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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

My child spits, hits, and pushes me...

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:05 AM
  • 21 Replies

Hello my name is Amanda and I am a stay at home mom. I have a toddler named Aubry. I have been having temperament problems with my daughter where she has started telling me to shut up, hit me, and spits when you tell her no or if she happens to be in a bad mood and cranky at the time. She just turned 3yrs old 3 weeks ago. One day I was at the store and she was just being horrible tempered. She was pulling things off the shelves, she was hitting me, pushing me, told me to shut up stupid and even bent her head down to bite my thumb as i was pushing the cart and screaming at me! Aubry doesn't always act like this but when she does it is embarrassing! It was all because she wanted a toy at the time and I told her no because it was almost $80. I said she could pick something else out if she was good the rest of the trip at the store but she wouldn't settle for that. She wanted that specific toy....well that is what started the tantrum...All throughout the store she was doing those awful things and screaming at the top of her lungs...I wanted to hide because people were staring at me, some laughing and I even heard a lady in front of me at the checkout say she acts like so and so's kid. Sometimes it gets hard, sometimes i want to cry, sometimes i get mad and like i said before sometimes i want to hide when she throws tantrums. Anyways it is our turn to checkout at the store and the cashier says to my daughter why are you being so aunry for your mommy and right then and there Aubry spit on the floor! The cashier said oh my! and I was sooooooooo embarrassed! I appologized and I was sad because this is my baby (my only child) acting like this! Sometimes she is really sweet with me and wants to cuddle and help me do things around the house and do dishes with me, etc but lately she has been acting out. Not just at home or at stores but EVERYWHERE. If it is just her and her dad she is fine but as soon as i show up or come into the picture its game on. I don't understand it? Did I do something wrong? Did she pick this up from someone (I dont know who)? Sometimes I feel as if she doesn't like me...sad to say I know but it gets hard sometimes when you are the only one she dose it to. I don't know what to do to get this all under control. Any suggestions or similar experiences? In need of help PLEASE!

by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Caligurl19
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:19 AM
I would avoid taking her anywhere if possible I wouldn't tolerate that
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aub_309
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:39 AM

Ive tried that. That doesn't work either. Shes a beautiful little girl and I cant believe she dose this. I dont have any help with her. My parents live a hour away, my boyfriend (her dad) works for 6am to 7pm doing fields and working at a tractor parts place and his parents don't want anything to do with her really my bf mom has been mean to her since she was born) so i dont even think about taking her there. I think to myself sometimes maybe she is around me too much? or maybe I need to take her to a behavioral counselor to find out why she acts this way towards me? I don't know.

 

Chelsey191
by Member on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:50 AM

Where would she learn to tell people to shut up? My kid is 3 and is oblivious to that phrase still. My kid does not listen in the store and he gets nothing. He can scream all day I dont care and he knows it. I never try to shush him because it only eggs him on but I find if I completely ignore it he gets over it after a few minutes.

aritoyh
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 2:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Honestly it sounds like a discipline problem. When she acts like that she needs to be reprimanded immediately. If you use time outs, than do it. My boys know that every place we go has a corner waiting for them if they act up.

aub_309
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 3:08 AM

Ive tried the ignoring her and thats when she started hitting and biting...it worked for a little while. Ive done time out and she repeatidly gets out over and over. Ive taken her favorite dress up outfit, her favorite toy away til shes good and calm and that does'nt work. I dont buy her things that she wants either so Im lost at what it is im doing wrong.

aub_309
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 3:09 AM

When she is good she is sweet and lovey but when she is bad she does the things that ive mentioned above.

aub_309
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 3:11 AM

As far as the shut up word I have not a clue on as to where she heard it. Ive tried getting to the bottom of that one.

big_red05
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 4:38 AM
She needs to know you are the boss and need to be respected.. Do time outs if you need or spank...it's controversial but my mom spanked me and I can tell you I never disrespected her the way your kid is.. You have to nip this in the butt now w solid consistent parenting.. Take toys away, don't let her watch tv whatever pick something and stick with it.. It might be hard the first couple days but eventually she should change her behavior good luck
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nena61978
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 5:38 AM
1 mom liked this
Lol she knows what she is doing and who to do it with. Believe me I have one child to and she knows how to manipulate and who not to. When my husband and I take Dahlila out she will pull her little tantrums with my mom she is the perfect child only a couple of times did she try it with my mom and my mother threw her crazy and ignored and called me and I had a talk with her over the phone. Dahlila is now five she wasn't as bad as your baby but she was getting there example today I went to get something to eat for my husband right after picking her up from School I asked her what she wanted she said chicken nuggets ...again. So while heading there I asked if she would prefer fajitas she said okay while on the drive to pick up the food she fell asleep. I picked up the food got home and she came into the house and started crying. Of course she won't tell me what is wrong I have to play the guessing game so after five guesses she was like nooooo I wanted chicken nuggets ugh! I was like I asked you and you said carnita was fine I had just sat down to eat and she refused to come to the table she started talking back and acting as if she was spitting and started throwing a box of papers I had on the couch she just flung it across the room. I just looked at her and said and you want me to go get chicken nuggets with that attitude no ma'Ma I will not get you any nuggets. I turned around and kept talking to my husband and ignored her crying not even five minutes later by herself she picked up the papers and box and put it back and came and apologized to me. believe at stores she tries that crying game also I look at her and tell her when I say no I said no and will walk away leaving her crying she will chase after me lol . We now have an agreement that it has to be less then 5.00 and once in a while not all the time we go run errands can I buy her a toy. Your daughter knows who she can control lol she knows you love her and spoil her they are extremely smart at her age. You are just going to at the moment she acts that was in public which I've done is drop everything and let's go. That would shut up mine quickly like wtf ? We going home ? I would get in the car start turning it on and she would start apologizing and I would have a talk with her she would behave the rest of the time but it is still a struggle with her .so I understand you it is your first baby and you will have many more tantrums all will be different. For some reason when I tell her that's it and start counting to three she gets hysterical and is like ok ok I'm doing it . I don't get why lol but it works and I don't question it .
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mom2MDS
by on Apr. 13, 2012 at 8:47 AM

Seems like you are having a problem disciplining. I tell you, spanking works, none of my children have ever acted like that after they received a good ass warming due to that kind of behaviour.

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