Potty HelP Please!!

The fact that she won't sit on the potty tells you she's not quite ready.  Awareness is a step in the process but if she won't actually go potty on the toilet she's not all the way there yet.  Potty training is 100% in her hands and she has to lead the way.  She's not initiating that so if it were me I would back off a little and see what happens.

When a child is truly ready to potty train the process will be quick and painless. 

Oh, I also want to add, lose the diapers.  If you honestly think she's on the verge of training, no diapers or pull-ups for 1 week (except for sleeping).  Take her (don't ask her) every 30 mins or so and if she fights you, back off and don't push her.  If she sits willingly, good start!  Be prepared to clean up a lot of accidents.  IF after 7 full days in underwear/naked, she's not made any progress she's really not ready and you should give her another month or 2.

Are you using the potty ring on the toilet or a potty seat? We are training right now and she refuses to use the toilet but will use the little potty.

I think you have to first recogonize that this has to be her idea. She may be getting the vibe from you that you really, really, really want her to do this....and at this stage of development, where everything is "do it myself" that might be all she needs to decide that she isn't going to do it - regardless of wheter she is promised a sticker or big surprise.

If it were me, I would take a break. Just stop. Don't talk about it. don't bring it up.

Then, in about a week or so...start to introduce things like books on going potty. And dvds. and dolls that potty. Have them laying around the house and don't force the idea. Just be very gentle w/ it. (remember, the goal here is get her to think this is HER idea - which in fact, it has to be).

Let that go on for another week. You can tell her things like: I have to go to the bathroom. But don't degrade her or put her down by saying things like: I wish you would use the potty too. Don't say that. Just leave her alone.

Then, once you have a period of time in your life where you don't have to go anywhere and there are no big life changes (starting new school or job, new baby, etc) gather up as many panties as you can get. Put them in a big basket (or somewhere so they are easily accessable to her). Then get a plastic lined hamper (a small lidded trash can works too).

You can start to tell her things like, you are starting to run out of diapers. What should we do? (if she answers w/ things like: buy more!) I would just ignore that. Then I'd start talking about how she is a BIG girl. (still not mentioning the potty).

Then, when the diapers are gone, put her in the panties. (rubber pants that go over cloth diapers are helpful when you are out and about - it contains the mess). When she has an accident, treat it as if she just accidently spilled her m&ms and is sad. Just don't get mad. Just be matter of fact. She isn't in trouble. Its just an ACCIDENT.

But......SHE is in charge. So guess who gets to clean it up? Her. Just don't forget - there is NO discipline or punishment here. No belittling. You are neutral. To you...it's spilled m&ms. Not a big deal.

So you let her take off the wet panties. You let her put them in the hamper. You let her get in the bath and clean herself. You let her drain the tub. You let her dry herself. You let her get dressed again.

But you DON'T get mad at her.

She is going to quickly learn that going on the toilet is much easier than all that work. She probably won't get it in a day. Or even a week. But she will get it. You just have to remain neutral or else this method will NOT work.

It's hard when one of the big issues is they are not comfortable on it. Tell her she doesn't have to go in it right now,but let her sit on it fully clothed and look at some special new books she picks out...but she can only look at them while sitting on the potty. Then maybe got to a shirt and diaper another day then just a shirt but no pressure to go, just sit and look at the 'potty books.' ...after drinking a big glass of juice :) Good luck!

I didnt belive any of this but my oh my is it the truth!!! I fought with my dd and finally gave up, tried again fought again gave up again. The third time my daughter was ready and was potty trained in 2 days. She did it all herself. I started taking her every 30 min and she caught on. It was so easy I couldnt belive it. No candy, no toys, no stickers. We did do a potty dance. When she was finally ready it was unbelieveable how easy it was. The day I started the last try was the last day she wore diapers. Good luck momma and dont give up.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

The fact that she won't sit on the potty tells you she's not quite ready.  Awareness is a step in the process but if she won't actually go potty on the toilet she's not all the way there yet.  Potty training is 100% in her hands and she has to lead the way.  She's not initiating that so if it were me I would back off a little and see what happens.

When a child is truly ready to potty train the process will be quick and painless. 

Oh, I also want to add, lose the diapers.  If you honestly think she's on the verge of training, no diapers or pull-ups for 1 week (except for sleeping).  Take her (don't ask her) every 30 mins or so and if she fights you, back off and don't push her.  If she sits willingly, good start!  Be prepared to clean up a lot of accidents.  IF after 7 full days in underwear/naked, she's not made any progress she's really not ready and you should give her another month or 2.