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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Few Issues with my 5 year old

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:45 PM
  • 11 Replies

Hi everyone, I just joined today and am hoping to get some advice on my 5 year old, Tyler.  He's lovely and sweet but he's also 5 and is kind of killing me right now.  We are having a few issues that I'm hoping someone will have gone thru as well.

1) He's been potty trained since he was 3 1/2 and over the last year he is going in phases of having poop accidents.  Not full accidents but just a little smear or nugget.  It seems to start with slight constipation because the poops are small.  Not super hard but not soft either.  However, he goes everyday so it's not severe constipation but sometimes he can go 4-6 times a day and just one little poop.  We do regular miralax but he's still having the accidents regularly.  The doc said it's something called Encopresis but I looked that up and none of the symptoms fit Tyler.  Others have suggested Milk Allergy but those symptoms don't seem to fit either.  I've tried going back to sticker charts and they work for a bit but aren't a deterrent to the behavior.  I'm totally at a loss as to what to do and I'm beyond sick of rinsing out poop smeared underwear.  I never even had to do this when he was training 2 years ago...  I should also add that he does seem to get some satisfaction for the attention it brings.  I don't scold him or shame him but we do discuss it.  He'll hang his head and say "I'm sorry, Mommy, I tried to hurry" but then the look on his face is like he's totally manipulating the situation.  I'm not concerned about lack of sensation or anything and really think he's doing it on purpose.  He definitely knows better. 

2)  He's begun the potty language.  Everything is pooping and farting, etc.  He's doing it all the time and is teaching the kids at school that too.  I have no idea where he picked it up because we do not speak like that in the house.  His teacher said that he's very mature for his age and "sharp as a tack" so he's thinking of certain things before a lot of the other kids in his class and then has discovered it makes him "popular" so even though it's negative attention from the teachers, his peers think he's great.  I ignore him at home when he says something about farts or butts, or whatever but the behavior continues.

He's a super great kid and not a problem from a discipline standpoint but it just seems like he's using all his positive attributes for negative behavior and I'm not sure how to address it.  I just feel like he's looked at as the "problem kid" although his teacher assures me that's not the case and that they behavior is typical but still unacceptable.  I agree but just don't know what else to do.

Sorry for the novel.  I would appreciate any advice anyone may have.  Thanks!!!

Beth (32) DH (37) Tyler (5) Bayley (2 1/2)

by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:45 PM
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STKsMomma
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:56 PM
Ok. First off welcome! Second as for the pooping.... Well my son did this all they way thru 1st grade. More cause it is a lack of attention on his part. Basically he didn't want to stop playing or whatever even though he knew he had to go! Don't punish too harshly for it but he needs some form of positive reinforcement.
Third. The potty mouth. Explain to him that this is unacceptable and if it continues he will be in trouble. When he does it again tell him this is your final warning if you speak like that again you will get ________. Then when he does it again give him the punishment that you decided on and told him. Be consistant!

And good luck!
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.Angelica.
by Angie on Apr. 17, 2012 at 1:56 PM

have you tried making him clean his underwear after he has an accident?

mmtosam06
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 2:00 PM
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 2:09 PM


Quoting .Angelica.:

have you tried making him clean his underwear after he has an accident?


Yes and it's one of those things where it's also sort of a punishment for me because if he gets poop everywhere, I can't let him use the sterilizers so I still have to do some of it anyway and if he doesn't clean his butt properly then the next pair is dirty...  I always just throw the underwear in the washing machine and rinse it with bleach and hot water and he can't do that. 

Beth (32) DH (37) Tyler (5) Bayley (2 1/2)

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 2:13 PM


Quoting STKsMomma:

Ok. First off welcome! Second as for the pooping.... Well my son did this all they way thru 1st grade. More cause it is a lack of attention on his part. Basically he didn't want to stop playing or whatever even though he knew he had to go! Don't punish too harshly for it but he needs some form of positive reinforcement.
Third. The potty mouth. Explain to him that this is unacceptable and if it continues he will be in trouble. When he does it again tell him this is your final warning if you speak like that again you will get ________. Then when he does it again give him the punishment that you decided on and told him. Be consistant!

