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i feel guilty im so unattached!

Posted by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:28 AM
  • 11 Replies

this is my second baby and I'm 11 weeks today. i have been so sick with morning sickness and so tired.  with my son my pregnancy was so easy. i had a miscarriage a few months before i got pregnant this time. and i really tried not to get to excited about this pregnancy just in case. well i guess it worked because now I'm not attached at all and i feel guilty. I'm so sick all the time all i think about is WHAT HAVE I DONE! we had been trying to get pregnant for a year and now it's finely here and I'm having a hard time. i haven't even told many people I'm pregnant it's like I'm embarrassed. what is wrong with me. anyone else have weird feelings? where the heck is this coming from?

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:28 AM
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by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:38 AM

Hey do not feel guilty .  Let the pregnancy just move on .  Once you feel that first flutter you will start to feel better.  Just keep in mind that you were and are protecting your heart .  I went through the same thing .  Be attentive because it can be a form of depression .  Also remember all pregnancies are different . 

I am 12 weeks and I am so depressed with this pregnancy and also the fact that it is twins. It seems as though I am doing this on my own .  The dad is so unattached it hurts me .  All I do is cry myself to sleep and wonder all day .  Like I have been saying I am doing this on my own ! But, it hurts !shrugging

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:50 AM

I had a hard time wiit my second pregnancy too. I was pretty run down and exausted and the morning sickness....Ugh.... So really with all that going on it didn't seem like I was very attached to this baby at all... not like my first, I had no issues that time... it was perfect.

Though I have never experienced a loss, I could only imagine how hard that would be and then getting pregnant again and not wanting to get attached only to have another loss.

I wanted to find out the sex of our baby ,what with having a boy the first time and REALLY wanting a girl.... I was an only girl growing up. To have my own daughter was my dream! Well we found out that it was going to be a girl and I was so happy. but something weird happend at the birth of our daughter. I had no emotion what so ever. with my first I cryied. I figured b/c I have always wanted a girl that I would be bauling my eye's out. I felt so detached from everything.

things got better as I had decided to BF my DD. Also a week and a 1/2 later she went back into the hospital for and RSV. That only brought us closer.

I believe that things will get better for you the farther along you get in your pregnancy, And I'm sure once you finnally hold that little baby girl/boy in your arms you will love that little person with all your heart.

Good luck

Wife of 4 years to Daniel
Mother to Kurtis 3/13/07 & Katrena 3/04/09
EBFing & Cloth Diapering Mama

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 11:55 AM

How can you feel excited when your hugging the toilet all the time?
I felt that way when I was pregnant with my first. I hated being pregnant for the first 6 months because I was so sick all the time...well never threw up but was super nauseas all the time and I hated it! Everyone said I should be happy, but I asked how can I be happy about something that makes me want to puke all the time?
After a while like a week into my 6th month the morning sickness went away and I felt better and then I could go out and enjoy being pregnant without staying withint 10 feet of a bathroom. It was great, I felt good, the baby was moving, and I was happier and I had energy...finally.
This pregnancy I had morning sickness here and there that did not last long. I sucked on green jaw breakers all the time and it helped somehow settle my stomach. It took me a while to find a bag of just jaw breakers because I could only find them in the 6 pound party bag for $9.00 so I went to the dollar tree and they have them all alone for $1.00.
Since then, I have been fine and feel great! It will go away for you soon, and then you will be able to enjoy the pregnancy and get your energy back...once you get your life back away from the bathroom you'll feel the attachment you're looking for

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 4:02 PM

im going through similar emotions right now. we have been ttc for 14 months. i had a miscarriage in december and i just found out last week that im preg again. im excited that i finally got preg again, but i dont feel the same emotional high that i did when i found out last time. i dont want my husband to touch my belly or anything like last time. im just afraid that im going to lose this baby too and i cant imagine letting myself get attached to it this early on just to be devestated later. i havent told anyone im preg except my best friend bc that was one of the wrost things last time...having to tell everyone i had a miscarriage - or better yet, when people i hadnt told yet would ask me how the baby was. dont feel guilty, you are just protecting yourself. im sure once you are farther along and more confident that you will not miscarry that you will bond with this child.

by on Jul. 28, 2009 at 4:05 PM

I was not attached to my second pregnancy at all.  I thought there was something wrong with me!

He showed up a month early and I was completely and utterly unprepared and totally upset because they took him right after birth for "monitoring"... but as soon as I got him back and spent a little time with him I was head over heals in love.   

Don't worry, the feelings will come.

by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 12:40 AM
its more than likely you are just still grieving the miscarriage. I know when I get really upset I tend to turn off my emotions and I feel nothing. You will be fine, if you continue to feel this way or it doesn't get any better then try talking to someone about it. Don't feel like you are alone

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by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 12:48 AM

as excited as i am to be pregnanant again since it took so long to get here i had the same feelings for a while when i first found out i was happy but scared i was so scared to lose the baby that i wouldnt think about so much and i would try not to get attached becasue i was scared of getting hurt those feelings started to ease up untill i started spotting i had a small tare in my placenta i thought for sure i would lose the baby but now i am 13 weeks and the tare fixed itself and the baby looks great i have been much happier and becoming very attached i think it also because recently i have been feeling the baby move a little bit. I was just "too scared" to let myself do what my heart wanted to do. Its hard but dont worrie momma it will pass it gets easier the further along you get.

good luck momma!


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by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 12:57 AM

This is my third, Im so unattached at this moment.  I have 4 weeks left.  I wasnt attached with my first or second either, but I can say the moment I held them in my arms I fell in love.  Im very scared with this one though I dont know what might or could happen once she gets here.  She has a different father than my first two.  I love him to death and he has always been there as a father figure for my son.  I baby my son very much because it was always just me and him and his real dad isnt in the picture.  My biggest fear is I wont treat them the same.  I think its just pre baby jitters though so good luck Im sure it will all work out.

by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 10:47 PM

thanks everyone. i went to the doctor today and they put me on zofran to stop the nausea. i'm praying it will work then i might find some happy!!

by on Jul. 29, 2009 at 11:06 PM

I know how you feel. This is my 5th pregnancy in 10 months, I lost the other 4 babies. I did not want to get exited bc I was afraid I would loose this one too and I did not want to go through that again and now I can't get happy about this baby. I am even ashamed th tell my doctor that I am pregnant again. I am lost and stuck too:(simple frown

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