Ok I have a 3yr old & I need some help on a few things.
1. He is up my butt all day. I can't get much done cause he always wants my attention. I give him lots of attention, but I work from home & have to have time to work. I also have to have some time to myself. I don't want to have him feel deprived, but then again I can't spend my whole day playing with him. He does go to daycare 2x's a week which helps, but not enough. Any thoughts?
2. Temper Tantrums. He went to MIL's & came back throwing major tantrums. Nothing happened at MIL's except she gave him whatever he asked for & I don't. I know to ignore the tantrums & usally I can, until they get to where he hurts himself or others. Then I have to restrain him. How long should the tantrums last, not in hours, but when should he get to not having them anymore? What should I watch for? Is this normal? I have 5 kids, but have never had to deal with major tantrums. Any thoughts?
I can't think of anything else right at this moment. If I do I will add it later. TIA
give him some activity to do while you work to keep him busy but that you can still keep an eye on him--my daughter loves to play with play doh or paint or color or stack blocks. Try to limit this activity to only when you have to work that way it will seem like a special activity but knows not to bother you while you are working.
Tantrums occur more frequently when she comes back from her grandparents but for me it is usually the men in her life that bend to her will and really there is no control over them. I tell her to use her words if she wants something and say please and thank you and if she is misbehaving, I make her say sorry for being naughty. I then ask her what she would like and depending what it is, I will give it to her or offer something else or distract her with something else. Giving in to a tantrum will just give them more reason to continue them.
Try reading this link (to another post on this group)
One of the techniques Dr. Karp discusses elsewhere in the book is getting some "alone" time from your child. He suggests you spend x-amount of time solely concentrating on your child's activity (say, 10 minutes) and then you let them know that now you need to work on something by yourself. Set a timer so when the timer goes off, it's time for you both to stop playing together and do your own things.
It drives my son crazy (he says, Don't set the timer, mommy) but he does give me some space so I can make dinner or read my own adult book for 15 minutes.
Quoting skywatcher1973:
He does go to daycare 2x's a week which helps, but not enough. Any thoughts? Maybe 2x's a week isnt enough. If you arent getting anything done at home, maybe he could go an extra day?
He went to MIL's & came back throwing major tantrums. Nothing happened at MIL's except she gave him whatever he asked for & I don't. This is a problem. He has to undstand that there are consequences at mawmaws house too.
Sorry you are having all these problems. Big hugs to you!
My DD isalso up my butt all the time. I do not work at home, so I know part of it is just wanting those few evening hours, but that is the time I have to do school work (online college courses) and housework and relaxing. When I do give her my undivided attention, she never wants to let it go. So, its not like I can just come home, play with her for an hour and start making dinner or something else. She has to be right there.
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- skywatcher1973
on Mar. 21, 2010 at 9:40 PM