And good luck!


Thanks!  I feel better knowing other people have gone thru this.  No one I know has and can't give me any advice.  The biggest issue with Tyler is that his currency is totally fluid.  1 day the chart totally works because he's earning stickers toward a treat but then if he doesn't get the sticker he couldn't care less.  He'll just say "well, I'll get one next time".  He loves seeing me hoop and holler when he doesn't have an accident but even that doesn't motivate him.  I do notice that there are a ton of instances where he just waits too long or just doesn't stop all together but I was surprised that he's doing that 2 years after training.  I thought that was more of an issue for kids just learning.

Beth (32) DH (37) Tyler (5) Bayley (2 1/2)

STKsMomma
by on Apr. 17, 2012 at 2:44 PM
Nope my son was completely potty trained by 3 and he was 7 I think when it stopped. But even now he is almost ten and you will see him run for the bathroom cause he waited almost to long!
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Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Apr. 17, 2012 at 5:37 PM

When your son had his accidents, how did you handle it?  Did you clean him up or make him do it?

hismommy2010
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 6:09 PM

 My son is a little over 2 years old. He too has been on miralax since abour 7 months old... The smears you mention do sound like constipation. The way my doc explained it to me, is that miralax does work to get the constipation out, but if you aren't drinking enough water, then it can actually constipate more.

 

They did xrays on my son, to see how  constipated he was, because he too was going everyday, but they were hard and small balls. The xrays showed that he was so constipated that his large intestine was expaned with backedup poop, and it was kind of being milked along the way, there was so much that the muscle couldn't contract naturally to allow him to pool like he should.

He still takes the miralax, we have tried a few times to wean him off the miralax, but then always have to go back on it.

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Apr. 18, 2012 at 6:13 PM


Quoting hismommy2010:

 My son is a little over 2 years old. He too has been on miralax since abour 7 months old... The smears you mention do sound like constipation. The way my doc explained it to me, is that miralax does work to get the constipation out, but if you aren't drinking enough water, then it can actually constipate more.

 

They did xrays on my son, to see how  constipated he was, because he too was going everyday, but they were hard and small balls. The xrays showed that he was so constipated that his large intestine was expaned with backedup poop, and it was kind of being milked along the way, there was so much that the muscle couldn't contract naturally to allow him to pool like he should.

He still takes the miralax, we have tried a few times to wean him off the miralax, but then always have to go back on it.

so did they do anything to clear him out?  he's already had 3 accidents today and i'm about ready to scream or cry.  i just don't know how to handle this and i can't take anymore...

Beth (32) DH (37) Tyler (5) Bayley (2 1/2)

hismommy2010
by on Apr. 18, 2012 at 6:19 PM

 

The PED had us be "agressive" ( as he put it) with the miralax for 2 weeks. Giving our son a full dose of miralax every morning. And also a liquid glcyeran suppository in the evening  ( usually i would do that right before a bath).. The PED said the miralax would get the constipation out from the top of the bowells, and the suppository would get it out from the bottom...

After that 2 weeks, they did another xray to see how much had came out, and he was still backed up, but not nearly as he was...

We are now in the process of weaning him off the miralax again, we are down to a half dose a day, after a couple weeks of that, we will go to a quarter of a does then ect...

The PED told us, that some kids end up being on the miralax for a few years. We make sure my son gets water and fruits ect... But there is no real known reason why he gets constipated so easily...

The PED said that some kids purposely hold in the bowell movements, because they may have had one at one time that hurt and now they are scared that it will hurt again...

Me and my husband now get VERY EXCITED when our son goes poopy! We dance and praise him, because we want him to know it's a GOOD thing and to encourage him to do it, so we can wean off the miralax

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