Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 year old keeps talking about death

Posted by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:27 PM
  • 16 Replies
The past few days, dd keeps talking about death. A few examples:

- I have an app on my phone that has an interactive cat (talking tom) I let dd play with it, the first thing she asked is "can I kill it?"

-she was telling me a bedtime story. "the princess couldn't find the prince because the bad princess killed him. But then he undied because the nice princess unkilled him."

-tonight, she cuddled up to me real sweetly, hugged and kissed me, and said "I'm glad you're not dead."

Now is all this talk about death normal? Something to be worried about? I wasn't even aware she grasped the concept of death until she started talking like this.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:27 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:30 PM

IDK. My DS is a natural worrier and went through a phase where he would constantly ask me " what will I do if you die", but he never said " can I kill, or he/she killed"... I'm sure it is normal but it wouldn't hurt to run it by your doctor. Good luck :)

by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:33 PM
Normal... Kids minds are so facinating! Remember being one? Could be a case of obsessive compulsive... No big deal I don't think... The can I kill it thing is a little odd though... Movies? Tv? Video games? Hmmm
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:37 PM
My 4 year old plays tomcat and says can I beat it? But she talks about death nonchalantly as well. we lost our dog over the summer and it was VERY dramatic (she died unexpectatly in our living room) and poor dd witnessed every second of it. We try to be honest with her... I don't think what your dd is saying is abnormal. I would just tell her "don't say that its not nice" I'm sure she'll respond well
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:38 PM

 My daughter is 4 and is on a kick about death lately... She randomly asked me if everyone dies.. and i explained that yes everyone does die eventually but she doesnt have to worry about that for a very long long time.. well now she is constantly saying things like, if i eat my food will I die, or mommy dont eat too much candy you will die..

I think its just they're at that age where they are learning about it and life..



by on Dec. 27, 2010 at 11:59 PM
IDK...talking about death and being a bit obsessed can be normal...but I'm noy sure about asking to kill a toy. There is a good book called lifetimes that explains death in a really good way for kids. You could get that book, then use it to start a conversation to see if she is worried about death, if she has questions,etc.
by on Dec. 28, 2010 at 12:07 AM
My 5 yr old has been concerned with death also, we recently lost his grandma on his dads side though...he used to say things about killing or being killed but I chalked that up to the video games his dad plays and just addressed it and let him know that isn't a nice thing to say
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Dec. 28, 2010 at 1:27 AM

 My son is 4 and he talks about it too.. I think its just that they are now understanding what the word means. Earlier this year I lost my Great Grandma and he still talks about her and her being in heaven. He's constantly talking about heaven and dieing. Its just a learning process.

by on Dec. 28, 2010 at 1:31 AM

My 3 yr old DS has said a few things about dying and death lately, not sure where he is hearing it from, but I think its normal.

by on Dec. 28, 2010 at 1:48 AM

 My daughter (4) asked me and her father.. if we where going to die?  we explained to her that every living thing dies.. we dont know where she got it from, maybe a movie, tv or music.. she also told us she does not want us to grow old so we wont die.. my husband told her he will do everything possible not to age lol.. personally i think at this age they realize there is a thing called death and its permanent.. i guess they get a little anxious about it, so its a good thing to talk to them.  The killing part must have been from a video game or tv.. dont be too concerned it seams normal for them to be curious about death at this age.

by on Dec. 28, 2010 at 1:53 AM

I think it's probably normal. She is showing in her own innocent way that she is finally understanding the concept of death. I would use it as a learning tool. Ask her what she knows about death and where she learned it from. Then you can give her an age appropriate talkin' to about death and it's meaning in life.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)