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what would you do? (park incident) ***more added***

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Today I met up with some friends of mine at a park.  We have never been to the park and my son was having a BLAST.  My son is 3.  The park has a giant sand pit and a huge hill to climb up.  Kids were burying each other, sand was being thrown, and they were just being kids..........so anyways my son was doing all of these things too.  He is a typical 3 year old boy (although he has a slight speech delay).  I will admit he is kind of a flirt and will tease girls around him.  Well he was getting into the throwing sand with the other kids.............not being mean...........just having fun.  I was talking to my friends when I noticed this lady.  She stormed into the sand pit and grabbed my sons arm.  She was pointing her finger right in his face and yelling.  So I stormed over and told her to back off.  She then went off about how my son threw sand at her daughter.  I told her that she could talk to me and not to touch my son.  That other kids were throwing sand too.  So anyways I took my son and we left the park. He was devastated..........but the lady was overstepping and wasn't about to stop.  Needless to say I was upset and my son was upset. I should add when other kids are mean to my son at a park I typically move him to another place or go and play with him............if I do not know the other kid I do not feel like it is my place to 'punish' that child.  I would never do what this lady did to my son

How would you have handled this?


***Wow some of you ladies really were attacking and mean.  I came on to ask how you would handle it not be attacked.  There were several who asked why I let my son throw sand.........I never let him.........he had been corrected twice before and he hadn't been throwing it (we go to 3 and then he is removed).  When I say throwing it it was not in each others eyes.............it was on each others feet...........when I said burying it was burying their legs.  Sand will not damage a child's eye if it isn't thrown anywhere near their face........this little girl did not get sand in her eyes.  Thank you ladies who understood that my son is a typical 3 year old.  I was not slacking on being a parent.  It happened.  Things happen with kids..........its a park for goodness sakes.  A lot of things can happen at a park.  I am really shocked by the rudeness of some of the responses and found it very offensive how I was treated when I was just asking as simple question about how you would have handled the mother.  

by on May. 2, 2012 at 4:13 PM
Replies (11-20):
Linz0522
by on May. 2, 2012 at 5:23 PM


Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

I saw this exact situation at a friend's bday party in Feb!!  The party was a mix of friends and a preschool mom laid into some family friend's kid for being rough.  it's a long story but almost exactly like what you described.  the family that got yelled at left because the child was so upset and i didn't blame them.  the lady that yelled got stink eye for the rest of the party.  it was terrible.  if the parent/caretaker is in the vacinity you don't ever address issues with a child UNLESS it's a dangerous situation and you have to take immediate action.  i would have done what you did.  i hope your son is okay.  how scary for a child to have a complete stranger looming in their face screaming at them.

I completely agree.  A few months back I posted in this group about my son being traumatized at church by some other parents attempted to 'punish' him.  He would have panic attacks about Church and regressed to peeing his pants........I think situations can be traumatizing.  THis stranger coming up to him could set him off.  THank goodness I stopped it and talked with him about it.  I told him that it was not okay for her to grab him..............and that it was not okay for him to throw sand.  

JillCA
by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:35 PM
2 moms liked this

I wouldn't have touched another child. If I was in the sand first and noticed sand throwing, I would have told all the kids to stop as there were young kids around.

If I went to the sand with the sand throwing going on, I would have moved my child. I would be looking around for other parents to see what was going on.

Or I would have simply moved my child. I never would have touched another child.

I would be totally pissed if a stranger touched my child.


erinsmom1964
by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:49 PM

So its a habit that your child invokes other adults to speak to him even though your right there?  STRANGE

Quoting Linz0522:

Wow.  I never said I let my son throw sand.  I did stop him several times and he wasn't throw sand up until that moment.  THe older kids in the sand pit were.  I should mention that my son has never played at this park or a sand pit..............he was following the older kids around.  If that lady would have talked to me I would not have been pissed actually I would have appreciated it.  Instead my son has to be freaked out by this rude lady.  That is what pisses me off.  I talked to my son after we left and explained that he can not throw sand anymore.  I am not just sitting around letting my kid run wild.  I did stop him............my son wasn't the only child throwing sand.  He is a 3 year old boy and I do parent him and I am strict with him but I can not stop every little thing.  I disagree with you I think a parent should never address a child like that..........talk to the parent.  My son was traumatized a few months ago with an incident at church were parents 'disciplined him' for who knows what and he is just getting back to normal............after months.........so I disagree that random parents should respond to a 3 year old child that way!

