What to do when your toddler LIKES time out.
My DS has problems at daycare. He bites and hits pretty regularly. It's more pronounced now as they've been having high employee turnover. I'm looking at getting him in somewhere else, somewhere more stable. Until then, I am trying to figure out how to get him to behave. My DS is VERY introverted. He's not a fan of people at all. So, when he bites someone and they send him to time out he LOVES it. Has 0 impact on him. They obviously can't physically discipline him so any ideas???
Just because he enjoys it, doesn't mean it doesn't have impact. I used to think of time-outs as punishment, but then I read that it's not so much a punishment as it is just removing the child from the situation. I agree with moving to someplace more stable (all kids need stability), but until then (and even at the new place), I think I would have them stick with time-outs for a while. Consistency is important! :) Good luck.
They need to look for something that works. If he's an introvert maybe making him face the person he offended more directly, make him stand there and talk about why he did it, why it was wrong, how he could have acted differently. Also taking away privileges he does like, like a particular activity or snack time. Dig a little deeper.
He's 1 so he can't really talk.
Quoting IQuitCounting:
They need to look for something that works. If he's an introvert maybe making him face the person he offended more directly, make him stand there and talk about why he did it, why it was wrong, how he could have acted differently. Also taking away privileges he does like, like a particular activity or snack time. Dig a little deeper.
I was looking at getting him into the local Montessori. He's the type of kid that flourishes under strict schedules. But, I'm pregnant again and if I'm having twins (a distinct possibility) I'm not going to be working. I don't want to move him and deal with that trauma if I'm not going to be working here soon. I'll know if I'm having twins in a week so he just has to hold on until then the poor kid.
Quoting RobynS:
Just because he enjoys it, doesn't mean it doesn't have impact. I used to think of time-outs as punishment, but then I read that it's not so much a punishment as it is just removing the child from the situation. I agree with moving to someplace more stable (all kids need stability), but until then (and even at the new place), I think I would have them stick with time-outs for a while. Consistency is important! :) Good luck.
Hm, well then it's probably just going to be time. If he's only one, as long as they're working with him (because frankly they're never too young to start communicating with). His attention span is short too... so denying him things unless they are instant won't really work either...
Sorry, at that age, time and positive reinforcement is likely the best bet. They do still need to draw direct attention to what it is he is doing that is negative and letting him know it's not ok though. I use to flick the back of my sons hand, make eye contact and tell him no firmly when he'd hit, or mouth when he'd try to bite. Not hard, just a enough to make it obvious what part of the body was offending. He was never much of a hitter or bitter in general though.
Hope someone else has a better idea for you!
Quoting furbabymum:He's 1 so he can't really talk.
Quoting IQuitCounting:
They need to look for something that works. If he's an introvert maybe making him face the person he offended more directly, make him stand there and talk about why he did it, why it was wrong, how he could have acted differently. Also taking away privileges he does like, like a particular activity or snack time. Dig a little deeper.
He started biting at age 5 months. He's now 20 months. Oh how many months I was trying to stop him from biting me. It was horrible. Then one day I'd had enough and popped him in the mouth. Only had to do it 2 times after that and he stopped biting me all together. I wish daycare could do that as I think that immediate response is what he needs to realize it's a bad behavior. They can't physically punish the kids though so they're pretty much stuck with time out.
The biggest problem is that my son is very large for his age. He looks more like 2 going on 3 instead of 1. So he's causing a fair amount of damage to the littler kids. I know I'd be very very upset if my little baby was getting bit like that so I'm just lost as to what to do.
Quoting IQuitCounting:
Hm, well then it's probably just going to be time. If he's only one, as long as they're working with him (because frankly they're never too young to start communicating with). His attention span is short too... so denying him things unless they are instant won't really work either...
Sorry, at that age, time and positive reinforcement is likely the best bet. They do still need to draw direct attention to what it is he is doing that is negative and letting him know it's not ok though. I use to flick the back of my sons hand, make eye contact and tell him no firmly when he'd hit, or mouth when he'd try to bite. Not hard, just a enough to make it obvious what part of the body was offending. He was never much of a hitter or bitter in general though.
Hope someone else has a better idea for you!
Quoting furbabymum:
He's 1 so he can't really talk.
Quoting IQuitCounting:
They need to look for something that works. If he's an introvert maybe making him face the person he offended more directly, make him stand there and talk about why he did it, why it was wrong, how he could have acted differently. Also taking away privileges he does like, like a particular activity or snack time. Dig a little deeper.
Quoting furbabymum:I was looking at getting him into the local Montessori. He's the type of kid that flourishes under strict schedules. But, I'm pregnant again and if I'm having twins (a distinct possibility) I'm not going to be working. I don't want to move him and deal with that trauma if I'm not going to be working here soon. I'll know if I'm having twins in a week so he just has to hold on until then the poor kid.
Quoting RobynS:
Just because he enjoys it, doesn't mean it doesn't have impact. I used to think of time-outs as punishment, but then I read that it's not so much a punishment as it is just removing the child from the situation. I agree with moving to someplace more stable (all kids need stability), but until then (and even at the new place), I think I would have them stick with time-outs for a while. Consistency is important! :) Good luck.
Really? Why? I've talked to people who had their kids there and have gone to visit. They seem to be very structured. They do units and such.
Quoting DACIA79:
If your looking for a strict structured schedule . Montessori is not a good idea at all.
Quoting furbabymum:
I was looking at getting him into the local Montessori. He's the type of kid that flourishes under strict schedules. But, I'm pregnant again and if I'm having twins (a distinct possibility) I'm not going to be working. I don't want to move him and deal with that trauma if I'm not going to be working here soon. I'll know if I'm having twins in a week so he just has to hold on until then the poor kid.
Quoting RobynS:
Just because he enjoys it, doesn't mean it doesn't have impact. I used to think of time-outs as punishment, but then I read that it's not so much a punishment as it is just removing the child from the situation. I agree with moving to someplace more stable (all kids need stability), but until then (and even at the new place), I think I would have them stick with time-outs for a while. Consistency is important! :) Good luck.
Weekend Mornings
- furbabymum
on Sep. 24, 2012 at 12:06 PM