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Need help!

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:43 AM
  • 13 Replies

I have been working on getting my 20 mo DD on a routine for about a month now, and it's been a rollar coaster.


8am-wake up, bath & breakfast

12pm-1pm-naptime

7:45-8pm-brush teeth, quiet time, bedtime


Wake up has been fine, because I get her up.

It's been suggested that I get her up earlier in the morning. I could get her up as early as 7:30am, but wouldn't want to wake her before brother gets on bus at 7:15am. He is in 2nd grade & has special needs, so he really needs the mornings to himself in case of any meltdowns or complications.

Naptime has been questionable. Sometimes, she'll be out in 15 min, other times I lay with her for an hour, and she isn't asleep yet, and if she is still up an hour later, I end up getting up. We try naptime again before brother gets home at 3:15pm and it is usually successful, but this leads to a later nap & leads to possibly complicating bedtime further.

Bedtime. Ugh! I put big brother to bed then lay down with her. Same as naptime. Sometimes she is out in 30 minutes. Other times, still up an hour later, and that is when we get back up.

I still nurse her to sleep, and sending her to bed alone isn't yet an option.

It feels like the only time she sticks to the routine well is when she is lacking sleep, but I know being overly tired isn't something I want to deal with either.

I know that she is ON routine for the most part. She is starting to get up on her own between 8-8:30am, and she acts like she's ready for a nap right around noon. However, bedtime...oh, bedtime. It's the only thing I can't figure out!

The biggest complicating factor for bedtime is that my SO gets home from work (he commutes an hour both ways) at around 6:30pm. I try to have dinner ready by the time he gets home. We all eat dinner together, we clean up the dinner dishes, and almost immediately following is the bedtime routine. My son goes to bed fine most of the time. I have him brush teeth & lay down & he is usually down for the count. Then I lay down with DD, usually for an hour. This brings us to 9pm. Since my SO commutes, he gets up at 5:30am, and by 9:30pm, he's ready for bed himself. No "us" time!!

I am willing to change bedtime to like an hour earlier. I'd like both kids to be on the same schedule. I just have to coordinate an early dinner for the kids & then dinner for SO when he gets home. (Any ideas/suggestions for coordinating meals are welcome as well!)

I just want to have dinner & bedtime done within a decent time period & have some of the evening to myself & to spend with my SO. Within reason, of course.

I absolutely dread bedtime right now & feel like just giving up but I know that isn't going to save my sanity either. I need help!

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
candycrz
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 9:54 AM
Try bathtime before bed instead of the mornings. Since she is nursing I would read to her that's what I do with my 2 year old. I wake him at 8 he don't get naps unless daddy is home and if he does its from 12 to 3 then 7 I give snack 7:30 is bath time everyother day then 8 I lay him down read 2 books then I leave the room if he screams oh well lol
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corrinacs
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:12 AM

Hmmm, its so different for me because Caden was already in a toddler bed by that point and totally responsible about it.  SO, this might not apply ot you, but just in case it interests you.

I put Caden to bed and he's allowed to stay up but he has to play quiet games like reading.  He can have video games (iPad, DS, etc) only on Non-school nights.  He's not allowed to come out of his room is the only rule.  Once we started that we have all been happier :)

Rubymomof1
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:23 AM
I would change the bath time to before bed and maybe shorten her nap time to like 30 mins or 45 mins she might be more ready for bed without being overly tired. Overly tired is just no fun. You might also want to try a snack before she brushes her teeth before bed.
Ammie25
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:33 AM


Quoting Rubymomof1:

I would change the bath time to before bed and maybe shorten her nap time to like 30 mins or 45 mins she might be more ready for bed without being overly tired. Overly tired is just no fun. You might also want to try a snack before she brushes her teeth before bed.

Thanks! I have thought about having bathtime before bedtime. It's just with the dinnertime/bedtime rush, there is hardly ever time. But I think if we do dinner & bedtime earlier at a more relaxed pase, this might work.

Ammie25
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:34 AM


Quoting corrinacs:

Hmmm, its so different for me because Caden was already in a toddler bed by that point and totally responsible about it.  SO, this might not apply ot you, but just in case it interests you.

I put Caden to bed and he's allowed to stay up but he has to play quiet games like reading.  He can have video games (iPad, DS, etc) only on Non-school nights.  He's not allowed to come out of his room is the only rule.  Once we started that we have all been happier :)

We've been co-sleeping since the day she was born. It's just easier since she nurses. We did kind of "extend" our bed, but she's not yet in her own bed. :)

Ammie25
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:36 AM


Quoting candycrz:

Try bathtime before bed instead of the mornings. Since she is nursing I would read to her that's what I do with my 2 year old. I wake him at 8 he don't get naps unless daddy is home and if he does its from 12 to 3 then 7 I give snack 7:30 is bath time everyother day then 8 I lay him down read 2 books then I leave the room if he screams oh well lol

Ok, so you do a snack an hour before bedtime, then bath, books & bed. I am sure I could incorporate that into our routine. :)

Ammie25
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:36 AM


Quoting Rubymomof1:

I would change the bath time to before bed and maybe shorten her nap time to like 30 mins or 45 mins she might be more ready for bed without being overly tired. Overly tired is just no fun. You might also want to try a snack before she brushes her teeth before bed.

Yes, shortening naptime might be an idea. I wasn't going to do that, but it might be the way to go.

orangemomma
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:36 AM

 I started to get my now 2 year old on a schedule when he was 2 mo old. I know futile at the time, but really worked. The only thing is, if you are not ready to let her go to bed by herself (without you lying next to her) may keep being hard for you. I know with Hudson, when he was about 8 mo old, I did the "cry it out" method, and after the first day of "torture" he screamed for over an hour, with me going in every 15-20 min to soothe him (not pick him up, just rub his back or tummy and shhh him), then fell asleep for an hour, every day after that it lessened and lessened. Now, he'll talk to himself for 10 - 15 minutes and be asleep.This took us about 1 - 2 weeks. This goes for naptime and bedtime. I know it's hard to listen to them fuss, but it helps them self soothe themselves. My son doesnt always like going to bed at 8, but thats his bedtime and thats that. I tell him that if he fusses and wastes time then we wont have time to read bedtime stories, and this usually makes him much more cooperative. I know that this method of letting them cry it out doesnt work for all parents and children, but man it really worked with mine. :-) Good luck!

Rubymomof1
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Your welcome I hope it helps. Remeber try to not stress about it to much.
candycrz
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 10:58 AM
Yeah that snack is to fill his belly a little bit for bed.

Quoting Ammie25:


Quoting candycrz:

Try bathtime before bed instead of the mornings. Since she is nursing I would read to her that's what I do with my 2 year old. I wake him at 8 he don't get naps unless daddy is home and if he does its from 12 to 3 then 7 I give snack 7:30 is bath time everyother day then 8 I lay him down read 2 books then I leave the room if he screams oh well lol

Ok, so you do a snack an hour before bedtime, then bath, books & bed. I am sure I could incorporate that into our routine. :)

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