Advice Needed: How do I spank my 4 year old

I have 6 kids. The oldest is almost 17 and the youngest is 3 years old. Time outs have always worked well for me at this age. being extremely consistant is VERY important. 4 is a tough age. Like the terrible twos, but smarter, bigger and with more experience. Kids don't like to sit in one spot for long. 4 minutes is an eternity for a 4 year old. Good luck.

Save it for repeated offenses, disrespect or dangerous actions.

Personally I think spanking is a terrible idea.  Discipline is about teaching and hitting doesn't teach anything except fear of being hit.  They don't comply because they've learned a behavior is wrong, they comply cuz they are scared of you.  Parenting effectively is about hard work.  Timeouts are not cures for unwanted behavior.  Kids have little impulse control and need to be taught by repetition what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  I just think hitting is the easy way out from actually parenting.  I know I might get reamed for that statement but it's just my opinion.  I should also note that I have spanked my son (maybe 3 or 4 times) during a long period of extreme disobedience when I felt out of options and it didn't do a damn thing.  It just made him scared of me.  I don't ever want to see my child scared of me again...

Yes

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

Personally I think spanking is a terrible idea.  Discipline is about teaching and hitting doesn't teach anything except fear of being hit.  They don't comply because they've learned a behavior is wrong, they comply cuz they are scared of you.  Parenting effectively is about hard work.  Timeouts are not cures for unwanted behavior.  Kids have little impulse control and need to be taught by repetition what is acceptable behavior and what is not.  I just think hitting is the easy way out from actually parenting.  I know I might get reamed for that statement but it's just my opinion.  I should also note that I have spanked my son (maybe 3 or 4 times) during a long period of extreme disobedience when I felt out of options and it didn't do a damn thing.  It just made him scared of me.  I don't ever want to see my child scared of me again...

We don't spank very often, only when we have tried everything else and it doesn't seem to have an effect. Some other things that we use are taking a favorite toy away for a certain amount of time, not being able to go play outside with his brother and friends, or going to bed early.

When we do spank, we lay him across our lap and then spank. Before we spank we tell him why he's getting spanked and that we love him but he's got to learn. When finished, we again tell him we love him and then send him to his room for a little while to think about his "crime."

You could also try reading the book 1-2-3 Magic. That helped us a lot. HTH

i make my DD stand with her head and toes against a blank wall with her hands at her side. Each time she plays with the wall or sits her time starts again. I did the same thing with my DS and it really helped him to realize mommy is in charge. We do spank the kids when they have toys in their mouth or if they throw things at each other then we make them appologize for hurting the other one. My DD is the only one who has walked up to me knowing she is going to get spanked and covered her butt. However when they are being good neither kid has ever feared me. Even when my DD is on the floor having a hissy fit she knows I'm not going to hit her but she will be standing in time-out.

Here is the American College of Pediatricians' Guidelines for Parental Use of Disciplinary Spanking. They're not as widely referred as American Academy of Pediatrics because they're of a different school of thought, so to speak.

Hope this helps!

i don't spank mine unless he's a danger to others or himself. if he hurts the animals then i make him sit on his bed. after he gets up and if he does it again i will spank. i give one warning.  lately his attitude has been totally unbearable. talking back not listening. i take away his activities at daycare. if he acts up he doesn't get to participate and watch all his friends have the fun and he sits out. that may sound cruel but hey what else does he have to lose???  he knows that if he misbehaves he doesn't get to enjoy activities.

and what exactly is "adequately punished"?  is it just crying? red butt? screaming? begging? absolutely terrified of you?  when is enough, enough?  i'm sorry, this is just terrible...

Quoting Momsister:

4 year year old girls respond well to going over the lap with panties down. Bottom slapped with the hand until she has been adequately punished.

 

 

A tap on the ass isn't going to hurt her.