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What would you do? A little off topic but not much.... Need Advice.

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 9:40 AM
  • 9 Replies

I dont really know how to put this so I will just spell it out like this.  I am 34 Weeks Pregnant . The Father and I have been together for almost 3 years, this is our 2nd child together.  So here is the Problem. HE CANT STOP TALKING TO OTHER WOMEN!!!!!!! Last week I suspected he was talking to this chick named Heather on Myspace but I did not CONFIRM it till Yesterday. Now I Refuse to talk to him until he shows me his online phone bill.  This is not the 1st time this has happened and he has been caught. THIS IS THE 5th and every other time he has gotten out of not showing me the phone bill so I am not letting up this time not am I giving it up. I just want out. He can go Talk to all the chicks he wants if that is what he feels he needs BUT I wont be in the picture. SO after I catch him and he refuses to show me his phone bill he says he called her last week when I first brought it up to tell her he was deleting her from his friends list and he didnt want cause drama between his "chick ( me)" and him. SO WHEN DO CALL SOMEONE YOU DONT TALK TO TO TELL THEM YOUR DELETING THEM FROM YOUR FRIENDS LIST???????? AND WHY DO YOU HAVE HER NUMBER IN THE FIRST PLACE???

Just for Arguments sake I have her number too he "HIDE IT" in his Contacts under Her Initals "HD". Not  only is he calling he is Emailing her and Txting her. I know he has not Physically done anything because she lives in Texas and We Live in San Diego. What is really funny is on HER profile it says "do ot contact me if you are married or in a relationship" and his Clearly says "in a relationshsip" so what Smooth ass Comments did he make to get her to talk to him??? I AM SO PISSED RIGHT NOW. 

I called her Yesterday and When she asked who it was I told her my name and she told me I had the wrong number so she Obviously knows about me.  I am Determined to get this Phone bill and if I dont he can stay home and watch our son While I Deleiver the baby and i will move all the kids and my happy ass back up to Seattle while taking him For Child support. I do not want to be in a relationship where There is no Trust.

I dont know what I am looking for her, I guess I just needed to vent.

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 9:40 AM
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Replies (1-9):
LuckyClown
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 9:49 AM

I am sorry he sucks dear... but I am glad to see that you have a good head on your shoulders and aren't afraid to handle your business without him... too many women are so dependent these days they will put up with anything just to keep him. (it is something I understand on a certain level, but it still irks me because these guys KNOW they can get away with it... grrrr)

Caidens_mommy
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 9:50 AM

I live in Texas do you want me to go kick her ass for you?! HaHa

iluvmommyhood58
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 9:50 AM
Hmm. I can understand how this would bother you, if all he is doing is having friendly conversation with no ill intention, if you have trust issues. Is he hiding it because he really has the intent to cheat or is he hiding it because he knows you would be upset if he were just talking to someone as friends but feels it's silly of you to not trust him. Do you guys have a history of mistrust? Does he have a history of behaving inappropriately or have you just been this controlling of who he talks to from the beginning? My husband has a few female friends, most of them he has had since high school, yet I consider him to be a trustworthy person because he has demonstrated such in other ways too. I don't have a problem with him talking to other women. Hanging out with other women without me is another story... You don't want to be in a relationship with trust issues but it sounds to me like you have trust issues in your relationship regardless if you can decide for him who he talks to. The trust issue is still there whether or not he stops talking to other people... You both need to be willing to work through that.
Savvychick
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 10:25 AM

When he talks to these other women, He Leads them on with Sexy conversatoins, get them to send him Naked Pics, he is not Innocent. he usually tells them that out relationship in "on the rocks", that is how he lears them in.   If it were just Friends I wouldnt have a problem with it. he has grils from HS that call occasionally and he tells me about them but the Girls he meets on myspace are a totally different Story.

