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Birth plan.....? I have Options?

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:29 PM
  • 11 Replies

This is my first pregnancy, I am 27 weeks now and getting really nervous/ scared about birth. I have been trying to calm down by reading as much as I can but, I just cant read anything more about labor and delivery right now because it scares me more. I am NOT looking forward to labor and delivery but I am looking forward to having my little girl in my arms.  I am really concerned and worried about a lot of things involving my labor and delivery. I have been upset from day one when I found out that I do not get to meet the doctor delivering my baby and that a team of up to 16 different people could be assisting/ helping me in my delivery. I WANTED one or two hell even four I would have been ok with, but 16 different people im not ok with. I dont have a choice at this point, I have full benefits paid everything through kaiser and I cannot afford to pay to go to a different hospital or use a mid wife.

I have heard of "birth plans" but how exactly do you "make" one and do all the drs and nurses ect have to follow your requests? Exactly what kind of options do I have?

I am really upset that my mother will not be there, it will only be my fiancee - he is great but I know in a situation like that he will just let them do whatever and think its ok because they are a doctor and we are not.  Personally I dont want some person or multiple people I dont know shoving their whole hand up my crotch five million times while im trying to push out a baby. I dont want to feel violated, I ALSO DO NOT WANT TO HEAR "its normal, or you need to check your dignity at the door" or " you wont care you will just want the baby out"- IMO those are excuses that drs and nurses give to ok their behavior. I was talking to my fiancee last night about how I did not want the dr's to preform the tests ect before I got to hold my little girl and try to breastfeed, and his response to this was "but thats what they always do and they do it because they know best"

I know for a fact that I do not feel comfortable delivering at home, I do want to deliver in the hospital so that if something goes wrong it can be dealt with immediately, I do want to use pain meds and or epi because I DONT want to feel the pain - the pain is whats making me most scared.

Maybe some Advice would help me out, or even someone who has delivered at a kaiser hospital before that could tell me exactly what to expect from kaiser.




by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:29 PM
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by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:37 PM

It all depends on how badly you want these things that you'd like.    If you want things to be a certain way then, for example, you might need to look harder to see in another provider can work after all.

You will likely have a few things that aren't quite ideal in the hospital.   And you'll mostly be attended by strangers (nursing staff), anyway.

I know you said you're getting more scared~   but what is it, exactly?   Researching your options, delving into these fears can help you know you have made wise choices, you will be well-rounded, educated, and satisfied when labor arrives.

If you don't know your options, you don't have any.           ~Korte & Scaer

Mothers need to know that their care and their choices won't be compromised by birth politics.                                                                                            ~Jennifer Rosenberg

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:39 PM

Birth plan templates:

Homebirth at the Hospital
By Doula Giuditta Tornetta
Web Exclusive

Your question:

I'd love to have a natural homebirth, but I feel safer in the hospital. What do you suggest I do to create a homebirth environment at the hospital? Will a doula help me at the hospital?


Many people believe that doulas work with homebirths more then hospital births. Truth is 95 percent of the births I attend are at the hospital. In fact I'd say the majority of doulas work in hospitals, helping women have natural, home-like childbirth experiences.

There are five steps to help you realize your desire for a home-like, natural and painless childbirth at the hospital. I speak about a painless childbirth, because I have experienced it firsthand, and so have many of my clients, friends and fellow doulas. Here are the five steps.

1. Become willing to have a natural experience, no matter what. Willing to change what you believe and what you have being taught. For us to change our intention and the outcome of any of our endeavors, we need to start by becoming clear as to what we want.

Get a clear intention of the kind of birthing experience you want, regardless of what you have heard, what kind of birth your mother, sisters, etc. have had, and regardless of your age, size, heritage and so forth.

Before the Golden Gate Bridge was built there was an idea, a desire to build it and a willingness to do whatever needed to be done to make it happen. Reading books on natural childbirth and talking to women who have experienced natural childbirth is a good way to begin.

2. Trust that you can do it. Believing that not only you can do it, but that you deserve to have such an experience is a very important step toward success. If Columbus did not believe that he could circumnavigate the earth, he would not have begun his journey east to get west. Fake it till you make it if you have to. Tell yourself every day that you will have the birthing experience you desire.

Write it down, meditate on it, pray for it. Do whatever it takes to grow the self-confidence that you have all that it takes to have such an experience. Make sure you surround yourself with supportive people. Do not waste time listening to those who are quick to tell you that it is impossible, those who like you to have the same medicated experience they have had.

3. Make a decision that a natural childbirth, a homebirth-like experience is what you want and will have. So far the first two steps had to do with an inner dialogue. This step suggests that you actually no longer vacillate about your intention. Yes, you have chosen to have your child at the hospital because you feel more comfortable. You have made a good decision, now decide that you will have a home-like birth at the hospital you will choose. Make sure you choose a hospital that will allow you to have such an experience. Go and visit the hospitals that are covered by your insurance company, ask about each facility to other women, doulas, childcare educators and if you have any midwives in your town, ask them too.

