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Please any help would do!

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:22 PM
  • 24 Replies

ok so sorry this is gonna be longMy ex fiance (babys father) isnt in the picture anymore. we were planning a wedding and selling the house (that i lateer found out was still in his and his ex wifes name) i came across a bunch o overdue bills. he was in 50,000 of credit card debt. i didnt leave him for that. he never let me see any of my friends at all he would always make me feel awful when i wanted to go out with them. well one of my best friends died in a fatall car accident. so another strike. well i found out he had charged up 12000 on my credit card paying his own personal bills without me knowing. then i found out that his ex wife didnt cheat on him like he said. she left him bc he did the same thing he did to me. and when me and him were dating he wasnt even divorced yet. He has just lied about everything. he lied about his friend killing himself! there wasnt even any reason to lie! why would anyone lie about that? well there were many other things. but he was supposed to help me take care of the CC payments and help suport me during preg. and he would get to see his son. well he just stopped everything. communication,support,everything. and has been avoiding me. but then texted my mom saying he couldnt wait to hold his son! idk what this guy is thinking but he hasnt done anything for me except get me pregnant and cause stress! i want to know what i can put on the birth certificate under father. i dont want him to be able to just walk in whenever he feels like it. if he does wanna see his son i want to be sure and i think he should have an obstacle to overcome(i know that sounds bad). what can i put on there? i found out that my "donor" is on my birth certificate and he didnt want me and i wish his name wasnt on mine. so please any thing would help. and please no rude comments. i cant take anymore rude comments about this situation. i know its prob my fault. i fell for it. i know. Thanks

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ladyjones76
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:29 PM

NO ITS NOT YOUR FAULT AS WOMEN WE CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH...YOU LOVED HIM THATS WHY YOU PUT UP WITH SO MUCH...AND YOU JUST GOT TIRED AND FED UP CONTINUE TO TRY AND BE STRONG AND PRAY TO GOD DAILY HE WILL SEE YOU THROUGH THIS SITUATION STAY STRONG FOR THE BABY

melhayes
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 8:36 PM

Since you're not married, I don't believe that you have to put anything under father on the BC. I do hope things get better for you, you don't need the stress.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
krystaldawn_21
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:02 PM

You don't need to put him on the BC but if you want child support then I would.

Mrs.Simms
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:13 PM

yeah, like the woman above me said, in order to get child support he will have to be on the BC, but then he has legal rights to see his son. if you do not put him on the birth cert. then it will be really hard for him to get a court ordered paternity test done. and even if he does...if you plead your case, the judge might just give you legal sole custody and then he has no rights.

good luck sweety! this is NOT your fault! if i were in your shoes id be fighting for a restraining order against him and his name would NOT go on the BC! i wouldnt let him near my child with his bad influences!

Proud Mommy to be of Ozlo Robert Simms!

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sparklebug86
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:19 PM

Actually I would do some more research before putting his name on the BC. My real father was not on the BC and my mother was not married to him. Instead she put my brothers dad who she wasnt married to at the time and gave me my brothers dads last name. My dad fought her about paying child support since he wasnt on the BC but, the judge ordered them to get a blood test to verify who was my dad. Since my real dad matched me instead of my brothers dad, my real dad HAD to pay child support regardless if he was on the BC or not.

APlessy
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 9:37 PM

Thank you guys for your replies...and i dont want any child support. i honestly just want him out. im not asking any more of him bc he couldnt even provide support for me during a VERY hard time.  so i just want him out. Now my doctor has met my ex. he came with me to my first doc appt. The only thing he has done during pregnancy. So do i just put unknown? do i have to put something? would unknown be better than blank? im 31 weeks so i still have a little bit to go but im just trying to get everything together. Along with my nerve! cause there is no telling what could happen after he is born. i really dont want him to be able to randomly show up whenever he wants. Thats not the life i want. idk if anyone has been through this but what did you put? and will my doctor say anything if i put unknown?

youlookin4me
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 10:28 PM

You should take what responsibility is yours ,  Bad choices.  but don't let it stop your kid from having a father.    Just don't give the guy any money or credit cards,  don't let him spend nights or borrow anything.   Be the best mom you can and let your child have the best dad he can have .   You don't have to give your kid a last name that isn't yours.    Child support is different in all states,  If you get  public funds then you will have no say in support orders.  if you receive no medical cards,  food stamps or cash then it is up to you if you sue for support.

StaceysMom4706
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 10:33 PM

look into your states paternity laws

in many states - although not nebraska - an unmarried father (as in never having been married to the child's mother) has NO rights to his child. if there is a paternity test or if he signs the recognition of parentage, all that does is give him the right to go to court for visitation... it also gives u the right to go for child support.

good luck in whatever u decide to do!

Alexandria

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virgobaby1978
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 10:41 PM

No no one deserves that treatment. My mom left the father part emty. I know who my dad is now and I love him to death but our situations are different. I don't know if you can still do that or not. If you do he can request tests to prove he's the dad and so on. I hope everything gets worked out for you but the only thing I can suggest is tell him that if he isn't going to do what he should and is supposed to he won't be seeing the baby that includes child support.

 Come join Mommy's Playground. Where you can talk about anything important to you. http://www.cafemom.com/group/ourkids4life

cadlecr4
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 10:46 PM

If you are not married yo do not have to put anything down. In my state if ur not married the father has to sign a paper saying he's the father. The mom can't add the dad unless he gives concent. 

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