Quoting iluvmommyhood58:

Hmm. I can understand how this would bother you, if all he is doing is having friendly conversation with no ill intention, if you have trust issues. Is he hiding it because he really has the intent to cheat or is he hiding it because he knows you would be upset if he were just talking to someone as friends but feels it's silly of you to not trust him. Do you guys have a history of mistrust? Does he have a history of behaving inappropriately or have you just been this controlling of who he talks to from the beginning? My husband has a few female friends, most of them he has had since high school, yet I consider him to be a trustworthy person because he has demonstrated such in other ways too. I don't have a problem with him talking to other women. Hanging out with other women without me is another story... You don't want to be in a relationship with trust issues but it sounds to me like you have trust issues in your relationship regardless if you can decide for him who he talks to. The trust issue is still there whether or not he stops talking to other people... You both need to be willing to work through that.


Mish2575
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 10:35 AM

where this is not a physical cheating issue maybe you can work it out?  Maybe councilling?  IDK.

Good luck.

hotmoma2006
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 11:02 AM

Some women are just nasty and have no life. As for him dump him. This is your 5th time and you already have 2 children by him and he isn't stopping don't think he will either. He needs you to step up and show him your not gonna be run over and stand up for your self. I wish you the best of luck and im sorry your going through this. Its one thing to cheat or what not and regret it never do it again but this man is doing it over and over. Maybe he has some type of addiction

Savvychick
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:30 PM

YES PLEASE!!!!

Quoting Caidens_mommy:

I live in Texas do you want me to go kick her ass for you?! HaHa


Mom2Jack04
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:40 PM

I know it's easy to say "dump his ass" when we aren't in the same position.  I stayed in a lifeless marriage for years, my husband cheated on me once, and he spent WAY too much time online talking with women.  He was on several message boards for married people cheating with each other and such....

we went to counseling and she eventually told him that he was a sex and porn addict and needed individual conseling as well, he said "Everyone is ganging up on me" walked out and refused to go any longer. 

I divorced him last year and it was the BEST decision I made for me and our son.  We are much happier now that Jackson doesn't see his parents argueing everyday and miserable.  We had to live with my parents for a few years but I'm re-married to a wonderful man who treats Jackson like his own.....he actualy plays with him instead of seeing him as a burden like my ex-husband did. 

It's hard to make the decision to leave a relationship.  We all think the dreaded "It's better than being alone" but we can never find better if we settle for what we know isn't working the way we wanted it too.  It takes courage to leave and move on and go it alone for awhile, but in the end it's worth it, for you, for your children leave when you can. 

This man sounds very much like my ex, who still can't grow up.  If he isn't commited to you and only you now he never will be.  And that's not fair to you and the kids!

Savvychick
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:51 PM

Funny you mention that. He Loves to look at Porn also.  I am not Affraid to walk away, I just have to get everything in Order finacially before I do it. 

Quoting Mom2Jack04:

I know it's easy to say "dump his ass" when we aren't in the same position.  I stayed in a lifeless marriage for years, my husband cheated on me once, and he spent WAY too much time online talking with women.  He was on several message boards for married people cheating with each other and such....

we went to counseling and she eventually told him that he was a sex and porn addict and needed individual conseling as well, he said "Everyone is ganging up on me" walked out and refused to go any longer. 

I divorced him last year and it was the BEST decision I made for me and our son.  We are much happier now that Jackson doesn't see his parents argueing everyday and miserable.  We had to live with my parents for a few years but I'm re-married to a wonderful man who treats Jackson like his own.....he actualy plays with him instead of seeing him as a burden like my ex-husband did. 

It's hard to make the decision to leave a relationship.  We all think the dreaded "It's better than being alone" but we can never find better if we settle for what we know isn't working the way we wanted it too.  It takes courage to leave and move on and go it alone for awhile, but in the end it's worth it, for you, for your children leave when you can. 

This man sounds very much like my ex, who still can't grow up.  If he isn't commited to you and only you now he never will be.  And that's not fair to you and the kids!


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