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*UPDATE 2.0!!!* We finally told them & then got ignored

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2017 at 11:55 AM
  • 14 Replies
I've had 6 losses. 1 horrible MMC in 2016 and 5 chemicals all before 5 weeks.

We told my family and our friends because they are so supportive! We actually told them when I was 6 weeks pregnant so mot that far along. We knew we could encounter another loss but I had to share the news.

We didn't however inform my husbands family. Why? Because my very first loss that was the MMC in septermber of last year when we told them I was pregnant the minute we found out they tried pushing adoption on us 100%. Then when I had lost the baby they said it was gods plan and ill live. Blah blah. Basically nothing comforting.

So last night around 8pm my husband sent them a long text with the ultrasound photos. Telling them that they're getting a granddaughter in April and we wanted to wait until it was certain the baby was with us past x amount of time before we told them; because of how they were last time.

Well, no response. DH called them a few hours later to check in on how they were feeling after getting the news and after 2 rings was sent to voicemail.

I cant handle his parents sometimes.


*Update*- My husband finally got a text back from his father that had questions. How are we going to afford it. What if I cant work. How are we going to raise the baby. Umm....he responded. And out of the blue got a text this morning asking for him to call and even said he loved him. That is rarely said. Something is up his sleeve. We both sensed it.

*Update 2.0*- DH spoke with his father this morning for a good hour. He got a congratulations followes by its your baby and if you and Bri are happy then we are happy. Of course he wanted to make sure we really were busting our asses workinf and still in school and asked our plan which of course is still to move close to them and my family which is 2hrs away; first baby and I cant be that far from my mom. His mother is upset but his dad said shell get over it and come around. He even hinted to help us move which is very generous. I'm hoping his parents change how they are for the sake of their granddaughter.
by on Oct. 11, 2017 at 11:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
yeehawhoney123
by Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 12:23 PM
Miscarriages can be difficult.
What did your family say for support that was ideal vs. what your husband's family said?
Sparklingsparks
by Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 12:50 PM

I'm sorry, that's awful. 


mrsniebo
by Bronze Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 12:59 PM
I'm sorry for your losses and how your DH's parents are treating you. Hopefully things will change by the time the baby gets here. I would not want to bring my kids around such toxic people.
DixonBabies
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 1:10 PM
Wow, I'm sorry.
Luke8212013
by Silver Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 2:33 PM
I wouldn't reach out to them anymore.
I'm sorry.
kajira
by Emma on Oct. 11, 2017 at 3:06 PM

I'm sorry they acted like that :( 

BMead1695
by Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 3:57 PM

My familky was just there. Comforting and helping me cope through the grieving process. My mom would always reasure me that our then new angel baby will always be there up in heaven with my grandparents waiting for us. My dad would tell me that it wasn't my fault and how our baby was a blessing no matter what. Comforting words. Not tell me it was God's plan to give me a child then take it away. Not tell me to get over it. His parents were so cold.

Quoting yeehawhoney123: Miscarriages can be difficult. What did your family say for support that was ideal vs. what your husband's family said?


BMead1695
by Member on Oct. 11, 2017 at 3:58 PM

I'm hoping things change as well. I would hate for my child to only know my side of the family and her grandparents from my side and not her grandparents from dad's side. 

Quoting mrsniebo: I'm sorry for your losses and how your DH's parents are treating you. Hopefully things will change by the time the baby gets here. I would not want to bring my kids around such toxic people.


Azure
by Group Admin on Oct. 12, 2017 at 9:30 AM

I'm sorry they're acting like assholes. Sometimes people do. My family did. They don't even know about my last five losses-only my first one. And that's because of how they reacted to it. It was horrible.

Don't let them dampen your enthusiasm or dim your joy.


kajira
by Emma on Oct. 12, 2017 at 11:10 AM

Maybe it's best to just ignore them?

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