4. Take action. Choose a care provider that will support your desire. Interview a few, make sure they have supported other women with the same experience you want. Ask the doctors for references, be polite, ask them if they are willing to give you the names of patients who have had a natural childbirth, so that you may talk to them and get some advice. We never ask our doctors for references, yet our references are always checked when we are to get a new job. Go to independent childbirth education classes, hire a doula (visit to find a certified doula in your area), find alternative ways to cope with labor. Look into hypnosis for a painless childbirth.

5. The fifth and final step comes much later. Because you have been successful obtaining a natural, home-like birth at the hospital, share your experience with other women and helped them fulfill their desires, and dreams. If you can do it, we can all do it. Share the joy. What you focus on expands!

Many of my clients will tell you they have experienced a natural and painless childbirth. When I say painless, please understand, I don't mean you will not feel anything.

What you will feel is a lot of pressure; you will feel the might of creation come through you. But pain is associated with something gone wrong. You break a leg, you feel pain. Something is not "right." Childbirth is a lot of hard work, and the sensations that accompany it are very strong, but there is nothing "wrong" with labor.

Labor is what happens when a baby comes into this world. Remember, until something goes wrong you are not a patient, you are a healthy birthing mother using the hospital facility to bring your child into this world. Labor comes one minute at the time, and if you focus on managing that one minute you will be able to conquer it.

Birth is sacred and if for some reason you have to be medicated, or even if you have to have a Cesarean birth, know that it does not make you less of a woman and you have done nothing wrong. We are blessed with modern technology, great medicine and amazing doctors who are standing by ready to help us in the moment of need. We embrace all births, and we take charge of our own, as we stay open to whatever happens.

Burger King and Birth: Have it Your Way!

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

~Barbara Katz Rothma

When you change the way you view birth, the way you birth will change. -Mongan

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:40 PM

Birth classes, (natural) birth videos, birth doula, and lots of (good) books-- reading, will make a huge difference!

Worry is the Work of Pregnancy

This is a concept I like to introduce in childbirth classes. I first came across the phrase “worry is the work of pregnancy” in my most favorite of birthing books, Birthing from Within by Pam England. I’ve noticed that women often feel like they shouldn’t have worries during pregnancy and that talking about their fears is somehow “dangerous” (like it will make the fear come true). Bringing fear out into the open and “looking at it” instead of keeping it tucked away and bothering you is actually one of the best ways to work with it. Another common concern is that your worries are “silly” or unfounded. It is okay to have worries, even “silly” ones! The strategy Pam suggest for exploring your worries is as follows:

Explore each worry with questions:

° What would you do if this worry /fear actually came true?

° What do you imagine your partner and/or birth attendant would do/say?

° What would it mean about you as a mother if this happened?

° How have you faced crises in the past?

° What, if anything, can you do to prepare for, or even prevent, what you are worrying about? What is keeping you from doing it?

° If there is nothing you can do to prevent it, how would you like to handle the situation?



Faith, Acceptance, Surrender ~Unknown

Fear can be overcome only by Faith. ~Dr. Grantly Dick-Read

Rain, after all is only rain; it is not bad weather. So also, pain is only pain; unless we resist it, then it becomes torment.   ~I Ching

If I don't know my options, I don't have any.  ~Diana Korte

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:50 PM

Quoting sarahg2887:

i am not having my baby at kaiser thats why i dont know.

uh-oh!   (LOL!)   That isn't a great sign!


  • We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong.                                                                      ~Harm
  • Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.                                                                       ~Einstein
  • To know the way ahead, ask those coming back.  ~Chinese proverb

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 2:53 PM

my birth plan was "i want drugs, i want my parents in the room with me (hubby was deployed), i want it videotaped, i idoNOT want an episotomy, etc"

when i first got to the hospitali was in early labour and idid not want anyone to seeme naked. when changing into the gown i asked for everyone to turn around...getting further into labour i didnt care who saw my whooo haaa (even a student sitting in...she asked and i said yes to it) just get that baby out....seriously! now after having 2 kids wheni have things like paps i say meh ive had kids, u want to hold a seminar with my vag why not!

do know that just because u have the birth plan does not mean that the labour and delivery will go as planned. i could not get drugs for either of the births because i progressed too quickly. its really not that bad.hurts yes but i think breaking my leg or arm would hurt worse. what helped me wasall these pple scaring me about how bad it was going to be and when i was in labour i was like ur kidding me? its not nearly as bad aswhat pple were making me believe....and i hurt over papercuts i have no pain tolerance. u will have pple feeling around ur crotch. but thats to check ur dialation. i hated that part too but it helped themknown when i was able topush to get  that baby out. with the breastfeeding, i had the lady actually hold my boob becausei needed allthe help i could get. u can probably say u dont want them touching u and they wont. but during the labour, their touching u to find things out and to help you...not to be weird.

and its true u dont see the dr much. its mostly nurses which is nice (aslong as they arent old mean hags!).the dr came in when to check for dialation and went off and the nurses took care of me and then he would come back once in a while to check again and see how i was doing and then came back before the delivery..ok the first dr was no where to be found when delivering my first it was a student doc, but my second one was there. they delivery u, make sure ur body is under control (bleeding, etc) and off they go.

its not as scary as it seems. once u get there u are just sooo excited to see the baby...and to feel soo much better.

