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did/would you go through labour alone?

Posted by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 5:10 AM
  • 10 Replies
everytime i see or hear about a birth, it's a chick n her partner or mom or friend or whatev. has anyone gone to the hospital alone n not had a hand to hold? this whole pregnancy, i've been telling everyone i didn't wanna be bothered for birth n it's my delivery anyway. but everyone's still on my ass. some rude, some polite n desperate. like my cousins  n aunts wanna go cause they think it'll be funny. my mother in law wants to go n take pics cause she wants to be super involved w/ this baby. i understand n appreciate that, but i still don't want her or anyone else there. my bf isn't too concerned. i know if he goes he's just gonna use the experience to make fun of me anyways. (he's really immature like that) so while i was in the shower i came up w/ a plan at random. i have no car or money so i was stuck having to get a ride from someone n of course everyone has a cell phone n will call n tell the world. so i'm just not gonna tell anyone when i go into labour. i know that's kinda drastic, but no one seems to care about my wishes.i'm gonna call a cab to take me. i'll go over what's on my debit card, but i'll worry about that later. if my bf asks where i'm going, i'll sneak my hospital bag out n say a friend's picking me up. what do you think?

 My Ivy is due October 18 

by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 5:10 AM
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by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 6:27 AM
That might be a bit drastic... from what I read it sounds like you live with your boyfriend? I totally understand in not telling the extended family or friends, but he's the father, and has a right to know when his child is being born, especially if you two live together and plan on raising the baby together. Yes, it is your body, but it isn't just your baby, and being there for your child's birth is something that can only be done once (per child obviously). He may act immature now, but he could have his heart set on cutting the cord, or even holding her after she's born while you are being taken care of. Not only could you ruin the relationship between the two of you, but you're forcing the father-daughter relationship off on the wrong foot.

If he blabs, and people show up, you can tell the nurses to keep everyone out but him. You can send him out to the waiting room too and call him back, but he should at least have the option of being there to support you and seeing his baby born. The nurses battle unwanted visitors everyday, they are good at it, so let them handle anyone who shows up.

Aunts and cousins can be told that if they want to see something funny, go to the movies or the circus. And the MIL has this baby's entire life span to take pictures and be involved. She can handle waiting an extra day or two...

Hopefully I didn't offend you, because I certainly didn't mean to. Good luck in your decision!

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by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 9:46 AM
I know how you feel but would your rather have fam. trying to comfort you?? or some nurse?? cause either way they will try..I know when I had my first I thought I wanted everyone there but if they even looked at me I would freak out and oh forget them trying to hold me hand and I agree you need to tell the dad when you go in labor that's not right not too. That way if you do want him there you can have him there and like the person said before me the nurses won't let anyone in your room with out your permission but at least if people are there then you have the option to change your mind and let them in and I think it's great your mil wants to take pics I have I think one hospital pic cause no one took pics damn people but it's your birth and your choice  

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by Bronze Member on Sep. 2, 2007 at 10:28 AM
That sounds like a little too much to me. You're going to want a friend face in the hospital room with you, and the nurses don't cut it. You really should have your boyfriend there. Sure you may think that he'll make fun of you for it afterwards, but once he gets caught in the moment and gets to see his child born, he'll forget about making fun of you. But, it's your choice and you do what you feel is comfortable

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by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 10:36 AM
When I had my son Elijah last december, my mom didn't believe that my water broke so she dropped me off at the er and told me to call her if anything was happening.. Well I was admited and sent up to the delivery room, this was about 4 am in the morning.  Well I labored pretty much by myself til my mom got there and that was close to 10 am, but the sad thing is I had to get my epirdural by myself, I was really scared and i didn't want to go thru it alone, but the nurse I actually knew so she stayed with me the whole time as a support/nurse person..  And hes father decided to call after I had my epidural was an ass really cause he was in ft collins colorado so he missed teh whole thing, long story on that.  But if i had to, iw ould do it alone, this is my 5th pregnancy and will be my fifth delivery.  Its hard and lonely to do it alone, but if its my only choice then i would do it.  good luck if you need to talk i am only a msg away.  laters.
by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 10:53 AM
Try to find a doula in your area. They will be ultra-supportive for you, and will respect all of your if you want to be alone for a bit, they'll leave, but I guarantee you'll like having someone with you. As immature as your BF may be- he is the father, and deserves to know and choose whether or not he wants to be there. If he makes fun of you, I would say kick him out, but honestly, I don't think any decent human being would make fun of a woman in labor- he has know idea what he's in for- he'll understand that it is no laughing matter when it happens. It may help to 'grow up a bit' (if he's so immature) when he sees his baby emerging from you...that's a moment that no father should miss! i don't know what kind of a relationship you have with your MIL, but mine was present during the birth- she actually delivered the baby (she is a midwife from PA) but she flew out here to deliver Sofia (her first grandchild to her only child). It was very special. I'm so glad she was a part of it. However, we are very close, and it did not bother me having her there. I can totally understand how that would be weird for most girls to have their MIL's in with them! Good Luck!
by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 11:15 AM
I've had two kids and I know that I couldn't have done it by myself. The first time I was too scared, but the second time I was going to because my ex didn't want to be in the room, but when the moment came I asked him to stay. I couldn't imagine being alone.

by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 11:52 AM
Well it is your boyfriend he does have the right to know when you are going into labor.....but have your bf go with you to the hospitcal...and if you really don't wan't him in the room have him wait in the waiting area I guess......and you can still go through it alone if that is what you really wan't....good luck
by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 12:23 PM
I understand why you would not want all of those people there.  As far as the father goes I think it should be discussed between the two of you just to see how he feels about it.  If in the end you find yourself in labor and you honestly do not want anyone in there with you there is an alternative you have not considered.  Once you are at the hospital you can tell the nurses who are your team in the labor room that you do not want anyone in there with you.  They will ask if you are sure, but if you stand firm they will remove them from the room and escort them to the waiting room.  Just remember that when the time comes and the pains are hitting and everyone except you is wearing gowns, masks, gloves, you may find you want a comforting hand to hold on to.  Who you want is up to you.  I wish you the best with your birthing experience it is definately something to be cherished and remembered.

by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 7:16 PM

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by on Sep. 2, 2007 at 7:24 PM
Well, I'll tell you what. I went through 12 hours of labor with my daughter and no one showed up until the afterbirth... This child.. I WILL NOT do it alone. It was so sad that no one could witness the amazing birth of an angel... Have someone there.. your mom.. friend.. grandma.. someone. You'll regret it if you don't.
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