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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Help! My 4 y.o. ds won't have anything to do with DH

Posted by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 10:33 PM
  • 19 Replies

Anyone else have or had this issue?  DH is furious because our son doesn't want anything to do with him most of the time. He is a mama's boy, but I have no idea what to do to change that. We homeschool, he's always been with me 24/7. DH's personality is somewhat loud and abrasive, so maybe that has something to do with it?  Any help or suggestions are so welcome.  We have a new babe due at Christmas, so something has got to change:(

by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 10:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
babowes
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 10:36 PM
Man momma this is tough. You are going to have dh be a bit more sweeter and really stop making a big deal about it so your little one does not see the negative reaction.
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babowes
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 10:37 PM
It is a phase! Have dh plan fun things to do special with 4 yr old.
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mommawhite08
by Member on Sep. 12, 2012 at 11:03 PM
Quoting babowes:

It is a phase! Have dh plan fun things to do special with 4 yr old.

my dd is going on 4 years of this..... she's almost4. It's a constant battle! What hash worked for us is giving daddy are responsibilty, it will be crazy at first. Ex: daddy does bath, reads book and then I put her to bed. I flat out told her what was going to happen and she wasn't happy at first but it got better after the third time just stick with a routine if you can
Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
mommawhite08
by Member on Sep. 12, 2012 at 11:04 PM
And pm me if you want. I know how stressful this fan be.
Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2012 at 11:52 PM
1 mom liked this

you need to make a point of promoting and encouraging their time together.  you either need to leave the house or send them out for a fun adventure.  what does you son like to do?   sports?  nature walks?  art?  whatever it is, your husband and he need to find a special thing that is just theirs.  it doesn't have to be a full day outing at first, they can start slow but your son needs to trust and accept nurturing from your husband.  your husband will be the most important role model in that little boy's life going forward and that relationship needs to be strong.  talk to your hubby about lightening up.  he's most likely abrasive because his expectations aren't being met which can be completely unrealistic when dealing with a small child.  explain that a walk around the block may take 2 hours while your son looks at bugs or throws rocks or whatever.   he just needs to roll with the punches right now while they establish a foundation.  good luck!

calvinsmommy18
by on Sep. 13, 2012 at 2:22 AM
Ds was like this. He's getting slightly better but he just prefers to have mommy over daddy. I don't yell as much or raise my voice all the time. He did get better once dd was born on letting daddy do stuff for him instead of mommy. But he did actually get worse behavior wise in some areas since dd has been here.
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fortressmom
by on Sep. 13, 2012 at 7:49 AM

Thank you ladies so much. You've all reiterated everything I tell DH. He's so caught up in the fact that he was never that way as a kid that the fails to see that his personality is totally different from DS's. I keep telling him to make it a point to do special things, but stubbornness kicks in:( I really appreciate the support from all of you!

brandyblx
by Member on Sep. 13, 2012 at 7:58 AM

 I am almost certain it is a phase. My 3 did something similar to their daddy and they weren't with me 24/7.You could might ask him if he knows that he is hurting daddy's feelings?I told my youngest this and it worked-he started climbing up in my hubby's lap without being told/asked. GL

Itzy0ll0tl
by on Sep. 13, 2012 at 9:20 AM

its normal.

DS feels he needs to compete over your love. in DS eyes, he will one day marry you, so  DH is "in the way". its a normal phsycology proccess

and he willovercome it, but your DH has to be patient, and also needs to develop a relationship not based in competeing for your attention.

I know this becasue DD had it too. only the other way aaround

she wanted NOTHING to do with me and I took a basic childrens phycholgy course to understand hre better.

PEEK05
by on Sep. 13, 2012 at 11:45 AM

No.  My kids both love their daddy a lot.  He is gone at work for all but 1.5 hours that they are awake, so when he is home, they want to spend a lot of time with him. :)

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