Spanking Study Is Shocking to People Who Live In Caves! Do You Agree with Spanking?
Spanking Study Is Shocking to People Who Live In Caves
For my husband and me, not spanking our child has been mostly a gut decision.
It just feels like the right choice for us. We haven't been compiling
research that proves spanking is bad for kids, although there seems to
be a lot of that research out there lately.
The latest study shows a link between spanking and aggressive behavior in spanked children. It's not a make-or-break study for me, but it does make me feel more confident in my choice. And it also doesn't surprise me at all.
The new study looked at 20 years' worth of research -- none of which found positive, long-term effects from spanking. Instead, "every-day" type physical punishment is linked to increased levels of aggression in the kids. Co-author of the study, Joan Durrant, says, "I think it's important for parents to understand that although physical punishment might get a child to do something in the immediate situation, there are many side effects that can develop over the long term."
And those possible side effects? Kids who see parents respond to conflict by spanking may, in turn, use physical violence when they, too, are in conflict or are frustrated. Well... yeah! Sounds totally logical to me. So if there are no positive long-term outcomes from spanking, only negative side effects, why would I ever consider doing it?
I was spanked as a child, and it always scared me. I don't recall ever having a moment of thoughtful reflection after getting spanked. Mostly I felt angry, threatened, and more than anything else, hurt. It just felt intrinsically wrong. It felt utterly at odds with every single other experience I ever had with my parents. So for as long as I can remember, I have been telling myself that I would never spank my own children.
I don't recall ever promising myself that I wouldn't put my child in time out, or ground my child, or subject my child to a boring, squirm-inducing lecture, though. Authoritative parenting makes a lot of sense to me.
While a generation ago its seemed like almost everyone spanked, I don't think any of my friends spank their kids now (though supposedly 22% of parents in the U.S. say they do it). Around my community, anyway, it's considered kind of a freaky, out-of-control thing to do. And that gives me hope that maybe the next generation of kids will be more capable of dealing with life's frustrations in a non-aggressive way.
Do you spank your children? Why or why not?
Not "everyday" goodness gracious no.....
But if Caden or Leo is doing something that's extremely dangerous and they aren't listening, then yes. I will give them a good "pop" to get things going.
But I hardly use aggression like that. I will ask nicely and increasingly ask louder and louder until it gets done....finally with taking thigns away...but I hardly if ever resort to spanking.
This is the ONLY time I ever spank my kids either. I can count on one hand how many times I have actually done it.
The study doesnt shock me at all.
Quoting corrinacs:Not "everyday" goodness gracious no.....
But if Caden or Leo is doing something that's extremely dangerous and they aren't listening, then yes. I will give them a good "pop" to get things going.
But I hardly use aggression like that. I will ask nicely and increasingly ask louder and louder until it gets done....finally with taking thigns away...but I hardly if ever resort to spanking.
My sisters and I were all spanked when we did wrong. I was never angry or threatened when I was. I saw my dad cry when he spanked us. When I got spanked I was sad that I disappointed my parents and tried not to do it again. Myself and my sisters have never been aggressive girls. We are all respectful and moral adults. I do spank my children if needed. My kids do not need it very often. They do try not to continue doing whatever it was they did to deserve the spanking. They are intelligent children who are respectful to all adults. They know right from and wrong and do their best to do right. They have high morals just like everyone else in my family.
My 3 kids maybe and that is a strong Maybe get spanked every 2 or 3 months on average!
Will I quit spanking because of this, no.
Maybe instead of focusing on this topic the should do more "studies" on kids who are allowed to run around all hours of the night, and how that affects them, or some other topics, and let parents raise their children.
Yep :). Like, Caden used to have this fascination wtih light sockets. He would pull those darn covers out and stick things in there. After I told him so many times (and he got shocked) I finally had to resort to popping him in his hand when he did it. Did the trick :).
But for everday things, absolutely not.
Quoting Gweneveer:This is the ONLY time I ever spank my kids either. I can count on one hand how many times I have actually done it.
The study doesnt shock me at all.
Quoting corrinacs:Not "everyday" goodness gracious no.....
But if Caden or Leo is doing something that's extremely dangerous and they aren't listening, then yes. I will give them a good "pop" to get things going.
But I hardly use aggression like that. I will ask nicely and increasingly ask louder and louder until it gets done....finally with taking thigns away...but I hardly if ever resort to spanking.
So proud of all I have....My big boy Caden and my little Leo.
It is funny the kids are getting spanked less but this generation of children is more disrespectful to adults then any other generation. They don't have high work ethics or morals. I think no matter how you parent if you spank (no beat), corner, take away stuff as long as you don't let them get away with stuff they will turn out okay. I think to many people are slacking on being a parent vs a friend that they end up doing whatever they want and saying whatever they want.
Quoting STKsMomma:
We spank, as a last resort. I was a spanked child and so were my 3 siblings. None of us are aggressive in the least bit. I think that a lot of these "studies" focus on kids that are spanked "everyday" , that is not a parent who spanks that is a parent who is abusive.
My 3 kids maybe and that is a strong Maybe get spanked every 2 or 3 months on average!
Will I quit spanking because of this, no.
Maybe instead of focusing on this topic the should do more "studies" on kids who are allowed to run around all hours of the night, and how that affects them, or some other topics, and let parents raise their children.
I personally don't care if you spank or not, but I will tell you where to go if you try to tell me how to raise my kids!
Quoting suziq1982:It is funny the kids are getting spanked less but this generation of children is more disrespectful to adults then any other generation. They don't have high work ethics or morals. I think no matter how you parent if you spank (no beat), corner, take away stuff as long as you don't let them get away with stuff they will turn out okay. I think to many people are slacking on being a parent vs a friend that they end up doing whatever they want and saying whatever they want.
Quoting STKsMomma:
We spank, as a last resort. I was a spanked child and so were my 3 siblings. None of us are aggressive in the least bit. I think that a lot of these "studies" focus on kids that are spanked "everyday" , that is not a parent who spanks that is a parent who is abusive.
My 3 kids maybe and that is a strong Maybe get spanked every 2 or 3 months on average!
Will I quit spanking because of this, no.
Maybe instead of focusing on this topic the should do more "studies" on kids who are allowed to run around all hours of the night, and how that affects them, or some other topics, and let parents raise their children.
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pulling my son from preschool
- Cafe Kelly
on Feb. 13, 2012 at 3:28 PM