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this is so confusing.

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:06 PM
  • 6 Replies

I recently found out im pregnant with my second child. Which under " normal" circumstances would be very excited . however. Im 20 years old. I live with my dad and my children have two different dads. as of right now im lost and confused. The father of this one and i had a plan. We were going to live together as roomates since we cant stand to be in a relationship but we are having a kid. That was untill we told his parents. I feel like he has No opinion for himself. First he was excited now he wont even talk to me. I dont wanna do this by myself again but i dont know if i could do adoption either. I wish i knew of some way to get through to him without him thinkin im pushy or being a bi;tch because thats not what i want. any ideas?

by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:06 PM
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Replies (1-6):
funlovinmama82
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:46 PM

Sounds like he may be scared of the responsibility.  I had the same problem with my sons dad.  I was 19 and he was 21 when we had him, we werent in a relationship, and he only saw him 3 times in the first year or so.  It took him until my son was 3 to come around and then it wasnt a complete turnaround.  He takes him every weekend now, but he is trying harder because he has my husband to compete with, and he has a new girlfriend.  He may or may not come around honey, I am sorry you have to do this alone, but you will find that once you hold that baby, you will love it so much that you will have the strength to make it work.  No matter what happens just remember that your kids come first.  If he isn't ready, then make him pay child support and let him go for now.  Sorry that is so blunt and probably not what you wanted to hear, but for me that is what worked eventually.

libarachi88
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 12:58 PM

i told him he could leave, he said he wasnt going to do that. he changes his mind every day about what he wants. its the most confusing thing ever. I dont know how to get through to him. When night hell lay next to me and hold my belly and the next hes freaking yelling at me. it doesnt make any sense.

want1more2010
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 1:34 PM

Aw, I'm sorry hun.  I agree with the previous poster... I had my first at 20 and we got married...went on to have twins a few years last just to get divorced after only 5 years of marriage.  I basically forced him into that life and he fought me all the way. 

My sister had her 1st with a guy she was just hooking up with.  She tried like crazy to make something work.  In the end, he's a bad and uninvolved father.  She would of been better off just dealing on her own.  Instead she is dealing with silly court battle over stuff he has no interest in.

I know that is not what you want to hear, but your better off deciding for him (to go that is) than to let him make this pregnancy bad for you. Your kids will be better off for it and life does get better and easier.  I have 3 children that I can support w/out any help.  I have since gotten remarried and we are expecting our first together.

GL

libarachi88
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 1:40 PM

I dont even know how to support them. With the economy i cant find a job for shit. Im going to school in hopes i find  a better job. i want them to have a good life.

nc1234
by on Jun. 9, 2009 at 3:09 PM

I don't know where you live but there is tons of help for mothers who are going to school and have young or about to have young children look into it they will help you with an apartment childcare, and sometimes even school.  This is not welfare it's a completely different program.  You can do it I live in NYS and here its called the moms program.  Good luck girl and stay strong you can do this.

want1more2010
by on Jun. 10, 2009 at 9:26 AM


Quoting libarachi88:

I dont even know how to support them. With the economy i cant find a job for shit. Im going to school in hopes i find  a better job. i want them to have a good life.

I think that you will do fine.  Its scarey in the beginning and a lot of us have been there.  But in the long run, you come out stronger and your children are proud.  My 3 and I have been on our own for the last 7 years.  I've worked bad jobs and great jobs... It gets easier, kids age, go to school, have friends. 

Good for you going to school!! I agree with the previous poster that there are a lot of programs in each state to help young mothers find a home and pay for school.  I'd look into your state website for resources. 

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