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My Daughter all of the sudden doesn't like my boyfriend anymore...What should I do?

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2012 at 10:51 PM
  • 44 Replies

Hi everyone,

      I am the mother of two. A six year old and a 22 month old. The issue is my 22 month old. She all of the sudden doesn't like my boyfriend. She screams and cries and doesn't want anything to do with him.

    Weird enough He watched her for me while I was working for about two months. She seemed fine with him at that time. Snuggling and playing and having normal time like a Dad would.

    I can assure you that he has never ever physically hurt her. He has been nothing but caring with her. My boyfriend has changed since i met him and I wonder if it has anything to do with her behavior as well. He is stressed and not the same sweet person he was before his own personal situation went through lots of stress. Him and I have talked about this but can't put our finger on a reason why she would act so insane around him.

   Since we now live together it has been hard. Not only on my daugher but for my older daughter, my boyfriend and myself. It has changed my own feelings over the whole situation and I am sure his feelings as well.

I need some sort of advice. We pinpointed a few things that may have effected her.

1. We sent her back to daycare instead of keeping her all day.

2. He has changed his personallity in my opinion pretty drastilcally. Although he doesnt think it is that much.

3. There was a car accident when he was driving. It was not a bad accident and she didn't even bump her head or have any injury but I think it made a impact on her.

From one mom to a million others can anyone please give me advice?

Thanks



UPDATE: APRIL 2 2012

OK so a few days ago I left work and I got a text from my Now Ex Boyfriend that he moved out! Thanks God. Since this last post there has been a lot that has happened. One is I stopped my then boyfriend from being alone with my kids at all. Then, Him and I got in a fight because I caught him Taunting my daughter with a nasty face. No noise just a face. HE DENIED IT EVEN THOUGH I SAW IT. So we had a big huge blow out fight with me telling him I wish he would leave. Four days later he did. But He left a bed here he needs to come back and get. ANd I need to find a roomate to help me afford this house.. We love it here and I don't want to uproot my kids again.

Needless to say I went through all of his personal papers when he went to out of the house one day and found medical papers saying he is bipolar!!!!!! OMG! He lied to me and moved me out of my safe home with my two happy girls. So who knows what he put my kids through? 

I have been praying and I am just so greatfull that my girls are happy and healthy. I pray now for a good roomate.

Thank you for all of you that had concern and shared your thoughts.

The baby was checked by the dr and she is fine. So I am thinking now that he is gone........She will feel more secure.

Also she finally met her daddy for the first time. She is going to be two at the end of this month. They are so in love with each other! It amazes me how blood really is a connection.

Thanks again Mommys.


by on Mar. 9, 2012 at 10:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
steffielou_who
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2012 at 10:52 PM
1 mom liked this
Ummm... Has he touched her??? That was my first worry...
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amykysmom
by on Mar. 9, 2012 at 11:14 PM

No way! I already addressed that in my post. I would like some advise but anyone who posts to me please be aware that this is a question to help me figure out a solution. It is not judgement day on my boyfriend. I mentioned in my post that he has never physically hurt my daughter. If he did he would be in jail. He certiainly wouldnt be living with us.

XandersMama2012
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 1:46 AM
3 moms liked this

Sounds to me like maybe take her out of daycare, and just spend more one on one time with her. Try and find some way for him to deal with his stress, because kids can sense when their parents are stressed out pretty well. I'd give an example but i dont want to write a mile long thing here. lol.

Just give it time, I'm sure she will warm up to him again soon enough. :)

misstattoo91
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 1:49 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe he yelled at her or hurt her feelings
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Mommytorn
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 2:25 AM
I'm betting it the car accident..was he driving? My Bil put his car in the ditch when he had my DD one time and it still upsets her she doesn't want to talk to him anymore and she's always afraid of "falling of the road" is what she calls it when we are driving
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slayerslegacy
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 2:33 AM
5 moms liked this
Suggesting that he may have touched her inappropriately is hardly judging him. She offered a perfectly plausible theory. Whether or not you choose to consider it is completely up to you. Quite frankly, it is quite possible that it could have happened without you knowing it. Relax and don't freak out over people trying to help you.

Quoting amykysmom:

No way! I already addressed that in my post. I would like some advise but anyone who posts to me please be aware that this is a question to help me figure out a solution. It is not judgement day on my boyfriend. I mentioned in my post that he has never physically hurt my daughter. If he did he would be in jail. He certiainly wouldnt be living with us.

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NaniMami317
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 6:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Maybe it's the personality change. Kids won't approach someone who seem like their in a bad mood. Kids can sense things we can't. I think it's his personality change
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mypbandj
by Jen on Mar. 10, 2012 at 8:19 AM
2 moms liked this
I agree with this. I am sorry to say that for kids who are molested, the person who did it isn't going to be walking around with a "I'm a molester" sticker on their forehead. And of course the parent never would have imagined that person molesting their child in a million years.

SOMETHING is wrong. I can't tell you what it is. But I can tell you that I work in the field of child development and I can't think of any reason a child would just all of a sudden become adverse to a father figure at this age.

The truth is, he has been alone with her. And the number one most likely person to molest a child is the mothers boyfriend. So even though it's a horrible ugly thought, it is a possibility.


Quoting slayerslegacy:

Suggesting that he may have touched her inappropriately is hardly judging him. She offered a perfectly plausible theory. Whether or not you choose to consider it is completely up to you. Quite frankly, it is quite possible that it could have happened without you knowing it. Relax and don't freak out over people trying to help you.



Quoting amykysmom:

No way! I already addressed that in my post. I would like some advise but anyone who posts to me please be aware that this is a question to help me figure out a solution. It is not judgement day on my boyfriend. I mentioned in my post that he has never physically hurt my daughter. If he did he would be in jail. He certiainly wouldnt be living with us.

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mariesmama
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2012 at 8:25 AM

she may be scared because of the accident

ambemmons
by on Mar. 10, 2012 at 9:04 AM
1 mom liked this
This. sexual abuse was my first thought. No one is judging, but its something id look into more. You say his personality has also changed....you never know. If she doesnt feel comfortable with him, dont force her and dont leave her with him. Im sorry but something doesnt sound right. It makes it so much harder with her being so young. But please dont ignore this possibility. If he had touched her, he wont tell you.


Quoting mypbandj:

I agree with this. I am sorry to say that for kids who are molested, the person who did it isn't going to be walking around with a "I'm a molester" sticker on their forehead. And of course the parent never would have imagined that person molesting their child in a million years.



SOMETHING is wrong. I can't tell you what it is. But I can tell you that I work in the field of child development and I can't think of any reason a child would just all of a sudden become adverse to a father figure at this age.



The truth is, he has been alone with her. And the number one most likely person to molest a child is the mothers boyfriend. So even though it's a horrible ugly thought, it is a possibility.




Quoting slayerslegacy:

Suggesting that he may have touched her inappropriately is hardly judging him. She offered a perfectly plausible theory. Whether or not you choose to consider it is completely up to you. Quite frankly, it is quite possible that it could have happened without you knowing it. Relax and don't freak out over people trying to help you.





Quoting amykysmom:

No way! I already addressed that in my post. I would like some advise but anyone who posts to me please be aware that this is a question to help me figure out a solution. It is not judgement day on my boyfriend. I mentioned in my post that he has never physically hurt my daughter. If he did he would be in jail. He certiainly wouldnt be living with us.


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