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Baby shower drama

Posted by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:30 PM
  • 10 Replies

As soon as my mother in law found out I was pregnant she started planning a baby shower. Which is nice of her. However, she asks me what kind of theme do I want to do and what food would I like. Honestly I would have been fine with her just planning it and not asking me for ideas, I am not too picky. Since she asked though I told her what I would like. Sunday she informs me that they are not going to do the theme that I want and aren't going to say anything else to me about it. Maybe it is caused by pregnancy hormones, idk, but I was kind of mad. I said, "so basically you are going to do whatever the hell you want wether I like it or not." Why ask what I want if they don't care. This will be my first child, and I really want to be able to enjoy this time without all the drama. Well an hour later she calls me back and says that my friends can just give me a shower because she doesn't want to do something I wont like. Am I just being completely ungrateful? I don't mean to be, but why ask my opinion from the beginning?


Update

After my MIL tells me to just have a friend do my shower and my friend starts planning it MIL is still unhappy. She saw the invitations and is upset that we didn't put her number down for people to RSVP. She said that this is the 2nd time I have hurt her feelings so she doesn't want anything to do with it. I feel like she is trying to make this all about herself, and I don't know why I am having to be put all in the middle of this anyway. From the way she acted before I assumed she didn't want anything to do with it anyway.

by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MJWard
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 3:37 PM

WHAT? are you kidding me? she asked you what you would like then because it wasn't what she wanted to do she just said never mind? LMAO Im sorry maybe Im just way to upfront and mean but I would not let someone treat me like that..well maybe cuz my MIL drives me nuts and id like to yell at her most of the time anyway hahaha.

But to answer your question NO I dont thing your beinf ungreatful..you did just what SHE asked you to do. I say avoid the drama and have one of ur close friends do it for you.

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Schleetle
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 4:49 PM

Maybe she had something in mind as a surprise, and it hurt her feelings?... My MIL is pretty controlling so I didn't let her plan my baby shower. I knew I would end up with all the things I didn't like. I think its stupid of her to completely cancel the party though. She should have got the stuff you wanted if she asked, or found a nicer way to explain why things got changed.

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mamad122
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 4:54 PM

I would wonder if she decided to do some sort of surprise, but I don't think she should have told you that they weren't going to tell you anymore about it. She should have let you just show up, IF that was her point. It is very immature of her to just cancel the shower. My MIL is also controlling but she never offered to have a shower b/c her friend and my mom both had showers for me :-)

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TLozier
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 4:57 PM

 Geez...from the sounds of it just be greatful that she's not giving you a baby shower. Good luck, sweetie!!

expecting baby

Pukity
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 5:47 PM

For real you are not ungreatful at all, she asked for your opinion, maybe what she had in mind wasn't what you had in mind and that's why she decided not to give the baby shower, don't pay so much attention to that, and like somewhat said, you're lucky she didn't do it otherwise that would have been a real drama. Good Luck

logunsmommy
by on Aug. 25, 2009 at 6:57 PM

 Sounds like my mom!  I would tell her, that's fine you will figure it out then.  If she want's to act like a child, let her do it on her own.  Don't bring you down with her childishness (is that a word? LOL)

mama2b1230
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 8:59 AM

Thanks everyone. My mil is so different from my mom. She stays all in our business and tries to have a say in everything. It would have been better if she would have just said, "I want to give you a shower", and never asked my opinion. I am kind of relieved that she decided not to do it because we definitely don't have the same taste in things. And I would never want her to think I was ungrateful.

seddon151
by on Aug. 26, 2009 at 9:49 PM

It's just a shower, the theme shouldn't really matter. You register for the things you want so you know at the shower you'll be getting what you want. Showers are always surprises where I'm from. The only thing I told my mom was that I wanted it at her house. I don't want to have it at some rented hall. She can decorate with whatever she wants. All I care about is sharing it with the people I love. You are all lucky to have a MIL too. I never met mine, she passed away 7 years before I even met my husband.

lelandsmommy06
by on Aug. 28, 2009 at 1:07 AM

my shower was supposed to be a secret from me but i found out and was just kinda frustrated with them they had it like 45 mins to an hour away from me and everyone whos lives sround me (prettty much whole family) then they told me to be there 30 mins later then everyone else when i got there they all had already started playing games without me  i was lik wtf and then to top it off they had F*ing alcohol i was pissed i was like how u gunna make sangrias when i cant freaking drink they made me drink some nasty waterdown juice i was so mad omg who serves alcohol at a babyshower!!

aikenchic
by on Sep. 1, 2009 at 11:51 AM

I think baby showers should be a surprise for the mom to be and not something she should be involved in planning.  My Sister's SIL who lives in the same town as me wants to giv eme a baby shower.  I don't know her THAT well.  I men I like her but we are not friends or anything.  She had a baby in January and I wasn't invited to her baby shower but my mom and sister were.  Her reasoning was that we didn't hang out and it didn't feel right.  So what has changed since then?  I haven't even seen her baby yet.  She live 4 miles from me.  I think she wants to get rid of some baby stuff and feels that would be easier for her to give me the stuff she doesn't want if I came to her.  Everyone keeps asking me when I am going to have a baby shower.  Well I certainly don't plan on giving myself one and won't be hurt if no one else does but that is just me.

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