Quoting mypbandj:

I wouldn't have been letting my kid throw sand. That's just not ok - especially if there are other kids around. I agree that the lady should never have touched your child but if I were at the park and your kid was throwing sand and you were just sitting there, I would say something to your kid if his behavior effected my child (if he was throwing sand at my kid). I wouldn't have been mean or touched him but I would say something! I think that mom is equally as irritated at you for letting your kid throw sand. And let's be honest, if she did come up to you and said tell your kid to stop, you would have been pissed at her anyway.



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by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 3 yr olds throw sand. you're in a sandbox for goodness sake, it's a given. put the 3 yr old in snow and he'll throw a snow ball.

Osstie
by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:55 PM

this is what I was thinking too.

Quoting erinsmom1964:

So its a habit that your child invokes other adults to speak to him even though your right there?  STRANGE

Quoting Linz0522:

Wow.  I never said I let my son throw sand.  I did stop him several times and he wasn't throw sand up until that moment.  THe older kids in the sand pit were.  I should mention that my son has never played at this park or a sand pit..............he was following the older kids around.  If that lady would have talked to me I would not have been pissed actually I would have appreciated it.  Instead my son has to be freaked out by this rude lady.  That is what pisses me off.  I talked to my son after we left and explained that he can not throw sand anymore.  I am not just sitting around letting my kid run wild.  I did stop him............my son wasn't the only child throwing sand.  He is a 3 year old boy and I do parent him and I am strict with him but I can not stop every little thing.  I disagree with you I think a parent should never address a child like that..........talk to the parent.  My son was traumatized a few months ago with an incident at church were parents 'disciplined him' for who knows what and he is just getting back to normal............after months.........so I disagree that random parents should respond to a 3 year old child that way!

Quoting mypbandj:

I wouldn't have been letting my kid throw sand. That's just not ok - especially if there are other kids around. I agree that the lady should never have touched your child but if I were at the park and your kid was throwing sand and you were just sitting there, I would say something to your kid if his behavior effected my child (if he was throwing sand at my kid). I wouldn't have been mean or touched him but I would say something! I think that mom is equally as irritated at you for letting your kid throw sand. And let's be honest, if she did come up to you and said tell your kid to stop, you would have been pissed at her anyway.




Linz0522
by on May. 2, 2012 at 6:59 PM
Are you freaking kidding me. My son was traumatized and bullied along with other children in the nursery. That was low. He is not a bad kid. How can you put blame on a 3 year old boy the blame of idiotic adults. What happened at the church was not his fault and it was reported. Oh and I wasn't there in the room with the church it was in the nursery. br />
Quoting Osstie:

this is what I was thinking too.


Quoting erinsmom1964:

So its a habit that your child invokes other adults to speak to him even though your right there?  STRANGE

Quoting Linz0522:

Wow.  I never said I let my son throw sand.  I did stop him several times and he wasn't throw sand up until that moment.  THe older kids in the sand pit were.  I should mention that my son has never played at this park or a sand pit..............he was following the older kids around.  If that lady would have talked to me I would not have been pissed actually I would have appreciated it.  Instead my son has to be freaked out by this rude lady.  That is what pisses me off.  I talked to my son after we left and explained that he can not throw sand anymore.  I am not just sitting around letting my kid run wild.  I did stop him............my son wasn't the only child throwing sand.  He is a 3 year old boy and I do parent him and I am strict with him but I can not stop every little thing.  I disagree with you I think a parent should never address a child like that..........talk to the parent.  My son was traumatized a few months ago with an incident at church were parents 'disciplined him' for who knows what and he is just getting back to normal............after months.........so I disagree that random parents should respond to a 3 year old child that way!


Quoting mypbandj:

I wouldn't have been letting my kid throw sand. That's just not ok - especially if there are other kids around. I agree that the lady should never have touched your child but if I were at the park and your kid was throwing sand and you were just sitting there, I would say something to your kid if his behavior effected my child (if he was throwing sand at my kid). I wouldn't have been mean or touched him but I would say something! I think that mom is equally as irritated at you for letting your kid throw sand. And let's be honest, if she did come up to you and said tell your kid to stop, you would have been pissed at her anyway.






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Osstie
by on May. 2, 2012 at 7:03 PM

Nobody blamed the kid... we were clearly blaming the parent. Sorry didn't know you weren't there at the church incident. That's different.

Quoting Linz0522:

Are you freaking kidding me. My son was traumatized and bullied along with other children in the nursery. That was low. He is not a bad kid. How can you put blame on a 3 year old boy the blame of idiotic adults. What happened at the church was not his fault and it was reported. Oh and I wasn't there in the room with the church it was in the nursery. br />
Quoting Osstie:

this is what I was thinking too.


Quoting erinsmom1964:

So its a habit that your child invokes other adults to speak to him even though your right there?  STRANGE


Linz0522
by on May. 2, 2012 at 7:08 PM
So you blame me for a bunch of kids throwing sand? Even though I asked my son to stop the two times he did it before this? I was watching and I was parenting him. The lady knew where I was and I was going to come and talk to him again. He is 3 and he will do things even when told not to. When I posted this I was more asking how you would handle a parent yelling at your child......not to be attacked and implied I was just not paying attention.....when I say friends it was a play date....so we are all moms and had kids there and all of us were telling kids to not throw sand.....and all of us were shocked by this lady


Quoting Osstie:

Nobody blamed the kid... we were clearly blaming the parent. Sorry didn't know you weren't there at the church incident. That's different.


Quoting Linz0522:

Are you freaking kidding me. My son was traumatized and bullied along with other children in the nursery. That was low. He is not a bad kid. How can you put blame on a 3 year old boy the blame of idiotic adults. What happened at the church was not his fault and it was reported. Oh and I wasn't there in the room with the church it was in the nursery. br />

Quoting Osstie:

this is what I was thinking too.


Quoting erinsmom1964:

So its a habit that your child invokes other adults to speak to him even though your right there?  STRANGE




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j.mom.07
by on May. 2, 2012 at 7:17 PM

if a kid threw sand at my kids, i would in a nice voice tell all the kids (my kids and theother child/ren) that throwing sand might be fun, but it is not nice, because someone could get hurt. and we dont want to have sand in our eyes.  I would not yell at someone elses kid... i would warn my kids that if they keep throwing sand they wouldnt be allowed to play in the sand anymore. if my kids continued, i would tell them it is not ok, and then take them away from the sand.

if someone yelled at or touched my kids for throwing sand, i would have definitely had words with them,and then leave, or possibly press charges... and seeing as usually my dh is at the park with us... well i dont know what woud happen but omg he would flip!  

it is never ok for anyone to lay hands on a child that isnt their own unless they have permission.

i think though your child was upset, you probably did the best thing by leaving... especially if she wouldnt just let it go.

LucyHarper
by on May. 2, 2012 at 7:57 PM

If the other kids were jumping off a bridge, would you let your child? I'm all for playing and being kids, but throwing sand is dangerous, it can get in the eyes and causes scratchs to the corneas and infection, and mean, he never should have been throwing sand at the other kids in the first place and if you parented his misbehavior, you wouldn't have to worry about other parents trying to parent him for you. At our playground and local beach, you throw sand, you get kicked out no questions asked. She should not have physically grabbed your child, but she had every right to stand up for her daughter, she probably acted in a spur of the moment to get him to stop quickly, not wanting to take the risk of going to find you to handle it while he continued. You both acted immaturely, she shouldn't have grabbed and screamed at him, you shouldn't have sat there and watched while your child threw sand in other childrens faces. I would have had a word with her about touching others, but I also would never allow my child to throw sand.

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