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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

My son is 4 and not potty trained

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:00 AM
  • 17 Replies

Please before you all start thinking "bad mom bad mom hes 4 and not potty trained" please listen to my story.

 

My sons name is Jonathan and he will be 5 in June. I have been trying to potty train him for the past 2 1/2 yrs. I have tried disiplin and punishment and rewards and all that. Ive stood him in the corner and took his toys away and gave him a sucker for trying and all that jazz. He still refuses to "go potty" Getting him to put on underwear is like world war 3. He fights me and crys. And its not normal cry. No. When Jonathan cries he cries for like 2 hrs. He cries so bad to the point that he forgets what he was crying about and then when i try to sit him on the potty (he has his own) he screams that hes scared. I recently had a beautiful little girl who is now 6 months old and I dont know if Jonathan is acting out because he doesnt get 100% of mommy's attention anymore. But I have tried EVERYTHING but standing him on his head and im half tempted to stand him on his head. His dr thinks he had ADHD so I dont know if that has something to do with it or not but ive had it up to here with the fighting and the arguing and the crying. I dont know what to do anymore and I feel like a bad mom for him not being potty trained  yet. HELP!!!!!!!! please


by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
laughnchica
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:09 AM

I would talk to a doctor and see if maybe there is something else going on. I know with my 21/2 year old, we just went and sat on the potty together every 20 minutes. Whether she liked it or not. There were times where she would throw a fit and yell for an hour but I just would wait until she was done then told her that we are still going to sit on the potty. She did not like it..her behavior about it worsened for awhile then she realized that I wasn't giving in...but if you have been trying for 2 years, there has to be something else going on too. Maybe sing a song with him about going potty, try to make it super fun and not scary. 

RaeVega0813
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this
My 4 year was hard to potty train but we made a game out of it. We put a cheerio in the toilet and told him to aim for it lol a little weird but my grandma suggested it she said she did it will my uncle when he was barely walking. It worked wonders for us!
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souixwoman21
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:17 AM

ty ill try that 

mrs.novoa09
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:17 AM
I also read somewhere that potty training when something or surroundings are new isn't a good idea like moving or having a new sibling. We were potty training good my son is 2 and than we moved his sister was born it was chaos. Now he's gonna be 3 in Friday and my daughter is gonna be 1 next month. I think he's more confidant with his role as big brother and is eager to learn. Maybe talk to his doc to see if there is a strategy you can use. Good luck
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.Angelica.
by Angie on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:18 AM

i would ask in the potty training support group on different methods you can try. i do know that punishment is not good to use with potty training. good luck.

MamaHome
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:41 AM

Well......

Have you tried just stopping? My ds was VERY stubborn also (he was 3 before it stuck), so my hubby and I took a hands off approach. Obviously he knows what the potty is for, and that he should be using it. Now just take a week, or month to just let him come to it on his own. We did this, and one day my son came right up to me and said "Mama, I'm ready to go potty". Ever since that day we never had an issue.

Every kid is ready at a different time. Stressing over it, will only prolong the topic.

SP_Mama
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:41 AM

My son was over 4 when he finally potty trained.  Like you, we'd tried everything we could think of.  We had reward charts, he had to clean up his own messes, we let him pick out his underwear, everything.  What finally hit home with him was when his pediatrician talked to him about how he's a big boy and big boys need to use the potty.  Within a week, he was potty trained.  Now, she didn't tell him anything we hadn't but I guess it sounded different coming from her because it worked.

Good luck because I know just how frustrating it is.  :-(

souixwoman21
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 11:55 AM

ty all for your support! I have really tried it all the cherrieos the punishment, time out, the underwear thing. Im so close to screaming. I dont drink and its driving me to drink lol


poshkat
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 12:01 PM

this. my son was not potty trained until right before he turned 4. it was such a hassle. he was speech delayed and there was also a sensory issue with him. it was just so hard!!! i made him a potty chart and every time he peed he would put a sticker on it (we let him pick the stickers) and when he pooped he would get a candy cane (it was Christmas vacation so we went with the flow).

we did try since he was 2 but he was just not ready so we stopped. we just waited until he was ready. one day he just came up to me with a potty training book, it was a little story about a boy getting his first potty and about how he had some mess ups but in the end he potty trained. we must have read that book 20 times a day and finally ds said, i want to potty like the boy in the book!!

there were other small things we did, we took a tour of the toilet, we showed him how it works, we opened up the tank and let him see, we let him put the seat up and down and flush to see that he wont get flushed down. it was a process and a half!!

don't get too obsessed with it, he will be ready when hes ready, all you can do is help him along, make it fun and show him in little steps

Quoting MamaHome:

Well......

Have you tried just stopping? My ds was VERY stubborn also (he was 3 before it stuck), so my hubby and I took a hands off approach. Obviously he knows what the potty is for, and that he should be using it. Now just take a week, or month to just let him come to it on his own. We did this, and one day my son came right up to me and said "Mama, I'm ready to go potty". Ever since that day we never had an issue.

Every kid is ready at a different time. Stressing over it, will only prolong the topic.


Iskkra
by on Jan. 10, 2012 at 12:10 PM
My son was nearly four when we finally got him trained. I was just as frustrated as you, and had tried everything. Finally I took the advice my mom gave me, something I really didn't want to do but I was desperate...
I started making him clean out his underwear. Whether it was pee or poop, he had to wash it out, with soap, in the bathroom sink, wring it out, and clean up any mess on the floor. It literally took less than a week and he never had an accident again.
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