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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

How old is to old to be sleeping in parents bed?

Posted by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:15 AM
  • 31 Replies

My youngest step son is 5 and he is ocassionally climbing in to bed with us. I think he is to old but my fiance is fine with it. Opinions?

by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sunshinemama86
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:28 AM

i think it depends on the family some parents never let their kids sleep in bed with them and some dont mind. i know a nine year old that climbs into bed with his mom some times but that works for them.my dd is only 3 and i do not mind if she wakes up scared and comes in our bed.

MagickalMommy
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:36 AM

I dont really think there is a set age, each child and family are too different-

I think you should look at the why -

is he having nightmares? or just lonely?

figure out the why and help him through it.


My oldest is 6 and when he was younger he had terrible night terrors that caused him to have some sleep issues so he moved into our bed. we put a bed for him in our room- he sleep there at night, and if hes sick or wakes from a bad dream he climbs in bed with us.

personally no matter how old my kids ever get if they wake up scared or sick and need to sleep with us I am never going to say no. I think that would be mean- because honestly a bad dream at 30 can make you feel scared in the middle of the night.

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I am a Radical Unschooling, Cloth Diapering, Toddlerwearing, Co-Sleeping, Proud Pagan Mommy who is addicted to Dark Fantasy Novels, Good Coffee, Video Games and Shopping


akgraff
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:38 AM

i think it depends on the family and whether or not your letting your child sleep all the time in your bed or only when they have a horrible nightmare. I think 5 is way too old to be sleeping in your bed. he is old enough to sleep in his own. I have a 4 year old daughter and i had her sleep in my bed till she was 3 (i had one bedroom and no bed at the time for her) and it caused a lot of problems to get her to sleep indipendently on her own. I have a 7 year old son and he never comes in to sleep with us. its our rule. If your that scared we will sleep on the floor by your bed for a little bit. The more you let your kids sleep in your bed the more they depend on you to help them fall asleep. I think once in a while should be okay only if he's had a horrible nightmare and can't shake it off, but for most part separate rooms separate beds.

brendynsmama
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:41 AM

Kids sleeping in bed with there parents is def. a hard habit to break.If i was you i would take him back to his bed when he does it.We had the mistake and let our kids sleep with us and now we have our daughter(who is 1yr old) getting up wanting in bed and our son(who is 3yrs. old) climbs outta his bed,into ours every nite!

othermom
by Silver Member on Jan. 19, 2010 at 8:45 AM

I don't think there is a set age really. I have never let my kids sleep in my bed, but I did occasionaly with my mom growing up when we spent the night at her house. If you both feel comfortable with it it is still okay, but if you are not comfortable with it then you  might stop it.

krystlewv
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:06 AM

IMO....I think any age is too old. I am speaking from experience because my parents NEVER let me sleep with them but I slept with my youngest. It was a nightmare for both him and I when it was time to leave the family bed. I will never, ever do that again. We dont even give in to "once in a whiles" because it turns in to a nightly thing.  Shane knows daddy and mommys bed is off limits.

bebe_ju-rah
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:20 AM

Well, my dd will be 3 feb 19th. She has always slept in our bed since she was newborn, but recently we are breaking that. Here's what we did. We bought a 2 story house last Sept (08) and the master is down and all of the other rooms are upstairs. Needless to say, having always slept with us, I was in NO hurry to put her way upstairs all night. Dec of 09 we brought her bed downstairs and converted it into a to toddler bed and bought her dora bedding for xmas (well, santa did). Now her bed is in our bedroom and she starts out the night in it. About half way through the night she sneaks into our bed, but we're working on that too. We're making progress tho. I think alot of it is on the parents, (not that cosleeping is bad, by any means) but I mean it's harder for the mommy to seperate than the baby, at least in my case! :D Good luck sweetie, I just keep telling myself at some point she will NOT WANT to sleep in our bed anymore...eventually!

girl giving flower

krystlewv
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:26 AM


 I think alot of it is on the parents, (not that cosleeping is bad, by any means) but I mean it's harder for the mommy to seperate than the baby, at least in my case! :D  I just keep telling myself at some point she will NOT WANT to sleep in our bed anymore...eventually!

girl giving flower


It was terrible on my marriage because my husband didnt agree with the whole breastfeeding/co-sleeping idea. He slept on the couch until I weaned Shane at 2. It was a sore spot between us. It was also hard on me because I felt like I was being so mean to him (shane). It made my heart hurt, literally. Shanes crib was the same height as my bed so I took off the rail pushed it up against my bed so he was sleeping on his mattress but knew I was close by. After a few weeks of that we slowly moved the bed away with the rail half-way down. It worked but it took awhile. Shane is now 4, in his own bed, in his own room, with no tv and no lights on. FINALLY! (whew......lol)

seaniesmommie87
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:27 AM

See the thing is, is I wont let him. His dad on the other hand lets him sleep all night. He occasionally has bad dreams and he gets lonely but still hes 5 and should be able to sleep thru a night in his own bed. It happens all of the time and I am getting fed up with it. My fiance will sleep all day if I let him and I get the kids up and off to school. Then I have to do my daily chores and take care of all those things

joannakitler
by on Jan. 19, 2010 at 9:35 AM


Quoting krystlewv:

IMO....I think any age is too old. I am speaking from experience because my parents NEVER let me sleep with them but I slept with my youngest. It was a nightmare for both him and I when it was time to leave the family bed. I will never, ever do that again. We dont even give in to "once in a whiles" because it turns in to a nightly thing.  Shane knows daddy and mommys bed is off limits.

AGREED!

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