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Please don't hate me-help me..

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 8:29 AM
  • 11 Replies

It seems like everyone is always so happy to be pregnant. I was too, with my first. But I wasn't sure I wanted to have another (I love being a mommy,but I was not positive about having another). Now I'm pregnant, and I'm so sad! Even though I thought maybe someday, and my husband is very happy, I am not. I don't want to be giving bad feelings toward this baby-but I can't stop crying, I'm even mad at times. How can I change my feelings ? Please, if you have any advice...


by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 8:29 AM
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by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 8:41 AM

I felt that way with my second. I wasn't relationship sucked. So many times during my pregnancy i wished that i wasn't pregnant at all and even in the early months i made an appointment to abort. I didn't follow thru with it but i never welcomed the idea of having him. I would cry and wonder "what am i doing"  Well, when he was born i began to love him. It was hard at first and he was soo collicky for the first year. But he is 6 years old and such a mama's boy...he's sweet and sensitive and easy going...i could not imagine life without him.

you're not horrible for feeling the way that you do... it might help just to have someone to talk to and just letting out your fears to someone. Just because you're physically pregnant doesn't mean that you are emotionally ready but it also doesn't mean that you won't love your child when he/she comes or even to grow and love your pregnancy.   It's good to be honest with yourself about your feelings because then you can move foreward to deal with it and eventually you'll find peace.

you can PM me if you want. :)


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by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 8:45 AM

You can't CHANGE how you feel, just change your perspective.  Maybe try looking through some things from when your previous kids were babies.  Start reflecting on the joy of a new baby and how happy your kids will be with a new little brother or sister.


I am a "I don't summarize my parenting style in a paragraph because it's none of your business" mom of 3.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 9:08 AM

If you're feeling sad because of it try to think of different things that are positive and happy thoughts to the situation such as how cute he/she will be when they get here, what its going to be like to hold he/she for the first time, reaching the milestones and teaching your new child, the fact that you're giving life to a child..just think about some positive things don't be so sad.  Also remember that the baby is going to be a little piece of you!  I hope some of this helps you!

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 9:15 AM

I cried when I found out I was pregnant with this little one too.  We had agreed that we were done with our one boy and one girl, my husband had a triple bypass last year at 29 years old and we decided that because he may not be around 20 more years, we were for sure done..  oops.  I couldn't be more excited now, but it took me a while to be okay with it.  I think that second ultrasound won my heart.  Keep your chin up, it will all work out and I believe everything happens for a reason.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 9:28 AM
My sister was the same way with her last baby. You cant help or change how you feel, but your feelings will change. For my sister, it didn't happen until after the baby was born. Hopefully it will be sooner for you.


by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 9:45 AM

I felt this way with my third. I got pregnant when my DD was only six months old, and just physically did not feel up to another pregnancy right then and I was in a horrible place with my partner and could see the end coming. Overall I was not very thrilled about being pregnant and cried a lot and felt horribly guilty for not being happy about it.

The good news is that you WILL love this baby as much as you love your other child, as soon as you hold it in your arms for the first time if not sooner. I can't imagine life without my little guy. What you are feeling is normal for an unexpected pregnancy under not the best circumstances, try not to feel guilty about it because that will just make you feel worse about the whole situation. Give yourself permission to feel your emotions to process them and get through them. Hang in there mama, you'll feel better about this as things progress.

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:01 AM

I felt like that too.  I even wanted to divorce my husband and move back to my home town.  After I heard the heart beat for the second time it was like a light switch flipped and I am so excited.  I find out the sex next week and cannot wait!!!

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:05 AM

Don't feel bad I was not happy at all about my second either:( but as time progressed i grew to love the little baby girl growing in my tummy and I couldn't love her more now.  She is actually the reason i wanted to have more kids cause after my first i didn't think i wanted any more and after i had my second i knew i wanted more. She was such a good baby and just melted my heart.  She is three now and such a blessing and joy to my life and couldn't imagine not having her here!! Good luck mamma things will get better!!

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 10:09 AM

Try to express yourself and get your emotions out, my last pregnancy even though I was beyond happy to be pregnant I had a lot of depression during the pregnancy.....journaling was a life saver. I started a journal and wrote to my baby every chance I got. 

He's my star....and I'm his sky....

by on Apr. 8, 2009 at 1:21 PM

Thank you all sooo much for your kind words of encouragement! I feel better knowing I'm not a monster and it happens to others.


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