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 3:37 PM

If you want as little pain as possible refuse Pitocin and other inducing drugs until you have a working epi.

     toddler girl       twin boysSummersmom360 ~~ Mom to Summer and expecting twin boys in April

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 3:37 PM

Quoting sarahg2887:

I work at Kaiser but I am not sure about their policies on labor and delivery, I work in urology. I can definately check for you through my coworkers Have you gone through the tour? 


i am not having my baby at kaiser thats why i dont know.

Why are you not having your baby at kasier? I am scheduled for the tour in March, I am due at the end of april

by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 3:39 PM

Quoting doulala:


Quoting sarahg2887:

i am not having my baby at kaiser thats why i dont know.

uh-oh!   (LOL!)   That isn't a great sign!





Not a good sign at all : (


I also wanted to thank you for all your other responses to my question, I will check into those links.


by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 3:47 PM

this is my birth plan and everything on here was OK'ed by my obgyn just today! your baby, your body, your decisions. just as long as its lawful.

Delivery at Exeter Hospital

Birth plan for Angelica Taillon and Joshua McDonald

This is a procedure to be followed if there are no life-threatening emergencies.



Do not offer drugs. I will request them if I feel the need.

Vaginal exams are to be done at my request or with my expressed consent only.

I expect that doctors and hospital staff will discuss any procedures they are considering with me first.

Freedom to move and walk around as I wish.

I will be bringing laboring music.

I will vocalize as desired during labor and birth WITHOUT comment and/or criticism from staff.

I DO NOT wish for observers such as interns, students, or unnecessary staff to be allowed in my room.

Access to bath for laboring.

Keep lights low for a relaxing atmosphere.

Keep talking to a minimum, and only encouraging words, please.

I would like to have a mirror available to watch the crowning of the baby.

Minimal interruptions; we will page the nurse if we feel the need.

Josh (New Dad) and Melani (Mother) are to be with me at all times.

I will not consent to artificially rupturing and/or stripping of the membranes. 

I will not consent to having anything administered to start contractions, or make them "progress." They will start when my body is ready. 

To preserve my privacy, EVERYONE should knock before entering my room.


I will push in the position of my choice. Do not offer stirrups. I would prefer to try "squatting"; possibly in the bed with the back raised all the way up and/or on my hands and knees.

No coached pushing (i.e- PUSH, PUSH, ONE MORE BIG PUSH). I will listen to my body and push if it tells me to.

Remind me to relax my perineum as the baby is crowning.

Remind me to touch the baby's head as he is crowning.

I do not consent to an episiotomy. I would like to preserve the perineum if possible. If you suspect severe tearing; we will discuss it then.

Baby is to be placed immediately on my abdomen.

Do not cut or clamp the cord until the placenta is delivered spontaneously and the cord has stopped pulsating. Josh will be cutting the cord. 

Do not tug on the cord or manually deliver the placenta.

If you feel pitocin is necessary, I will try nipple stimulation to release natural oxytocin first.


All newborn procedures are to be delayed until the baby has successfully breastfed on both sides.

All newborn procedures are to be discussed with Josh and I before they are administered.

I want to hold the baby while I deliver the placenta and while any tissue repairs are made.

If the baby absolutely MUST be taken from me to receive medical treatment, my boyfriend will accompany the baby at all times.

We do not consent to our baby having formula, or sugar water, period.

Baby is to be with me at all times during our stay at the hospital.

After the birth, I would prefer to be given a few moments of privacy to urinate on my own; I DO NOT want to be catheterized.

I would like to see the placenta after it is delivered.

Circumcision to be done before we leave the hospital.

I would like to take still photographs during labor and the birth.

I would like to make a video recording of labor and the birth.

Emergency C-Section:

I will not consent to a c-section for the following reasons: failure to progress, water broken for 24 hours.

If a c-section is recommended, I will discuss it in private with my birth team.

My birth team is to be present if possible.

For extremely emergent reasons, I want to do what is best for my baby.

I would prefer an epidural.

I want my uterus to be sutured in a double layer, not single.

Low transverse cut.

I want pain medications that are compatible with breastfeeding.

I want to breastfeed as soon as possible after the operation. If that is not an option due to the condition of the baby, I want a pump brought to me immediately.

Baby is to only receive breastmilk or colostrum.

Josh is to be with the baby at all times if possible.

Please refer to the previous section about the baby regarding our preferences for newborn procedures.


by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 3:57 PM

Pick up and read the book Creating your Birth plan by Marsden Wagner. It is a great book that has a lot of information in it. Skip those "birth plans" online where you can check the boxes and it auto generates one for you, they are rarely helpful or followed.

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My name is Alli, I am a mother to two children Brady and Addison.
I am a nurse, wife, midwifery student, aspiring doula, straight edge, breastfeeding, homebirthing, non vaccinating, liberal, pro choice, future home schooling, green living, army wife, atheist, level headed, feminist.

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