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My son doesn't want to spend time with me :(

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:33 PM
  • 7 Replies

My son will be 3 in June.  I watch a little girl who will be 3 in September but because of school break I don't have her today.  I'm due any day now with a baby girl as well.  So I woke up this morning thinking I'd make the day special for my son while it's still just the two of us.  So I asked him if he wants to go to the zoo and out to lunch with mommy today.  Nope, he tells me he wants to play cars and asks me to play.  Ok, that's fine, whatever we can do that instead.  Well, everytime I try to make the day special for him he starts acting up and intentionally peeing all over the place to the extent that we don't end up spending ANY positive time together.  He goes from one thing he knows he isn't supposed to do to the next.  I mean, we play together daily but if I ask him if he wants to do something special this terrorist child comes out!  He thinks he is in charge.  He tells me he wants a new mommy.  He tells me he wants me to go to work like daddy does.  And he ONLY does this stuff on days that I let him pick what we do together that day!  What's the deal?

 
















by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:33 PM
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Replies (1-7):
RobynS
by Robyn on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:36 PM

Has this just started since you've been pregnant? My first guess is jealousy. Not sure why he's sabotaging what could be a special time... that doesn't make sense. But kids don't think about consequences --they just act on emotion.

Sorry I don't have actual advice... Good luck!!

JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:39 PM

Nope, he's always done this.  He is VERY excited about being a big brother and asks me daily if his sister is big enough to be born so I don't think it's jealousy.

Quoting RobynS:

Has this just started since you've been pregnant? My first guess is jealousy. Not sure why he's sabotaging what could be a special time... that doesn't make sense. But kids don't think about consequences --they just act on emotion.

Sorry I don't have actual advice... Good luck!!


 
















Ezranight
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:43 PM

 My kids do this A LOT.  Not sure why.  We can have a GREAT day at home...as soon as we try to go somewhere or do something fun...BAM...terrors.  Some times I wonder if they are just more comfortable at home and don't WANT to go places.  Or they have something in their head they want to do that day, and don't want their plans changed...

Kinda like...one day...it's I love your, you're the best mommy EVER...an hour later...I want a NEW mommy...

I wonder if all kids are born bi-polar and then they grow out of it, lol...I really do...that's what my kids remind me of some times...

JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:53 PM

LOL well, at least I know I'm not alone!

Quoting Ezranight:

 My kids do this A LOT.  Not sure why.  We can have a GREAT day at home...as soon as we try to go somewhere or do something fun...BAM...terrors.  Some times I wonder if they are just more comfortable at home and don't WANT to go places.  Or they have something in their head they want to do that day, and don't want their plans changed...

Kinda like...one day...it's I love your, you're the best mommy EVER...an hour later...I want a NEW mommy...

I wonder if all kids are born bi-polar and then they grow out of it, lol...I really do...that's what my kids remind me of some times...


 
















marshsmom
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 4:58 PM

I totally agree with you on the being at home idea.  My son LOVES being at home and there are times when we go places and I feel like he should be having a great time and he is just whining and saying he wants to go home.  Then one day I asked him why he wanted to go home, all he could tell me was he wanted to play with his trains (he's 2.5).  I realized at that moment that I needed to look at it through his eyes.  While the zoo or the mall may be fun it can also be overwhelming and scarey to a small child.  Home is always safe and comfy and he has everything there that he loves the most.  Your son may be saying he wants a new mommy because he feels pressured about doing something special.  Maybe you could just allow this normal day to be special, just as it is....

Quoting Ezranight:

 My kids do this A LOT.  Not sure why.  We can have a GREAT day at home...as soon as we try to go somewhere or do something fun...BAM...terrors.  Some times I wonder if they are just more comfortable at home and don't WANT to go places.  Or they have something in their head they want to do that day, and don't want their plans changed...

Kinda like...one day...it's I love your, you're the best mommy EVER...an hour later...I want a NEW mommy...

I wonder if all kids are born bi-polar and then they grow out of it, lol...I really do...that's what my kids remind me of some times...


JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 5:45 PM

It even happens on days I allow it to just be special at home.  This morning I asked him "do you want to go to the zoo and to lunch with Mommy?" and he said "no, I want to stay home and play cars with you."  So I said "ok, we can do that instead" and headed in to play cars with him.  That's when this all started.

Quoting marshsmom:

I totally agree with you on the being at home idea.  My son LOVES being at home and there are times when we go places and I feel like he should be having a great time and he is just whining and saying he wants to go home.  Then one day I asked him why he wanted to go home, all he could tell me was he wanted to play with his trains (he's 2.5).  I realized at that moment that I needed to look at it through his eyes.  While the zoo or the mall may be fun it can also be overwhelming and scarey to a small child.  Home is always safe and comfy and he has everything there that he loves the most.  Your son may be saying he wants a new mommy because he feels pressured about doing something special.  Maybe you could just allow this normal day to be special, just as it is....

Quoting Ezranight:

 My kids do this A LOT.  Not sure why.  We can have a GREAT day at home...as soon as we try to go somewhere or do something fun...BAM...terrors.  Some times I wonder if they are just more comfortable at home and don't WANT to go places.  Or they have something in their head they want to do that day, and don't want their plans changed...

Kinda like...one day...it's I love your, you're the best mommy EVER...an hour later...I want a NEW mommy...

I wonder if all kids are born bi-polar and then they grow out of it, lol...I really do...that's what my kids remind me of some times...



 
















bhwrn1
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 7:25 PM

I am not sure why he would do this. But I would stop giving him the choice. Make the decision for him and just do it.

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