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3 year old tantrums and stubborness

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:47 AM
  • 6 Replies

Wondering if anyone has some tips and pointers for me on how to deal with my 3 yr old sons outbursts.

He has been through so much for his young age already that it is hard for me to discipline him because I feel bad when I do. He is with me 4 days out of every week and visits his dad the rest of the time. I have been trying to potty train him for about a year now. He will go pee on his own and hasn't had any accidents at night or in his pants for over a year. I just can not get him to go poo on the toilet. I have tried all kinds of tricks but nothing has worked for us. He does not go regularly every day and I am unsure if he goes potty at his dads house. He will usually hide and go in his pants and then come tell me he did it. He understands and knows he shouldn't go in his pants but just tells me he is sorry for it. I will ask him why he does not want to go on the potty and he tells me he just doesn't want to. He has not worn pullups or diapers for such a long time that I will not reverse progress and put him in them again. He understands and knows to go to the toilet. At times he has tried to make it there and failed so I don't punish. I tell him accidents happen and its fine. Just that next time he needs to tell someone or get to the toilet a lil quicker. I get frustrated at times because I know he understands me and he understands what he needs to do. What can I try to do to help him with his potty progress and my frustrations?

I also have an issue with him having outbursts and hitting. He refuses to listen to me at times in simple situations. I understand toddlers have their moments. When he is in trouble and I get after him about being naughty, he will hit himself or me. He gets fidgety with his hands and has a complete meltdown. Now, he isn't in trouble very often. I am wondering how I make work with him more on not abusing himself or others and that it is ok if mommy or someone tells him no. I am curious if it has something to do with living in 2 different households with 2 different set of rules?

If anyone has advice or pointers for me please reply.

by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 1:47 AM
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Replies (1-6):
NearSeattleMom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:13 AM

He's smart enough to adapt to different rules in different houses.  Be firm, be consistent.  If you can communicate with his dad, find out if he's using the potty or not at the other house.

With the potty, encourage him as positively as possible . . . talk about how 'big boys' use the potty . . . and then offer a great bribe, something that will really motivate him.

Good luck!

3HappylKidds
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:51 AM

As for his stubborness and tantrums, when my kids decide to hit, scream or not listen to me they go to bed until they want to do as told. Simple as that. It works for my 3 and 2 year old now.

hooahreg
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 2:41 AM

thank you ladies. i've tried the bribing technique and it didn't work. i have tried time outs and those are working descent for now.

lovinmykiddo07
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 2:44 AM
You and dad need to come together and set some ground rules. It's going to be hard for anything to work if you two aren't on the same sheet of music.
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lovinmykiddo07
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 2:46 AM
Time outs are the only thing that works for my 4 year old. be consistent and let him know that YOU are the adult. Focus on the good, lots of praises...

Quoting hooahreg:

thank you ladies. i've tried the bribing technique and it didn't work. i have tried time outs and those are working descent for now.

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.Angelica.
by on Jun. 5, 2011 at 7:44 AM

For the potty training stuff, it takes some kids a little longer to get poop on the potty down. My son has been out of diapers since 19 months but up until almost 3 I was still having to take him to the potty when I noticed him trying to poop in his underwear. It finally just clicked for him one day.

And my son also hits himself when he gets in trouble too. I usually just ignore him when he does it cause I know he's doing it for attention (he doesn't hit anyone else, just himself) and now that I think about it I don't know how long it's been since the last time he did that.

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