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temper tantrums

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:11 PM
  • 3 Replies

My son has been enrolled in daycare since November . The place is great , but my son is a hitter and has been shrieking whenever he doesn't get his way.  I've read 1-2-3 magic; the counting doesn't work. I've used redirection, I've used time outs. Nothing seems to affect his behavior. Daily I'm receiving reports from the staff and director. I know other children hit at this age, but it seems that my son's behavior is constant, (according to the staff) and the staff is losing patience. HELP! I am a teacher,I have tons of teaching strategies, but i can't seem to teach my son that it is wrong to hit.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:11 PM
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TexasKaty
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:23 PM
Oh no! I'm sorry! Something is reinforcing his bad behavior... Could it be the attention he gets when he hits?
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Karen_S
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:26 PM

So, first off, if I were you I would ask for a meeting with his teacher.  Find out exactly what he's doing and when.  Are there any triggers or patterns?  Does he hit lots of kids, or just one or two that he doesn't get along well with (in which case you can ask the teacher to encourage them not to play together a lot). Does it happen on the playground/outside, or inside, or both?  It is at a particular time of day (maybe later on when he's tired?)?  Depending what's going on, you might figure out better ways to avoid the problem (i.e. if he hits more later in the day because he's cranky and overstimulated, you can ask his teacher to have him have some quiet time or a little rest mid-afternoon.)

Also, teach him how to use his words.  A lot of kids hit or bite at that age because they don't know what else to do.  So teach him (and show him - act it out with him a bunch) if another child takes his toy, to say "STOP, don't take my toy" and then to get the teacher's help. Or if a kid pushes him to say "Don't push me".  And teach him what to do if he want to use a toy another child uses, how to ask for it, and how to be patient if he can't have it yet. Teach him OK ways to deal with his anger, like hugging a stuffed animal, or jumping up and down quickly.  It's always better to tell a kid what they *can* do instead of waht they can't - you need to say "no hitting" and punish, but you also need to teach him how to deal with whatever feelings are making him hit. 

zackysma72
by on Feb. 9, 2012 at 4:46 PM

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I will try the positive reinforcement strategies. I read yesterday that you should say what you want your child to do instead of telling them what you want them to stop doing. The human brain will naturally focus on what you dont want them to do as a matter of simple processing of  the data. 

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