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38 wks unbearable Bf mother

Posted by on Aug. 16, 2017 at 5:49 PM
  • 7 Replies
This whole pregnancy has gone pretty much ok for me this time around. The only downside is my bf's pesky mother! We have since decided on a name since we found out the sex (Jacob Allen JR. or JJ as the older girls call him). However, my bf's mom and stepdad keep referring to him as "Mickey". My s/o spoke up to say that we were not okay with that particular arrangement and offered to amend the middle name if they would stop with the above nickname. They agreed. But they have not stopped. Part of me feels disrespected while the other part keeps wondering if I am just being hormonal and blowing things out of proportion. And every time I turn around she is meddling in instances involving the baby. It has become so bothersome to me to the point where I feel almost smothered. I feel like this pregnancy isn't even mine. I might as well be a walking incubator. How can I convey my feelings without creating a rift?
by on Aug. 16, 2017 at 5:49 PM
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Replies (1-7):
modmommabear
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2017 at 8:03 PM
Just speak up.
browncoat
by Bronze Member on Aug. 16, 2017 at 8:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I think that pregnancy does tend to make people more sensitive. A child is a whole person who will have relationships with everyone, not just you. I do think it's a little silly to be so very upset over a nickname. He isn't a belonging, you can't dictate the way in which everyone in the world interacts with and relates to him. How is it hurting anyone to let his grandparents give him a nickname?

Maybe there's more backstory that you haven't shared (you've hinted at the fact that there is), but if your question is only about your response to the nickname "Mickey," then I would say yes, you are kind of hormonal and blowing things out of proportion. I can see it being annoying, but not really a big deal. My husband's grandmother didn't like our first child's name and told us she was going to call him by his middle name only. I honestly didn't care at all, she can call him whatever she wants (and she calls him by his first name now).

I do wonder if you are kind of 'letting' his parents have some say, though, maybe without realizing it, which is encouraging that behavior. You mentioned that you were willing to compromise with them on the name, which seems really odd to me. You get to choose his legal name, you don't need to barter with them over it.

butterflycircle
by Silver Member on Aug. 17, 2017 at 12:46 PM
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We pick names to avoid some nicknames too. This is your baby and if you don't want him called something they should respect that. You could try telling them "that's not his name" each time they use it. It might be something that goes away over time though. Once baby is here and everyone is calling him JJ or something. maybe they will quit.
BlackBird_Trppd
by Member on Aug. 17, 2017 at 1:51 PM
1 mom liked this
Where does Mickey come from? I guess I would be annoyed too...we picked out a name for our girl, Kara and everyone has been referring to her as Baby Kara so it definitely seems weird to me that your bfs family is not referring to the baby by the name you have chosen!!!! I would tell her to stop or you will not engage with her anymore and just tell you you need some breathing room as far as the meddlesome behavior goes. I have an easy time just shutting people out, not answering calls, basically isolating when I need space. Not sure if you are able to do that though....
-Steph95-
by Bronze Member on Aug. 17, 2017 at 3:44 PM

Yikes, that sucks! Where does the Mickey even come from?

We are naming our son Lincoln, but haven't told anyone for the fact that people are often so judgemental of names, and it really only matters if we love his name. They don't need to.

Just tell them "that's not his name" when they are calling him by somthing you don't appreciate. I don't know his family, but I hope it stops once he arrives. Good luck!

Azure
by Group Admin on Aug. 17, 2017 at 5:50 PM

I would change the name back to what it was originally and also correct them each and every time they say the name. I had to do that with my mom during one pregnancy.

big_red05
by Member on Aug. 17, 2017 at 6:06 PM
I think it's a little of both, they are being insensitive and you are maybe taking it too hard, maybe just have a heart to heart about why it bothers you? Or just let it go
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