this
Stevensmomma
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2017 at 8:07 AM
1 mom liked this
So sorry 😕
goddess99
by on Jun. 20, 2017 at 1:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so sorry!
FoxTroll
by on Jun. 20, 2017 at 1:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Family can say a lot of harsh things. I turned to my friends. They were the only ones who gave me the support I needed.

I'm sorry.

Sassym0m24
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2017 at 8:30 PM
1 mom liked this
Some people have this notion that your grief is only justified "at x point" or "after x".

Seems to be generational in my experience.
egyptian_mommy
by on Jun. 20, 2017 at 9:51 PM
1 mom liked this
That's terrible. I'm sorry for your loss.
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