Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Not sure what to do... ANY ideas welcome!! (piog)

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 5:42 PM
  • 19 Replies

I'm not sure what to do. I lost my job and my only option has been welfare (please no bashing, this doesnt have much to do with my story) and I've been on and off bedrest due to pregnancy complications since July. I had a form from my dr saying that I can't work, and my caseworker entered that into the computer, Every 3 months there's a review, and when I went to my dr office, I saw a dr I had never seen before, and she didnt understand the whole situation and said she couldn't excuse me from work because I looked perfectly healthy (even seeing my medical records) So they put me into a work program - I guess its required if you receive assistance from the state, and I have to go 20 hours a week. Its not hard work, I can do it, so whatever... BUT the issue is that I have to take my daughter to daycare. I don't have my car anymore, soooo I take the bus, the bus I take in the morning and the afternoon are SO PACKED with high school kids that we have to stand up in the front of the bus for 30-40 mins, sometimes with nothing to even hold onto! I have to walk 4 blocks each way to her daycare, carrying her... and shes 25 lbs. (she doesnt walk yet) This is KILLING me, and I'm so sore, and keep having contractions from it. What do I do?! They won't excuse me from it bc of the dr note.. and Ive been having preterm labor. I'm just worried this could hurt my baby or make him come too soon!

And you know how your ob says no heavy lifting (esp if youre high risk) so they told me no lifting over 10 lbs, which I have to pick up my daughter, we live alone and theres no one else to do it... so they said as little as possible, so what can happen from carrying her all the time? Can it hurt the baby? Another thing, I dont have a coat that fits me anymore since my belly is HUUUGE (measuring 40 weeks already) so can the cold effect the baby? I'm sometimes outside for 30-40 mins with just a t shirt, long sleeve shirt, and sweatshirt (gloves hat boots jeans etc) but can that cold effect the baby?

It kinda feels like I'm on my own here, just thought maybe someone else would have some ideas that I don't because I'm hurting so bad -- I could barely walk before because of the pelvic pain and my right hip is numb... but now its even worse, and all my muscles, esp my back and arms are so sore :( Help!! Thanks!!

I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 13 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!


I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 5:42 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
sparklebug86
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 5:51 PM

hmmm....if you have pre-term labor why would she tell you that you can work? your butt should be in bed. I dont think she was qualified to make that call seeing as how she wasnt your dr. Have you tried to speak to your dr about this? Im against people milking the system when they can work but, it doesnt sound like you should be....to me anyways.

Wiifeytype1025
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 5:59 PM

I had the preterm labor after she signed the paper - shes a PA who worked *with* my ob and the reason they put me back on bedrest was after I had my gall bladder surgery I was having problems with my sugar and my blood pressure, both of which were dropping drastically and causing me to pass out. Also my pulse has been really high (going over 200 bpm) I havent passed out in almost 3 weeks, but last monday 1-12 I fell on the ice and went into the hosp and my contractions were 2-3 mins apart and it took them a good 8 hours to stop them, then a few hours later they come back so they had to give me some more shots, and put me on the pills ever 4 hours... I keep having contractions now but they are irregular. So on 1-15 I was in my dr office with a nst and they said they were irregular, then 1-19 i saw the same PA for some reason! I'll hopefully see someone different when i go on 2-3 but until then, do you think its hurting my baby? I'll just have to deal with the pain if I have to but I'm just worried its hurting the baby. :(

I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 13 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!


I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

adians_mama
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:05 PM

I dont think it can hurt the baby really, i think lifting can hurt you more then baby. and as for the cold. Your baby cant feel it. Its a constant 80 degrees inside you're belly unless you are literally freezing to death.

I cant believe the dr said for you to return to work. Something is not right. Since its another dr is it possible that she is "in" with the state and they are telling her to tell you to get back to work so they dont have to pay you? It happends all the time. Get another opinion if you can.

expecting girlin lovetoddler boy

bezark
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:06 PM

I would call the office and (politely) demand to speak to your regular doctor. Explain the situation (especially the issues with getting to and from work and daycare) and see if your doctor is willing to see you sooner and work with you on this.

christalo
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:24 PM

And use a stroller.  That way it is minimal lifting of the child.

Wiifeytype1025
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:36 PM

They don't shovel the sidewalks, which is ridiculous. I think I'd end up carrying it AND her most of the time. I think there's 1 or 1 1/2 blocks I could actually push it unless i was out on the street instead. I haaaate the winter. I think I might call and beg my dad to give me his old car. we'll see if that works.

Quoting christalo:

And use a stroller.  That way it is minimal lifting of the child.


I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 13 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!


I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

aphrodite7400
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:37 PM

i second the stroller idea...  also, some women who recieve assistance can also receive cab service... im not sure what ST you live in, but you might want to look into that.  its lower fare, maybe even free.  (for people who are disabled/elderly/benefits... etc..)

jenjobrien
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:40 PM

I applaud you for doing that!  Even tho its hard you get out there every day and act responsibly.  Good for you mama!  I hope things get a little easier in the future.  Good luck!

Wiifeytype1025
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:42 PM

Thanks for being supportive and not bashing, I beat myself up about it enough, I still can't believe my life went from how great it was to all these bad situations in such a short period of time. I just have to keep praying it will get better and busting my butt to make it happen.

I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 13 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!


I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

Wiifeytype1025
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 6:44 PM

Someone had told me that my insurance might cover the "lift" service here, which is a bus that picks you up and drops you off right at the door step, you call with a 24 hour notice and they come n get you and drop you off. I need to call my insurance and find out about that. Cuz that would be an option too, but I'm thinking it might just be medicare because Ive only ever seen handicapped or elderly on there. I might start by calling my caseworker in the welfare office and asking what options I have. I will talk to the daycare though tomorrow to see if they can pick her up and drop her off.

Quoting aphrodite7400:

i second the stroller idea...  also, some women who recieve assistance can also receive cab service... im not sure what ST you live in, but you might want to look into that.  its lower fare, maybe even free.  (for people who are disabled/elderly/benefits... etc..)


I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 13 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 32 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!


I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)