Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Don't say: "Act your age!"

Posted by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:05 PM
Jen
  • 6 Replies

This is from an article: 5 Things Parents Shouldn't Say to Say to Their Kids



Your daughter is seven years old but you think she's acting like she's three...and you tell her so. Pincus says this common reaction is less about the child's behavior and all about the parent trying to manage his or her own frustration. The child may, in fact, be acting their age. "It's just not working out for the parent," she says. "It makes us feel better in the moment." The result? Kids hear their parents criticizing them at a time when they, as children, are having trouble and perhaps need some help gaining control.

Try this: Says Pincus, "When you are stirred up, just take that pause. Come up with an effective response instead of a reaction. Most of what we do is a knee-jerk reaction. That pause helps to get that adrenaline down so you can get the thinking part of your brain working instead of the emotional part of the brain." 

Do you agree? 

by on May. 2, 2012 at 10:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-6):
bhwrn1
by on May. 3, 2012 at 5:45 AM

I try my hardest not to say things like this b/c I feel like it will make my child sad.

Between2Rams
by on May. 3, 2012 at 8:41 AM

I try not to.  It's something I have to remind my husband of, also.  He'll say something like "Stop whining like a little kid" to our 6yo and I'll have to tell him: Hello?!  He *is* a little kid

mypbandj
by Jen on May. 3, 2012 at 2:34 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband too. Especially when my two oldest kids were little. He started to be harder on the older one - b/c he was four and the baby was one. 

Yes, a four year old is older....but they are still just four years old. 

Quoting Between2Rams:

I try not to.  It's something I have to remind my husband of, also.  He'll say something like "Stop whining like a little kid" to our 6yo and I'll have to tell him: Hello?!  He *is* a little kid


kattu
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:37 PM
I feel like I'm constantly telling my husband this as well. *face palm*


Quoting Between2Rams:

I try not to.  It's something I have to remind my husband of, also.  He'll say something like "Stop whining like a little kid" to our 6yo and I'll have to tell him: Hello?!  He *is* a little kid


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
babowes
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Exactly!!!


Quoting Between2Rams:

I try not to.  It's something I have to remind my husband of, also.  He'll say something like "Stop whining like a little kid" to our 6yo and I'll have to tell him: Hello?!  He *is* a little kid


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TTC2Long
by on May. 3, 2012 at 2:45 PM
I identify with this one:
"I don't care." Little kids love to share details...of their playground conversations with friends, of the cloud formation they think looks like a sea serpent, of why they squeezed an entire tube of toothpaste into the bathtub. And sometimes? Parents just don't want to hear the specifics. But beware of saying "I don't care!" because you're cutting off communication with your child and saying that something important to him or her isn't so important to you. "Most parents have a difficult time once children reach the adolescent stages and complain that their teens are not communicative with them. Well, the question must be asked then, 'How has the parent-child communication been nurtured throughout the child's life?'" says Melinda Garcia, a licensed clinical social worker with ESCAPE Family Resource Center in Houston. "The process of parent-child communication must evolve positively over the years. There's an unspoken trust that occurs when communication is nurtured." Try this: Garcia recommends that parents let the child know an issue can be discussed later, perhaps at a better time when the parent is more focused. She stresses, however, that parents must follow through. "Don't let the day end without addressing your child's need to share with you."

My parents said that a LOT when I was a kid, mostly in regard to arguments between my brother and I. It really did make me feel disrespected, my feelings unimportant, powerless and full of impotent rage. I get mad now just thinking about it. They also did very little to foster a positive relationship between my brother and I.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN