Hi everyone, I just joined today and am hoping to get some advice on my 5 year old, Tyler. He's lovely and sweet but he's also 5 and is kind of killing me right now. We are having a few issues that I'm hoping someone will have gone thru as well.
1) He's been potty trained since he was 3 1/2 and over the last year he is going in phases of having poop accidents. Not full accidents but just a little smear or nugget. It seems to start with slight constipation because the poops are small. Not super hard but not soft either. However, he goes everyday so it's not severe constipation but sometimes he can go 4-6 times a day and just one little poop. We do regular miralax but he's still having the accidents regularly. The doc said it's something called Encopresis but I looked that up and none of the symptoms fit Tyler. Others have suggested Milk Allergy but those symptoms don't seem to fit either. I've tried going back to sticker charts and they work for a bit but aren't a deterrent to the behavior. I'm totally at a loss as to what to do and I'm beyond sick of rinsing out poop smeared underwear. I never even had to do this when he was training 2 years ago... I should also add that he does seem to get some satisfaction for the attention it brings. I don't scold him or shame him but we do discuss it. He'll hang his head and say "I'm sorry, Mommy, I tried to hurry" but then the look on his face is like he's totally manipulating the situation. I'm not concerned about lack of sensation or anything and really think he's doing it on purpose. He definitely knows better.
2) He's begun the potty language. Everything is pooping and farting, etc. He's doing it all the time and is teaching the kids at school that too. I have no idea where he picked it up because we do not speak like that in the house. His teacher said that he's very mature for his age and "sharp as a tack" so he's thinking of certain things before a lot of the other kids in his class and then has discovered it makes him "popular" so even though it's negative attention from the teachers, his peers think he's great. I ignore him at home when he says something about farts or butts, or whatever but the behavior continues.
He's a super great kid and not a problem from a discipline standpoint but it just seems like he's using all his positive attributes for negative behavior and I'm not sure how to address it. I just feel like he's looked at as the "problem kid" although his teacher assures me that's not the case and that they behavior is typical but still unacceptable. I agree but just don't know what else to do.
Sorry for the novel. I would appreciate any advice anyone may have. Thanks!!!
Beth (32) DH (37) Tyler (5) Bayley (2 1/2)