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What would you do in this situation? I need strength :(

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:47 PM
  • 16 Replies

My entire pregnancy I had my heart set on a VBAC. I found a doctor who is supportive (probably not as good as a midwife but I had to take what I could get) and she's worked really hard trying to get me what I want.I'm mostly just having problems with the stupid hospital.

Anyway, I had an ultrasound done at 38 weeks to get a weight check on the baby. He was measuring 9 lbs 6 oz, which can be off by 2 pounds up or down. So anyway I knew as soon as that got back to the hospital they weren't going to be happy. Needless to say I had an appt with my OB and the hospital is refusing to consent to any interventions done on me unless it's a c-section. What I mean by that is, since the baby is measuring big, my OB had said she would induce me at 40 weeks if I wanted, which can higher the risks for a VBAC but she said it was my choice and she would be comfortable with a gentle induction if I was. Anyway, so that's what the hospital is referring to. They basically told my doctor unless I come in nearly ready to push, they won't do anything for me except a c-section. It's all liability issues of course.

So stupid weak me, I actually agreed to a c-section and the date is Tuesday at 8 AM. I was ok with it for a couple days, because I still had time to go into labor and I really thought I had a good chance at doing so since I'm 3 cm dilated. But nope, I'm still not in labor. As Tuesday gets closer I'm really starting to regret agreeing. But I don't know if I have the strength to actually stand up and fight it. I guess my biggest fear is failure. What if I fight this and wind up going into labor and having a c-section anyway? I'll just feel so stupid. Everyone keeps telling me just to cancel the c-section but I really don't feel like it's that easy.....

What would you HONESTLY do if you were in my shoes?

Edit-Oh yea and another thing is that DH and my mom already took time off work for the c-section which obviously isn't the most important thing, but that's just another thing...

Lilypie 3rd Birthday TickerLilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:47 PM
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by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:51 PM

Why can't you try and birth vaginally...   IF you have a problem then there is your surgeon standing right there.

The chances are, you WILL WILL WILL be able to do this   ~provided you give yourself the chance.

Yes, you agreed, but if it was a mistake then do something before it is too late.   You can say no.

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma

When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:53 PM

Its your body. If you want to wait longer and see if you go into labor then wait. Even if you do end up needing a csection. I also don't think a hospital can refuse to help you. Thats what they are there for. You could always change hospitals if your doc delivers at any others even if it is farther away.

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:54 PM

i would go ahead with the section, but then again i've never really been fussed with whatever way our baby got here, just as long as he's healthy.

if i were you though, i'd weigh my feelings. at this point, i can see not having the energy to fight it, but then again, this is a momentous occasion in your life and no one should push you into anything that you don't want to do.

if you're ob is understanding, maybe you should just talk to her and see what her opinions are. (if you trust her enough) she may be able to tell you if this is a fight worth it, your odds on losing because of insurance issues or your odds on needing another section anyway, or to go for what you want and she'll back you up.

either way, best of luck and congratulations!!!

by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:56 PM

Fight it girl! If something happens in the end where the c-section is necessary so be it... At least you tried and exhausted all other options... That's what I did with my first just a month ago! I felt SO pressured from the doc and my nurses really stood up for me and they tried EVERYTHING and when my son's heartrate started to get lower and lower the stronger my contractions were, then they took him by c-section.. But I waited an extra week(40 week and 6 days)! And I didn't jump right in and do what was most convenient for everyone else... 

I hate their guesses on baby weight.. SO often they are wrong and the baby is smaller and things could have went differently!!


by on Jan. 25, 2009 at 11:57 PM

I've never been in your situation, but I would think that I would at least try to do the VBAC and if it didn't work out then have the c-section, so at least you can say you tried. I don't think you'll look stupid and I think you will be proud of yourself for at least trying.

Lilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker
by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 12:02 AM

I was denied a vbac as well b/c of CA state law.  I was disappointed at first, but I got use to the idea.  Well my second baby was 2 lbs larger then my first,so I was ok with it in the end.  I would definatly not get induced that would make your risk go WAY up.  If you do end up having a c/s just know that the recovery for the 2nd c/s is much faster then the first.  Good luck.

by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 12:18 AM

Thank you ladies. I appreciate the encouragement. I don't know why I feel like I can't stand up for myself all the sudden, I'm not a shy or soft spoken person at all. I think it's just getting so exhausting to fight this I just feel like giving up. It doesn't help that all this stress and pressure over this has made me feel really depressed lately..

Lilypie 3rd Birthday TickerLilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 12:29 AM

if you are having second thoughts, go with your gut and listen to your body. having a "big baby" does not mean you need a c-section.

i was weary about some decisions i made in the beginning of my pregnancy. when i decided to stand up for what i wanted and change my course of direction i was giddy. i knew i made the right decision for me and my baby and because of that i had a WONDERFUL birth experience.

listen to your heart. it is YOUR body and YOUR birth story. dont let anyone take that away from you.

by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 9:13 AM

Just wait till you are pretty far advanced in in your labor.  Be strong mama.  I know its hard, but I just had to deal with a situation like this.  They wanted to call CPS on me because I told them I would just leave, if they really needed my bed for the next patient.  They kept pushing for them to break my water.  I said no.  Gave in two hours later, at this point I was already a 10,Yeah I was excited about that.  They broke my water by hand, and baby came out right after a few pushes, Dr barely had a chance to put gloves on.  And left after he put in his good 5 minutes.  He was pushing for a c/s, since I had a chance of ruptering. BS.  What they don't tell you is that you are more likey to rupture if they induce and use pitocin.  They don't ever tell you that which is BS.  Talk to that baby mama and tell you him you want to have him naturally and he has to help you out.  My DD was 8 lb 5 oz.  I did only one cervical check, which I felt stupid for doing because had I known that's what they were doing I would have said no.  I had also said no to check baby's weight estimate by sono.  So yes you can refuse anything.  She came right on her due date. I just wished I would have stayed home another hour and half, to keep the fights at the hospital to a mininum. I don't believe there is such a thing as gentle induction.  How is that different from a regular induction?  I would have waited till 42 weeks if I needed to to keep from being induced.  I don't know how long its been between your pregnancies.  They had case management in my room. I could have cared less.  THey can all kiss my rear.  I felt like a number that they had to get off the assembly line.  Such BS I also had no epidural or other pain meds, no tearing, no episitomy.  The key is to wait as long as possible to avoid little interventions.  Pretty push where you get to the pushing stage or close to it. As regards to time off don't forget about FMLA

by on Jan. 26, 2009 at 9:16 AM

Call your obs office today and tell them you want her to strip your membranes and/or break your water. Labor at home as long as possible, and come in ready to push. They can't stop you!!!!! Those are "natural" techniques to try to get labor started, so I'd call and ask, it can't hurt and the worst they could tell you is no. Worth a shot, and good luck I hope you get wha tyou wanted!

I'm a 24 year old, *single* mom, to a 13 month old princess, and a prince on the way. I'm 33 or 36 weeks pregnant, I've had previa, abruption, gall bladder surgery, kidney stones, preterm labor and have been passing out, but this little boy is worth it all. I've been through postpartum depression, domestic violence, my parents divorce, losing my job & becoming poor, losing my car, and my license, and becoming a single mom... all in the last year and I'm still glad to be here!!

I *LOVE* my kids more than anything else on this planet!

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