Advice Needed: How do I spank my 4 year old

While I agree with you that SOME kids today are overindulged and beyond rude but they don't have to be hit to change that.  They need to be parented, period.  Those kids aren't being parented in any way and if you are suggesting that hitting your child is the only way to teach them respect then I just have to disagree.  I don't hit my kids and they don't ever speak to me, let alone another adult disrespectfully.  When they do forget a "please" or "thank you" or something similar all I have to do is calmly say "try again" and they quickly rephrae their question/statement.  I just truly believe that people who say they respected their parents for being spanked may not have the same definition of "respect" that I have.  Again, JMO.

Quoting big_red05:

I was spanked usuly 4-5 times on my bare butt w a wooden spoon.... I did not fear my mother.. But I did respect her and the rules.. The way kids talk and treat their parents now a days makes me sick!

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

and what exactly is "adequately punished"?  is it just crying? red butt? screaming? begging? absolutely terrified of you?  when is enough, enough?  i'm sorry, this is just terrible...

Quoting Momsister:

4 year year old girls respond well to going over the lap with panties down. Bottom slapped with the hand until she has been adequately punished.

 

 

 

*PUKE*

Quoting Momsister:

4 year year old girls respond well to going over the lap with panties down. Bottom slapped with the hand until she has been adequately punished.

I wish my mom had spanked me as a child... she beat the shit out of me. I didn't fear my mom unless I was in trouble . I respected her

For me I save spanking for things that could be dangerous or for something they have done really excessively over and over and over. I just swat them on their bottom or their handif and when it comes to that. But as for the time outs and taking things aways you just have to keep being consistant and keep at it. It usually takes a long time for a kid to quit doing something, even though they might know what they are doing is wrong. They wll test and test to see if there might be just one time they can get away with it.

WTF???

Quoting Momsister:

4 year year old girls respond well to going over the lap with panties down. Bottom slapped with the hand until she has been adequately punished.

I would be trying to figure out WHY she's "misbehaving", not looking for advice on "how to spank". Is she frustrated with something? Is something going on in the house or with sibling, between you and DH that be causing the behavior? Is she testing boundaries and just needs more consistency? There are multiple reasons why she could be acting out. Personally I don't know how you can take a child, bare bottomed and slap them until they are red or cry. Its unimaginable to me and I could never do it. We spend so much time trying to teach kids to "be nice" and "hitting is not nice" then you punish by putting them over your knee and hitting them! It just doesn't make any kind of sense.

 My son's therapist told me that more than one firm calm spank on the clothed bottom was abuse. 

 4 is a very tough age. It was for both of my children. They become so independent and want to test the waters all the time.

Pull her pants down and pop her butt. She won't hae u forever. She might be a little upset but it will help. And designate a wooden spoon as a spanking spoon and any time she misbehaves show her that and say this will be on ur butt if u don't stop. Worked wonders with my son. It stings but not enough to really hurt or leave a mark.

Time outs and removal of key items are typically highly effective when done consistently in a logical, methodical way that tie the event to the consequence.  Follow through and consistency are importan too.

Maybe check out some local disclipline/parenting classes in your area. There are an array of options other than the ones you mentioned.

In  many states striking a child with an object for punishment is considered grounds for a call to the CPS hotline by mandated reporters.  Just saying...

Quoting sadiebug1228:

Pull her pants down and pop her butt. She won't hae u forever. She might be a little upset but it will help. And designate a wooden spoon as a spanking spoon and any time she misbehaves show her that and say this will be on ur butt if u don't stop. Worked wonders with my son. It stings but not enough to really hurt or leave a mark.