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Help! Jealous toddler and we're expecting.

Posted by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:34 PM
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Momma of one and hopefully soon to be two. Our little boy is kind hearted, well behaved and loves babies. He plays well with other kids his age, has no problem sharing, listens all the time and is soft with the little bity ones. But the second I actually hold a baby he has a complete melt down. How do I make the process easier for him and get him ready for a new baby?
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 5:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
othermom
by Gold Member on Jan. 15, 2012 at 6:07 PM

One thing I did with my oldest is got him a doll and showed him how to hold the baby ect. Also had him (then my second when I was having my third) help pick out a toy to give the baby and help pick clothes to get, ect to get them involved. Once the baby came I had them help grab diapers or things for them to be involve. Maybe get a book about a new baby and talk about it, make sure to spend quality time with him, ect

mamalisi
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 8:52 PM

let your son help! give him special jobs. he is going to be the big brother so he needs to know its his baby too. let him help pick out babies outfit and toys. take him shopping for presents for baby. and let him help you with stuff around the house. let him know only he can do these jobs so he feels included!

.Angelica.
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:09 PM

i'm not sure. my son is 4 and my dd is 2 weeks. he's been really excited for her so he's done great.

rHOPEb
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:18 PM

I have a 3yr old daughter and I babysit.  I have more fears about one lil girl I watch than my own daughter.  B/c I've kept kids for over 5yr now, and always had babies in the house.  Anyway.......I would definitely talk about the baby every day.  Ask him, 'Where's the new baby?' and point to your belly.  Make sure he is a part of the entire pregnancy.  Going to the appoitnments and hearing the heartbeat or seeing it on the US.  Let him pick out clothes and diapers etc.  Make sure he is your 'helper' in all things baby!  :)  Also, you can get a doll and he can help you change diapers and things like that.  Congrats on #2!  Ours gets here in the summer and my daughter talks to my belly, rubs it, and kisses it.  :)  It will be fine, but an adjustment for everyone.  Good luck and God bless..........

rHOPEb
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:21 PM

OH......and what my friend did was get her oldest child a present to open from the new baby when the child came to see about the new baby at the hospital.  It was so cute!  Many people give 'big brother/sister' gifts at the showers too.  

Chemikall
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:21 PM
I'm glad you posted this. I'm pregnant with my second, and I've been worried about it, too. My son is never around little babies, so it will be a big change!
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2boysyahoo.com
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:32 PM

What i did with my son he was 2 when i told him he was going to be a big brother. Then when we found out we were having a boy we let him help name him. We gave two choices on the names and he chose Logan instead of Ethan. so we went with Logan since my son wanted his brother to be named Logan. Then when Logan started kicking me i held up his hand and said feel your brother. He didn't like the touh. with a month before the birth of Logan i made Haiden a speical shirt that says I'm the Big Brother while he helped make it, he chose the colors of the letters. Then when i had two weeks left before the induction day i asked Haiden (my oldest son) if he wanted to get a present for his brother. We went to walmart and he got him a present, and i well got him a matchbox car. He helped me pack up the hospital bag. Then i explained to him that grandma was going to stay while mommy gets Logan out of her tummy. When Logan was born, my mom brought Haiden up to see me and Him and daddy and the first thing he asked when he walked in was is Logan out of your tummy. I said yes, and daddy bent down and showed him. He touched him and i said Haiden do you want to give Logan your present. He said yes and he gave Logan a present, and i said to him congrats your a big brother.

 When we took Logan home he didn't care at all since playing outside was more important, but when he came in all he wanted to do was hold and kiss him.  I asked him to help pick out  Logans' oufits for the day and he watched Arthtur which helped him learn about being a big brother since Arthur is.

 Now Haiden is going on 4 and logan is 15months old. They fight now, and i don't think haiden is enjoying being a big Brother now since he has to share with him, but deep down i know he loves him.

 So i would say prepare him for it,  let him help and please tell your friends and family to don't forget him and make sure he gets gifts too so that way he don't feel left out. Plus he needs to recoginized as a big brotehr since it is a milestone in his life.

LaughterHugs
by on Jan. 15, 2012 at 9:35 PM

 babywearing helped my DD a lot!!

also reading books about new sibs and what big sib could do to help or do to the newb too, like bring dipes, or stressing what special big kid jobs he gets to do to help his new baby

hopealways4019
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 9:39 AM
Just explain too him, about new sibling, include him in help planning for baby.
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i01proof1214
by on Jan. 16, 2012 at 10:19 AM

my dd was 3 when we had my son and she loved him and loved helping. let him help . also its ok to let the baby cry and comfort him first. thats what our pedi told us

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