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Funeral - how to explain

Posted by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:50 PM
  • 8 Replies

We are religious, and we're taking dd to her great aunt's funeral tomorrow.  She knew her pretty well from seeing her at holidays and on her birthday.  Dd is 4.  I want to explain that her aunt is going up to heaven to live with Jesus, in that way, but when she sees her body, it certainly doesn't look like her aunt is in heaven, but right there and not alive.  How do I explain it?  Just say that her aunt's heart or spirit or something like that went to heaven?  Teach her the word spirit?  She would understand heart better.  I just don't know.  Any ideas, any experience?

by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 7:50 PM
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Replies (1-8):
zolanmel
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 8:55 PM

no ide abut good luck

mommy2028
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 9:18 PM

Thank you!  We already did explain.  I found a piece of costume jewelry tonight that was my grandmothers and gave it to Emily as her Cinderella necklace (perfect!)  I told her I wished they'd met, and she asked if she had died.  I said yes and soon asked if she remembered her aunt and explained her death to her in very brief details.  It went well.

RosePetalTears
by Member on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:42 PM

Glad it went well. I'm going thru the same thing only it was my 5 yr old nephew that died and my oldest is only a few months younger than him.  We're actually still waiting on an autopsy to tell us why/how he died so i can't even say he was sick or something. He wasn't.

Velvet07
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:43 PM

i would never take my kids to a funeral religious or not  to me that just falls under things they should not see ...but good luck

alyssasmom11007
by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 10:45 PM

Are you going to let her see your aunt in the coffin?  The only reason I ask, some people do not look like we may have our last memory of them.  I refused to look at my grandma (I was 24 when she died) because I had seen too many people who didn't look right in a coffin.  Also, I would go with the spirit and we also believe that they are angels looking down on us and keeping us safe..just something I have always heard and will carry on.

beautyoperator
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 12:19 AM
Quoting Velvet07:

i would never take my kids to a funeral religious or not  to me that just falls under things they should not see ...but good luck




I must disagree with this. As a child several very close relatives of mine died and my grandmother wouldn't let any of the kids go to them. Currently none of us can deal with death in a healthy way. We do not really know how to act at funerals or have proper coping skills. I do think that children should learn the grieving process.
bubblesnnc
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 12:28 AM

i just had to go thru this with mine.  we lost their grandpa in february this year.  they understand that he is no longer with us but watching over them from heaven but as far as death goes they really don't understand the concept.  when i explained to them that he was gone i told them it was ok to be sad and cry.  i agree that children do need to learn a healthy grieving process but it should be explained on their level.  i've taken my children to all family celebrations and mournings over the years.  i think this gives them a good support system when they have to deal with tragedies in life. 

mommy2028
by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 7:57 AM

She did great.  The first thing she wanted to do was see her aunt and almost ran to the coffin.  I told her she would look different.  She looked at her for a long time, asked me t pick her up, and just said, "she looks different."  She did great all day.

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