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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

How do you handle tantrums?

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:30 AM
  • 41 Replies

My toddler has been having terrible tantrums and has been since he was about a year old. I'm curious how you all handle them with your LOs?

 

by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
smurfy88
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:34 AM

I do time outs mostly or eye level and a stern voice... but..... the tantrums are still happening so I need some advice to!

foistela
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:44 AM

I was a firm believer in a good ol' swat to the bottom until Jensen came along. He doesn't respond to that at all. It makes him worse. I need to do some research and maybe get some books from the library but I thought it you all might be able to give some advise.

Quoting smurfy88:

I do time outs mostly or eye level and a stern voice... but..... the tantrums are still happening so I need some advice to!


joannakitler
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:49 AM

At that age the use of redirection works best.  In my experience, time out at that age doesn't work b/c they just don't get it.  One main reason he's throwing tantrums is b/c he's mad and can't tell you in words, so he's acting it out through body language and ear piercing screams.    It will take time to get over this phase.  Whatever you do, don't give into the tantrum.  If you do, he will figure out QUICKLY that if he wants something, all he has to do is kick and scream.  Just try to redirect him with another toy, change of scenery, snack etc.  Also, to ignore the tantrum when you can.  They are trying to get your attention when throwing a tantrum and if you're not there to give them the attention, they'll eventually stop.  I have been known to put the kids in their rooms and just leave.  Or just leave them where they are and walk away.

And always remember to be consistent!  Stand your ground!  DO NOT give in!  And please know, it is a totally normal part of toddlerhood.  Your child throwing a tantrum at that age does not at all reflect how you are as a parent.  All toddlers do it and I wouldn't worry.

mamalinzie
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:50 AM

A tantrum is a healthy way for a young chilld to deall with their emotions.  Its hard  being a small child where you are so phyisally and verbally limited. Its got to be incredibly frustrating. Tantrums, most of the time, at that age are how children deal with it.  Some kids need to have a safe place they can be to cry and vent their frustrations. Sometimes they need hugs and cuddles. It really depends on the child and the situation.

I have found that punishing a tantrum sends the message to the child that they are bad for having such intense emotions. They never learn how to deal with their emotions constructively and are more likely to be angry and aggressive as they get older.

If the tantrum is an attempt to get what they want (crying to get a cookie) I have found its best to acknowledge what they want, empathize that they are sad they cannot have it, and then move on. Pay it no more attention.

We give DD, literally, a safe place she can go in the house to cry and vent when need be. It really  helps to difuse the situation quickly and we can all move on.

mamalinzie
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 9:51 AM

Its a long read, but worth it for those of you looking for more insight on tantrums.

foistela
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 10:14 AM

Thank you, I will check it out.

Quoting mamalinzie:

Its a long read, but worth it for those of you looking for more insight on tantrums.


krystlewv
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 10:25 AM

I hold him still, look him in the eye, and tell him to stop. If that doesnt work its time out, if that wont work I bust his ass. We dont have tantrums very often at all. He knows when I get mad its serious business, because usually I am very easy going.

ceemuhreeashbee
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 11:57 AM

We ignore them- we just let her go, but ignore it. We just want her to know that throwing a fit isn't going to get her what she wants.

Austinsmommy126
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 11:59 AM

I used to ignore them.  My oldest is 4 now..so he doesnt really have tantrums anymore.

jenn210830
by on Apr. 18, 2010 at 12:00 PM

i normally just ignore it...he stops after a few minutes when i do that...or yesterday when we were at walmart he threw a big fit because i made him sit in the basket because he kept running around like a crackhead through the aisles, i asked him if he wanted to smell a candle and he stopped lol...i was like..hmmm maybe i should just carry around a candle in my purse all the time!!

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