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Question for moms of 2 year olds or almost 2 year olds?

Posted by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 3:58 PM
  • 16 Replies

 Hi, my friend has a little one that will be 2 in August and right now she doesn't have custody of him (long story dhs does). He is currently acting up banging his head, throwing major tantrums, inconsolable at times and his mood changes quickly. He has been around his father that neglected him until he was 7-8 months old, mom had a hard melt down when dad went to jail (for trying to kill her) and he has an older sibling (sister will be 4 Nov.). I know that he has some problems and being in foster care doesn't help. The kids have been in foster care since January 2011 and he is in his 3 foster home, his sister will join him in a few weeks (they have been seperated). The 2nd foster home that him and his sister were in had a total of 8-9 kids in it with all of the kids being under 14 years old. Mom is trying her best to get them back and doing what she needs to do to make that happen. The question I have for everyone is what would you think would be the cause for his fits, tantrums, head banging, etc? They are leaning towards it being autism but wouldn't that be apparent from birth? He was in my custody for a while and never acted like this and we are both at a loss. I know that he is a great baby, loving, caring, affectionate, but also needs his space and one on one cuddle time. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 3:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ArmyWifeAshlie
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:01 PM
My son throws ridiculous fits, and his moods change quickly. He'll be 2 in September. He also went through a head banging phase but that has ended and he is now shrieking. He wants to see how he can get his way.

My son is incredibly smart, interactive...he's just a toddler. If they are concerned it's more than a phase they should speak to his dr.
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Mommy_Burge
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:03 PM

 I wouldn't automatically think autism.

He's 2 and he's been in 3 foster homes, his dad abused him, he had to go through DHS and then his father trying to kill his mother. Little kids pick up on those kinds of things QUICK. I would say that his actions (head banging, etc) are just a side effect of the trauma that he has gone through at such a young age. I'm sure that, if and when, he returns to his mothers care....providing that she doesn't return to that same man or a man with the same characteristics.....his anxiety and behavior will improve.

If anything I think his actions are a cry for help. For some attention. That poor sweet little boy :( And his sister too. What an awful thing to have to go through at such an age where they hardly understand whats going on.

Bean1980
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:05 PM
Maybe it's all the changes in his life. Look what he's been thru and he isn't even 2 yet. I highly doubt it's autism, I think he's had a rough, unstable life.
I have a son turning 2 in August, he can have melt downs, temper tantrums and an attitude.
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travellingmom20
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:07 PM

What would make him act this way? I think everything you just stated would make any child act this way. He's not even 2 yet and he's already been yanked from his home, away from his parents and he's on his 3rd foster home? Wow! Poor, poor baby. I think he has every right to be acting out. That baby needs consistent love, care and attention and from what it sounds like he's not getting any of that. And it sounds like his home life before being yanked away wasn't very good either. I'd say he's acting quite naturally for what he's been through in his young life. And until he gets some normal, consistent, loving care it's not going to get any better.

Autism doesn't always show from birth. I have a friend whose child is autisitc and it wasn't discovered until she was 3. There are many different types of autism and sometimes it can be very difficult to tell.

 

ilovemyson2002
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:12 PM

 my oldest used to do that at that age  and at age 5 we was told he has  adhd and odd 

my son even tested for autism but the doctor said no and that aroun 2 or close to 3

Crazy_Daze
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:14 PM

I would think everything you just told us about would be the reason for his acting out. A lot of kids thrive in a familiar and stable environment and he doesn't have that at all. And at 2, tantrums are totally normal. I wouldn't assume he has anything medically wrong with him until he's in a steady home for awhile, and even then he may need some sort of counseling. I'd say just love him and give him as much of your time as you can.

LKjoy930
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:31 PM
This


Quoting Mommy_Burge:

 I wouldn't automatically think autism.


He's 2 and he's been in 3 foster homes, his dad abused him, he had to go through DHS and then his father trying to kill his mother. Little kids pick up on those kinds of things QUICK. I would say that his actions (head banging, etc) are just a side effect of the trauma that he has gone through at such a young age. I'm sure that, if and when, he returns to his mothers care....providing that she doesn't return to that same man or a man with the same characteristics.....his anxiety and behavior will improve.


If anything I think his actions are a cry for help. For some attention. That poor sweet little boy :( And his sister too. What an awful thing to have to go through at such an age where they hardly understand whats going on.


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Sarcasimom
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 4:35 PM
Autism isn't something you see when they're born. There are different forms some more mild than others. I do know that a lot of kids do the head banging thing. I have 3 boys and they've all done that. It's usually them being frusterated (at least in my kids cases) and not knowing what else to do.
He could be acting out because of everything he's already been through in his short little life.
I wish your friend the best of luck!
cristinsm
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 5:26 PM

I would gather that he needs consistency the same home the same ppl the same route every day with lots of one on one attention with less attention put on the bad behavior. with a quick "we don't do that, you will hurt yourself then helping him find something else to do and give lots of praise for the nicer thing to play

zolanmel
by on Jul. 7, 2011 at 6:05 PM
Autistim. It didn't show up with my 4 y.o. tills eh was almost 2.
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