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Dealing with my mother...*VENT* Long...

Posted by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:33 PM
  • 13 Replies

My mom's a bit neurotic and a little bit of a control freak. When we found out we were pregnant she didn't talk to us for 3 weeks and then she suddenly was buying us our crib, whatever crib we wanted! So we finally picked out a crib and now she's saying she isn't buying it until after our son is born! On top of that, she even just said to me that she doesn't like the one we picked so she may just get one she likes better and bring it with her when she comes in March. To add insult to injury, she also said that my boyfriend can set it up when she gets here. We really wanted to have all our sons stuff set up BEFORE he's born incase we have to do some more adjusting in the room. That and I don't trust her to pick out a crib the will match the Cherry furniture my sister got and/or one that we like. The one we picked has to be ordered so I thought she'd just agree to ordering it and that would be the end of her not wanting to get it until after the fact. We really don't want to have to be worrying about rearranging the room (our son will be sharing with us but he'll also have his own area of the room) and putting together furniture right after our son comes home from the hospital! My boyfriend doesnt want to be assembling a crib because my mother put off buying it instead of spending time with his son, and I honestly don't want to have to tell my mother we don't like what she "Surprised" us with. I also know her and we'll hear it about the fact that he's sharing our room, even though she knows that, it'll just be another chance for her to bring up how "unprepared" (in her opinion) we are. Sorry so long, but any advice on how to non-confrontationally tell me mom we'd like th crib to be here and set up prior to our sons birth would be wonderful.

by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
stephiepattie
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:36 PM

*Bump*

Someone else has to have a difficult mother

aliceryannesmom
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:40 PM

I am so sorry you are having to deal with that! I don't know if I have any good advice, but I can sympathize because I have dealt with situations similar to this before.

Maybe you could say something along the lines of "we were really hoping to have our son's room set up so that there wasn't more work to be done when we come home from the hospital. We're all probably going to be really tired and would love to have everything ready and waiting for us. I realize you're not thrilled with our choice of crib, but we picked it for these reasons...blah blah blah...could we maybe compromise and split the cost with you?"

Something like that. Anyway, I'm sorry...that must be so difficult. I know how it is to deal with control-freak relatives, believe me! Right now my own mother is trying to convince me to change my doctor, hospital and everything (even though I'm delivering a week from today!!) just because the roads are a tad icy. :-P

lovemybabys1106
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:40 PM

I would just tell her flat out. If she dont like it then tell her to bug off and buy the crib you want and set it up yourself. But that just what I would do. My MIL bought our DDs crib and i hated it but did not say anything. This time i put my foot down and got a nice crib that Iwanted

Alli_Ann
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:42 PM

Hmmm... maybe you could tell her that you need to have the crib set up before the baby gets home from the hospital or else where will he sleep on his first night home? It seems like it would just be , logical, reasonable and practical to have all the linens washed and on the crib when he gets home. As for the style and color, tell her you need it to match what you already have!

Mothers are odd. My mother bought a ton of stuff for my first son at garage sales and was pissed that I refused to use a used car seat (with a base that had been RECALLED).

Good luck.

Alli Ann

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stephiepattie
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:50 PM

Thanks ladies. I just don't want to be hard on her cause I know the most part is that it's her first grandchild and she wants to be a part of everything...he'll be sleeping in his bassinet at first, but we also have 2 cats who we have to play the balloon game with to keep out of the crib. It seems so silly to have this whole fiasco over a crib! I feel bad saying anything to her cause I know she's just trying to help and be involved since she lives 8 hours away...if he had his own room I'd be less concerned than I am...I can just see her wanting him to have the crib of a king and getting something bigger than our bed! I just don't want to hurt her feelings, I know she means well.

bulldogb
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:51 PM

I sympathize! My mother is a crazy control freak too! I would advise buying the crib yourself if possible to limit the control she has over the situation.  I'm sorry you are having to deal with an unsupportive mom.  Good luck!

hot-mom117
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 8:55 PM

My mom is the same way. I would just say "thanks for the offer but we are just going to set things up our selves" that is what I told my mom when she started to bitch. That shut her up. GOOD LUCK!!!

stephiepattie
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 9:03 PM

So my boyfriend has said he will buy us the crib and when my mom shows up with another one that's her problem lol I think it might help if I encourage her to build him his own nursery in her house? I dont want to set up a crib right when I get home from the hospital but I also don't want to deal with my mother being mad at the world!

golther
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 9:11 PM

Why not just ask her to cut you guys a check for the crib so you can get it yourselves?

SunshineJJ7
by on Dec. 15, 2008 at 9:17 PM

Well your mom will just have to suck it up and get over it.  This is about your baby and your family...don't let her ruin this special moment.  I'm not having mother problems...but I am having MIL problems...so I symphathize.

Quoting stephiepattie:

So my boyfriend has said he will buy us the crib and when my mom shows up with another one that's her problem lol I think it might help if I encourage her to build him his own nursery in her house? I dont want to set up a crib right when I get home from the hospital but I also don't want to deal with my mother being mad at the world!


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