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i need advice on terrible 2's....please help me

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 2:53 PM
  • 11 Replies

my name is amanda.  my son is 2 and 1/2 and im not doing so well with the terrible 2's.  my stress level is always high.  i cant sleep.  i would like advice on how to handle his behavior.   he doesnt listen.  i've tried counting, disciplining him, taking toys away....nothing i do works.  if i tell him to not do something, he does it.....but my mom said that is how it is with every child.  i just dont know what to do and i dont want to seem like a bad mom if i blow up at him in public.  i feel like i have no control.  he always whines and cries if he doesnt get him way.  i've never spoiled him too bad, i've always told him that he cant have everything he wants.  he hasnt always been this way.  he used to be a great listener.   his father and i split up, and i keep telling myself that has a lot to do with him behavior.  i dont know how to prevent his tantrums without giving him everything he wants.  i really need someone's help......please.

Thank You,

Amanda Ledbetter

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 2:53 PM
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by Robyn on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:29 PM

You're probably right that the split has affected his behavior. As far as blowing up... try your darnedest NOT to do that. Even when he brings you to your boiling point, don't let him see it. Remain calm, get down on his level so you can see eye to eye, and calmly tell him that what he's doing is not okay. Explain the consequences (again), and follow through. He WILL get it. He will. I promise!!

My son wasn't too bad at two. Four was much worse! Maybe you can get this out of the way early.

You might also try some sort of counseling because of the split. It can be REALLY hard on kids. Sometimes people think really young kids don't realize what's going on, but they absolutely do. I know that if my hubby and I ever split, the very first thing I would do is take the kids to counseling.

Good luck!! (((hugs)))

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:32 PM

My advice is to remember that this is only a stage. I am going through it with my 2 yr old DD and it is hard as hell. She wakes up between 3:30-5:30 most mornings and I am exhausted, frustrated, angry and fussy. My husband hates how moody I am with her, but he forgets I am around her more than he is. Try getting him into a little league sport or something. Re-direct his energy to something that will wear him out (lol). My daughter just started tap, ballet, jazz, pointe and gymnastics.

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:34 PM

DS happened to have terrible 3's. My hubby deployed last year and having his daddy gone activated the tantrums and what not. If he would have a ntantrum and I would talk to him and say what he is doing is wrong and what not and explain the copnsequiences. If that didnt work I would simply walk out of wherever we where and I would let him scream. Id simply say we are nolt going in or back [depending the situation] until you calm down. I would ask him do you want to go back? He would say yes, Id then explain to him again that he needs to calm down and we'll go back. Thats what usually works. At times its not about giving him what HE wants but to come to a compromise. You cant have this but when we go home you can have or do this.

Hopefully I was a little help. GL!!! I know how hard it can be.

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:39 PM

I agree it could be the split, and he can sense your feeling vulnerable and probably a little scared and unstable right now (all normal things to feel).  I would suggest that while you still are trying to gain control on his behavior be sure to acknowledge all of his good behaviors.  Go a little overboard when he is behaving.  For example he is sitting quietly playing with his toys, tell him he is being super good and that you are really proud of him.  I really think that if he is picking up on your negative emotions and then he is hearing a lot of negative words (no, stop, etc...) it will cause him to feel frustrated and ...well, negative.  Good luck moma!

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:54 PM
It is hard my twins are in terrible twos so trust me I KNOW how u feel. my boys don't talk a lot yet and are in early intervention and until nice weather came I was starting to loose it lol they understand things but not the u can do this if ur good or have thios if ur good scenario!!! lol so I pick my battles I get overwhelemed their dad is at work a lot and its just us so I just always remind myself to relax and be patient because being upset and yelling isn't going to help anything! just remind him when he is good praise him when he is good or helps u do something. find more activities to do with him color playdough blow bubbles just some fun little activities that won't cause him to misbehave but it will be time having fun with mommy! like I said picl ur battles I do assure u it does pass I have 3 nephews and been there with all them! me and my sisters are close so I see them all the time lol.
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:57 PM

 Bump..I think alot has to do with the split up!

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:25 PM

Try not to let it bother you when he cries.  If he wants something he can't have, he's going to cry.  Might be long and hard, complete with turning purple or throwing up.  But it doesn't change anything.  Can't have it.  Too bad, so sad.  You're the mom and you know better than he does.  If he's throwing a fit, you probably are doing a good job.

When he's older, he'll be better.

by on Apr. 2, 2010 at 5:47 AM

thank you for your advice.  i try to let him act out his fits as much as possible, but they go on for hours on end.  he makes it hard for me to do anything when he's acting up like that.  i've learned to sort of tune out his fits a little where they dont bother me so bad, but he drives my husband crazy.  i try to tell him to just calm down and let him scream, but he gets so frusterated with him that he just gets up and leaves until i call him and tell him its over.  he's him step father, by the way, so i know the fact that he doesnt completely understand a lot about how to deal with him yet is probably the biggest problem.

by on Apr. 2, 2010 at 5:50 AM

thanks, i try to do a lot of activities with him.  when its time for another activity, he just wants to stick with one.  i take him to the park a lot and to friends houses, but he NEVER wants to leave when its time to leave lol.

by on Apr. 2, 2010 at 5:55 AM

thank you for the advice.  i do praise him when he helps, and he loves to help do laundry and clean up the house.  most of the time when i praise him, he starts acting up.  overall, he's a good kid.  he's just got a lot of his moments lol

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