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Pregnancy Pregnancy

My baby's last name

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 9:19 AM
  • 11 Replies
Me and my bf live with each other and we have a great relationship and do plan on getting married one day however, I just found out that I am pregnant and I was wondering Should I give my child the fathers last name or mine?
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 9:19 AM
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Replies (1-10):
riotgrrl
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 11:00 AM
This is a very personal decision. It is totally normal to chose either last name or to give the baby both last names. Really it is only up to you and your baby's dad. How does he feel about it?
sprime
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 11:09 AM
That's a difficult one. I'm married, but never (yet) changed my name. We have one kid. We gave him my last name. I'm not sure yet what to name the second one when he comes.  We've just never had the funding to change my name.

As the woman before said, it is a very personal decision. In one case, if you end up breaking up, you may want kiddo to have your name, it's easier with daycare, school, doctor... But you may also want baby to be associated with the father.

Whatever you choose, don't forget that you can change it if you ever need to.
Fawn80
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 2:24 PM
You may need to take into account his and your upbringing, ancestry, religion, etc.
We had two children before we ever even thought about getting married.
HIS family was dead set that he had to "do the right thing" and marry  me. MY family said DONT get married just because of a child.
However, It is common in my family that the child has the father's last name.
(And God Forbid, the "elders" find out that the baby didn't get the fathers last name....What would they think?  Is it even his baby? ) PUH LEEEESE!

Above all, ask yourself important questions. If you have a great relationship and do have some plans of getting married or otherwise being together, get his side. How involved is he/will he be?  Will it be a huge blow to him if you tell him that you want the baby to have your last name?  Is he the type of guy that wants HIS child to be "HIS"? This is a decision you will need to make between the two of you. Yes, of course you can change the name down the road, but can you change his feelings?
SusieQAllen
by on Mar. 19, 2007 at 2:41 PM

Quoting sprime:

  We've just never had the funding to change my name.


i just went to the SS office and ordered a new card and that was that. i dont remember paying for a new card though
tommysgirl18
by on Mar. 20, 2007 at 1:15 AM
I agree with the other ladies.

Firstly, it is a personal decision between the mother and the father. I would think that if you guys sit down and discuss it, and since you mentioned that you guys plan to get married and become a family that way, that the baby should get his name. If he is going to stick around with you and be there for you when you deliver (and after you deliver) then you should put it on the birth certificate.

My SIL had a baby six years ago. Her and her boyfriend are not married, but because he didn't have a picture ID they wouldn't let him put his name on the birth certificate. So, she doesn't have his last name. But I have heard the opposite of that, where the dad was there, and the mom and him weren't married, the baby got his name.

So, after all that rambling, my suggestion would be to discuss it with your boyfriend and make the decision together.
Buddyboosmom
by on Mar. 20, 2007 at 1:18 AM
 My mom gave me my dad's last name, well that's the only thing I got from him. But asked her why and she told me that was the right thing to do...I was born in 78 and things are different. You need to do what you think is right by you and child ( congrats).

 Like the other moms posted you can always get a new card and it doesn't cost anything to get a new card.
mommacat
by on Mar. 20, 2007 at 12:07 PM
Okay I have a little different perspective on this so here goes. My mom and biological father  got divorced and my mom remarried by the time I was 10 months old. My dad went through all the paperwork and adopted me so my last name changed to his, he is on my birth certificate and everything. Now growing up I know my dad loves me and having him as my dad is the best thing I could have had growing up. My biological father was never around for my older brother and sister or anything but the fact that he signed the papers and gave me to my dad made me feel as though he didn't want me. He wanted my brother and sister, who are alot older than I am, but didn't want me. I wasn't worth having his name. Anyway you have to think about how this baby will feel in the future as to why they weren't good enough to have their dad's name. This is my take on it from my experience!!
littlebinky07
by on Mar. 21, 2007 at 8:38 PM

I am having the same problem except I know I want my baby to have his fathers last name BUT my family is totally against it... even tho we had are wedding planned for December but when I found out I was pregnant it was kind of a shocker and we decided to wait till next year to tie the knot...

texmexmom
by on Mar. 21, 2007 at 9:05 PM
something to think about in the state of tx  the dads name on the birth cert is the one that pays child support  if and until a paternity test is taken to prove otherwise.  In the worst  case scenario!! As a mom ALWAYS be prepared for your lil one  and the unexpexcted!!
rotc72002
by on Mar. 21, 2007 at 9:36 PM
i gave my daughter his last name since hes the dad & im engaged to him. but its really up to you
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