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c-sections, husbands, and closely spaced siblings (cross posted to CSS group)

Posted by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:11 PM
  • 17 Replies
Hopefully someone is on tonight and can help. I don't normally write things like this because I don't like sounding like a whiner. I'm not one of those moms who has a husband who is chauvanistic and expects me to do everything, BUT recently...I'm 33 weeks pregnant. I have a 2.5 year old, and a 20 month old at home. I'm having my c-section March 9th. Since I have high blood pressure, my fluid levels are extremely high (I don't have GD, but I am borderline), I can hardly move due to the babys size, can't sleep, peeing 24/7 *I counted last night and was up every hour on the hour*, and on top of caring for my kids - I can't deal with it anymore. I have to do all our packing since we're moving into our new home March 1st. Yay...not looking forward to that. With all that out of the way, my husband was informed and even told by my OB that he has to pick up my slack, take care of the kids when I'm home because I should be resting when he's home. He complained about picking up dinner, complained about me not getting things taken care of fast enough tonight, and most of all when I asked him to get the boys ready for bed tonight...he went into the bedroom locked himself in and went to sleep for the night. I am in so much pain from this pregnancy and he does not even care that this is taking such a huge toll on my mentality and body. With my past 2 sections I've only stayed 48 hours cause I heal well. This time around, I'm thinking about staying 3-4 days just so I can get a break from all the chaos...is this selfish? Please tell me I'm not alone in all this.
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:11 PM
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Replies (1-10):
trowasmommy515
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:15 PM

I don't think your selfish at all, my husband has been the same lately, i'm high risk and they want me to do as little as possible because tey don't want pre term labor, and they wouldn't have even been able to save the baby until tomorrow (24 weeks) and he complains that I don't do anything, i'm lazy. I only work 3 days a week, which is more than i should but i also do basically sole care for our 20 month old DS. So i think if you need those few extra days you def. deserve to take them, we do so much and it sucks that it isn't always appreciate it. I think you def. deserve a little break!


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mom23boys679
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:17 PM
Quoting trowasmommy515:

I don't think your selfish at all, my husband has been the same lately, i'm high risk and they want me to do as little as possible because tey don't want pre term labor, and they wouldn't have even been able to save the baby until tomorrow (24 weeks) and he complains that I don't do anything, i'm lazy. I only work 3 days a week, which is more than i should but i also do basically sole care for our 20 month old DS. So i think if you need those few extra days you def. deserve to take them, we do so much and it sucks that it isn't always appreciate it. I think you def. deserve a little break!


Thank you for this...it really makes me feel better to hear I'm not alone - not that it's a good thing someone else is going through it, but glad to hear I'm not alone. I hope you'll be okay though and hopefully the baby stays put for as long as possible. *HUGS* from one stressed mom to another!
jiara1
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:22 PM

It sounds like you have way too much going on!  Moving a few days before the new baby must be stress enough without having to take care of everything by yourself!  Did you ask him what his problem is?  Why doesn't he want to help out a little more?  (in a nicer way of course, LOL)

Hang in there and make sure you get all the rest you can...even if it means things get a little messy!

reelo
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:25 PM

Its not selfish, its common sense.  You are having major surgery, that is what a c-section is, if you need to stay a few extra days to allow yourself to heal that is what you need to do so you can be a better wife and mom when you get home you need to take care of yourself.

That and smack your husband upside his head.

 

   

mom23boys679
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:29 PM
Quoting jiara1:

It sounds like you have way too much going on!  Moving a few days before the new baby must be stress enough without having to take care of everything by yourself!  Did you ask him what his problem is?  Why doesn't he want to help out a little more?  (in a nicer way of course, LOL)

Hang in there and make sure you get all the rest you can...even if it means things get a little messy!


He's a mamas boy, that could be the biggest problem right there, but we can't blame it on that forever. I'm really forgiving, but we're talking about putting his unborns child life at risk (with me having high BP, and other issues). He's going to pay for this tomorrow, that's for sure. Thanks a bunch for the support - it means a lot.
mom23boys679
by on Jan. 27, 2009 at 11:31 PM
Quoting reelo:

Its not selfish, its common sense.  You are having major surgery, that is what a c-section is, if you need to stay a few extra days to allow yourself to heal that is what you need to do so you can be a better wife and mom when you get home you need to take care of yourself.

That and smack your husband upside his head.


He needs it, that's for sure. He won't go to work happy that's for sure since I'll be up waiting for him waiting for an explanation. Thanks for the support though - I think I will stay. I feel really guilty about being away from my boys that long (even though they come visit me) but I think it's time to take care of me.
colleen08
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 2:49 PM

Ok so you got pregnant with your 2nd like 1 month after delevering your 1st?  I am not bashing just curious cuz my lil girl is 8wks. tommorow and i wanna get pregnant like now, so i would luv to talk to someone with kids that close.  Anyway, your husband needs a wake up call.  And hell ya stay in the hospital and get some rest.  You will regret it when you get home.  You will be better to take care of your kids with some rest.  Good luck!!

mom23boys679
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 3:28 PM
Quoting colleen08:

Ok so you got pregnant with your 2nd like 1 month after delevering your 1st?  I am not bashing just curious cuz my lil girl is 8wks. tommorow and i wanna get pregnant like now, so i would luv to talk to someone with kids that close.  Anyway, your husband needs a wake up call.  And hell ya stay in the hospital and get some rest.  You will regret it when you get home.  You will be better to take care of your kids with some rest.  Good luck!!


Kinda. I had my son April 11, 2006. My second son was born May 25, 2007. So about 13 months and 2 weeks apart. My oldest was a couple days shy of his 5 month birthday when I got the positive HPT with my now 20 month old. Feel free to PM me anytime! :)
MommyIvy
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 3:33 PM

I plan on taking the full 4 days, just for a break.

I love my son Pictures, Images and PhotosEXPECTING A GIRL Pictures, Images and Photosproud c section mommy Pictures, Images and PhotosFormula feeding mom Pictures, Images and PhotosDue in March Pictures, Images and PhotosHappily Married rings Pictures, Images and Photos

babycowart
by on Jan. 28, 2009 at 3:36 PM

oh.....it sounds like you need a ((((((((hug))))))). that's alot to deal with all at once. i'd be hurt and pissed too. you should stay extra just to get the rest you need to heal. maybe if you need to stay extra your hubby will see what stress he's put on you, you can only be supermom 6 out of 7 days right?

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