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How do I politely say No kids on my baby shower invitations??

Posted by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:40 PM
  • 14 Replies


Don't get me wrong I like kids! And it may seem early to ask this question but I am in a postition of having to plan early because of the venue.

On my side of the family there are only two new babies. But my husbands side there are tons of kids. And most of them are between 3 and 12. I was going over the guest list and there would be 24 children! Almost as many kids as there will be adults. Also his cousins are not known for their parenting skills. So I can expect to have them running all over. 

I don't want to have to provide activities and childcare.  My sister is hosting it and I don't feel she should have to do this. Baby showers are expensive enough. I am also thinking about the clean up after 24 children! Not to mention the distraction of 24 kids running underfoot, crying, fighting, and getting into things.

The sad thing is this wouldn't even be a problem if my husbands side of the family had better parenting skills but I have been to plenty of their parties to know what it's like and they are constantly having parties.


I looked online and I found a couple sites that say the correct wording is "Adults Only Shower" but I want people with small babies to know they are welcome to bring them. How should I word that?

Would it be ok to say "Adults Only Shower. Please arrange a sitter for older children" Or should I just say Nursing Babies Welcome?


Lilypie Baby Ticker

Lilypie Baby Ticker

by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Babyduche
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:42 PM

nursing babies welcome is a very polite way of saying it...i feel bad cause at my baby shower I really didn't want kids there but my niece and nephew are helping out and they are 3 and 2 so, of course I want them there...hehe but yea if you don't want kids there just put Adults/nursing babies only...

MrsLaher
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:43 PM
Hmm, good question..I would probably put something like "Adult shower only, nursing babies welcome! :)"  It's your shower and you call the shots so if anyone gets hurt then tell them you're sorry they were hurt, it wasn't personal.  Everyone should be adult enough to understand, but if not then you have no control over that.  I would just pray for people like that LOL

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

MrsLaher
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:44 PM

Quoting Babyduche:


nursing babies welcome is a very polite way of saying it...i feel bad cause at my baby shower I really didn't want kids there but my niece and nephew are helping out and they are 3 and 2 so, of course I want them there...hehe but yea if you don't want kids there just put Adults/nursing babies only...

I like "adults and nursing babies only" also!

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

mamaof2babies78
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:45 PM
Honey, you dont need to explain why you dont want 24 kids running around!  Showers are stressful enough with out children.  I think the "adults only shower please" and the "breastfeeding babies welcome" are good ones. 
theonecilla
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 12:59 PM
I sense that someone will get offended, so be sure to have a well-thought out excuse that will be easy to understand and won't be offensive. 

"Because the venue is not large enough to accomodate so many children, we thought it would be best to let each parent arrange for his or her own childcare."  Or something polite.  You and your sister will probably know who is most likely to get offended, so you can be sure to let them know well in advance.

Alternately, do you know of anyone who would be willing to do childcare at the parent's expense?  Then you could include a note for the parents of young children "our venue is not suitable for children, but for the convenience of guests attending who do have young children, I have contacted Miss So and So who has agreed to provide care at a group rate.  Please contact her for details."

Maybe.  I don't know.  Good luck though -- people have a hard time dealing with having their children excluded, even when it's for obvious reasons =)

Lilypie21 - 37 day cycle Ticker

Lsmom
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 1:11 PM
Well, personally, if I got an invitation to a baby shower that asked me not to bring my daughter, I would not show up.....but that is just me.

 

jaspermantis
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 1:19 PM

Have you made the invites yet??  If you are concerned about people bringing kids, and don't want to come right out and say it, I would put in the RSVP spot a box to check with their specific names.  Address the envelope just to the two who are invited, and on the invites where babies are welcome,  put their name and a box too!!

justamomof4
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 8:03 PM
This is a toughy, I have to take my kids eveywhere with me, so you have to consider this. Sometime it's not easy to find child care. I would probably find someone to entertain them and have games or maybe play a movie. They probably won't ALL come (hopefully). My poor aunt has a disabled daughter and she can never go to things like that and it's so sad. Do you have older teenagers in your fam.? Maybe they can help. Sorry I wasn't more helpful but in my case I wouldn't be able to come either, make sure you keep this in consideration.
BaByMaMa27
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 8:10 PM
Well, i think that "MOST" Adults know that it's sort of rude to have their children there. They would think the gifts were for them. I went to a shower recently, and there were many children there..it was hard to keep up with what presents had been opened. I dont think its rude at all. If they have a problem with it...screw them...its your baby shower! Do what you think is right. You are wording it VERY politly. I am having a shower in November, and I greatly appriciated this post. I am 18 yrs old, and need all the help i can get lol :)
Quoting Lsmom:

Well, personally, if I got an invitation to a baby shower that asked me not to bring my daughter, I would not show up.....but that is just me.

 




Lsmom
by on Sep. 21, 2007 at 10:04 PM
Oh that is silly. Kids cant go because they would think the gifts are for them? Not if their mommy is parenting and explains to them. What about birthday parties? Kids go to those and their are gifts there....That is not true at all. It is not rude to bring your child to a baby shower. Every shower i have ever been to my child and other children are were there, with no issues. Now, i do agree with the origional poster that her husbands fam needs to be considerate and make the kids mind, so maybe she has a special circumstance because these kids parents dont "parent". But, it is not rude to have a child at a shower. Once you have your child and are a parent you may understand....i dont leave mt daughter often, and if i received an invitation asking me to come support someone in having a baby and buy a gift, go out of my way to come, ect. And my child was excluded, it would make me a little annoyed and i may just forget the whole thing. Dd is well behaved and so their would be no reason that she should not be with me. Your post was rather rude to make it seem as if i am not one of "most" adults. I know what is rude and what is not, and it is not rude to bring your toddler to a shower....it is however kinda rude to ask someone to go out of their way to help you and demand they find a sitter for their child as well. As for the origional poster...the wording about nursing babies welcome sounds best to me if you are going to do it.
Quoting BaByMaMa27:

Well, i think that "MOST" Adults know that it's sort of rude to have their children there. They would think the gifts were for them. I went to a shower recently, and there were many children there..it was hard to keep up with what presents had been opened. I dont think its rude at all. If they have a problem with it...screw them...its your baby shower! Do what you think is right. You are wording it VERY politly. I am having a shower in November, and I greatly appriciated this post. I am 18 yrs old, and need all the help i can get lol :)
Quoting Lsmom:

Well, personally, if I got an invitation to a baby shower that asked me not to bring my daughter, I would not show up.....but that is just me.

 







 

 

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