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This whining has got to stop!

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:39 AM
  • 8 Replies

 I have a 3 1/2 year old ds. For pretty much the last year, he whines about EVERYTHING! He won't even ask for a drink without a consistant whine in his tone. You ask him to do something, or stop doing something, and let the whining begin. Each time, I get to his level, tell him "when you can ask me without whining, and using words, I will get you _____" or if he is whining over asking to do something/not do something, I again get to his level, and explain that I don't understand whining, I would appreciate words, not whining, and the whining gets worse. He breaks down into sobs when I ask him to stop whining, so at this point, I take him to the couch to settle down, and ask him to stay sitting, calm down, and come talk to me using words, when he is done whining and crying. It just seems as if the whining and crying gets worse, not better. And no, I am not exaggerating when I say he whines about everything, I wish I was, but I am not. "ds its time to get dressed" "nooooooo mommy I don't want to (note whine)" "ds can you help mommy pick up your toys?" "no mommy, I don't want to (note whine)" He asks for something "ds we can't go outside right now (for whatever reason) after that, then we may go outside" (ds begins jumping up and down, head thrown back, crying and whining) "no no no no mommy I want to go outside!" begin more whining and more crying.

Does anyone else have a child that whines this much? I feel like this whining is never going to break, as I stated, it has been going on pretty much since he could really talk. Is there something wrong with my technique?

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 11:39 AM
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:00 PM
My elder son did it frequently and I finally got to the point the I wouldn't look at him I would just say " I think you want to tell me something but I can't hear you. It hurts my ears. Find a softer way to speak and I can answer you." I said this over and over until it finally took.
by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:02 PM

 No, nothing wrong with you or your technique! It just seems to be the age. YDD is a whiner(actully, the only one of my 3 to ever really whine, so this was new to me). It drove me nuts! Every day, about everything/anything. It's been going on about a yr & I thought it would NEVER stop! I tried getting down on her level, telling her I would talk/listen to her when she could talk w/o whining, even explained to her what whining was(in case she didn't realize what she was doing)-nothing worked! Well, I was sitting here talking to her the other day, & it just hit me that she hadn't "whined" at me in over 2 wks! She will be 4 in May, so there is light at the end of the tunnel. I guess she just had to grow out of it herself. I've heard other mommies of this age range complain about it, too, so it's apparantly normal. GL!

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:06 PM
My almost 5 yr old ds is the exact same way. But he is also high functioning autistic. Regardless it is very frustrating to constantly hear. *hugs* mama. I feel ya!
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:09 PM
My 2 year old is extremely winey about everything and she also screams and cries over everything. I do what you do and it also isn't working.
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:10 PM

 Lol well, this gives me some hope then, that I'm not the only one lol. I would rather listen to full blown out tantrumns over this whining. It is frustrating to say the least. I will just keep up with my technique, keep my fingers crossed, that this phase is almost over, hopefully, maybe?

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:12 PM
My DD is 3 1/2 too and whines constantly. Wish I had ideas for you but I'm in the same boat. Hang in there!!
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by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 12:56 PM

One of my boys is a whiner. It started around age 3, and he's 9 now... It's just how he is. Out of three children he's my only one. I just have to be firm with him, and tell him that isn't how you get what you want so if you just whine about it nothing is gonna change. He complains that other kids call him a cry baby sometimes, and I have to flat out tell him it's because he whines over stupid things that he can solve in other ways. It's harsh, but being straight forward is all that works with him. Of course I did not say that to him when he was a toddler, but he is old enough now to know there are other ways to get better results.

by on Apr. 19, 2012 at 3:01 PM

Dd did this as well at the same age.  I despise this age lol.  You are doing a great job, he will understand and catch on I know it's hard- if you're like me the sound of whining instantly makes me mad lol.  I can't stand it at all!  But I did the same thing or I would say okay can you ask me without whining this time.  And she would repeat it without whining.  The first time I said that to her she goes... "  Can I have a banana without whining.."  Ha ha made me laugh :)

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