Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Sexual harrassment at dd's school - **UPDATE**

Posted by   + Show Post

This may get a little long, but I will try and keep this as short as possible - I just could really use some advice right now.

My 4 year old dd is in Pre-K.  She attends the After School program in the afternoons for 2 hours until I get off work and pick her up.  There is a little boy in her after school class, C, who we've had a few issues with since the first day of school.  The first day I picked my dd up and she was crying.  Apparently, C had pushed her, pulled her hair and kissed her on the mouth.  She tried to push him off of her, in which the teacher put them both in time out.  I immediately brought it up to the owner of the school and she admitted to me that they've had some behavior issues with this child in the past.  So bad, apparently, that his parents have had to come and pick him up several times.

A couple of weeks later, my dd tells me that he kissed her again.  I immediately called the school and they told me that they would be talking with his parents about it.

Yesterday I go to pick her up, and discover that she has a new after school teacher, Mrs. T.  She was also my dd's teacher last year when she was in daycare, so we know her very well and love her to pieces.  She loves my dd and tells me that my dd is very special to her.

I take the opportunity to inform her about the problems that we have had with C and to please keep an eye on my dd.  She then told me that last week, C's parents had to come and pick him up because on the playground, he had pinned another little girl down and was trying to pull her clothes off.  Needless to say, I'm beyond shocked and no longer want this child anywhere near my daughter.

Here's my problem.  I know this teacher wasn't supposed to tell me this information, however, because we have had several problems with him these past few weeks, I don't want to take any chances at him doing something like this to my child.  It's obvious that he has issues, and I'm really upset that the school is still allowing him back each day.  I want to tell the school that I want them separated and I don't want my dd in the same class as him, but I also don't want to get the teacher in trouble.  More importantly, I don't want to risk something happening to my dd, because if he tries to kiss her again, my husband and I have agreed that we would press charges against the parents for sexual harrassment.  This boy is extremely aggressive and it's really starting to worry me.

Changing schools is not an option at this point (obviously, worst case scenario we would, but that would be our last resort).  WWYD if you were in this situation?

**UPDATE**

I called the main office for the Head Start program, which oversees the state's Pre-K program and spoke with a very nice lady there.  I explained to her what's going on and even she was curious as to why the child is still able to attend school.  She said that she was going to find out who's jurisdiction the school is under and have them conduct an investigation to get to the bottom of what's going on.  I requested to remain anonymous and the lady told me that she would call me to update me once she knows what actions they will take (investigation, etc.). If they feel that something is going on at home with this child, they will involve DFCS at that time.

In the mean time, I will be talking with the owner today and tell her that I've spoken with other parents and heard that he was involved in yet another incident and that I am requesting he be removed from my daughter's after school class.  If they move him, great, if not.. well, I don't think telling them I've already reported them is going to do anything but make a big ass stink.

by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:56 AM
Replies (11-20):
hudson.maggie
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:33 AM
You would think they would make him move classes or call the police because he's probably getting abused at home? Does the school realize that they could lose alot of kids because of just this one or that they could maybe even get in trouble for letting it happen repeatedly

Quoting MyLittlePwny:

Me too.  I'm really upset that they're allowing him back and the teacher even stated the same concerns.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

Why hasn't the school called dfs? It sounds like he was or is being abused.



But like a previous person said I would call and just explain because of what your dd has gone through you'd like for her or him to switch to another class.



I'm still confused as to why they haven't really done much though?


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MyLittlePwny
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:38 AM

I'm not sure, but I found the number for the local DFCS office that would handle this... and I'm getting nervous about making the call.  I've never been involved with them and all the horror stories on this site has me a little freaked out.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

You would think they would make him move classes or call the police because he's probably getting abused at home? Does the school realize that they could lose alot of kids because of just this one or that they could maybe even get in trouble for letting it happen repeatedly

Quoting MyLittlePwny:

Me too.  I'm really upset that they're allowing him back and the teacher even stated the same concerns.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

Why hasn't the school called dfs? It sounds like he was or is being abused.



But like a previous person said I would call and just explain because of what your dd has gone through you'd like for her or him to switch to another class.



I'm still confused as to why they haven't really done much though?




kaiser10123
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:39 AM
You could talk to the school without mentioning the information from the teacher whom you are close with. And I agree with PPs let them know what that child has done with your child and demand that she be switched to another class. Have you personally spoken to the little boys parents about what's going on? I hope everything turns out ok. Good Luck
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hudson.maggie
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:41 AM
Yea is be nervous too, but could u imagine what that little boy has to deal with at home for him to act that way. I hope they help him. How old is your dd again?

Quoting MyLittlePwny:

I'm not sure, but I found the number for the local DFCS office that would handle this... and I'm getting nervous about making the call.  I've never been involved with them and all the horror stories on this site has me a little freaked out.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

You would think they would make him move classes or call the police because he's probably getting abused at home? Does the school realize that they could lose alot of kids because of just this one or that they could maybe even get in trouble for letting it happen repeatedly



Quoting MyLittlePwny:

Me too.  I'm really upset that they're allowing him back and the teacher even stated the same concerns.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

Why hasn't the school called dfs? It sounds like he was or is being abused.





But like a previous person said I would call and just explain because of what your dd has gone through you'd like for her or him to switch to another class.





I'm still confused as to why they haven't really done much though?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MyLittlePwny
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:42 AM

I haven't spoken to his parents simply because I've never seen them at the school and I don't think the administrators will give me their contact information.  Believe me, if I had the chance to run into his mom or dad, I would definitely be talking to them.

Quoting kaiser10123:

You could talk to the school without mentioning the information from the teacher whom you are close with. And I agree with PPs let them know what that child has done with your child and demand that she be switched to another class. Have you personally spoken to the little boys parents about what's going on? I hope everything turns out ok. Good Luck



sophiesmom07
by Ruby Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:42 AM

I would talk to the school's owner and let her know that you have heard complaints from other mothers that have also had issues with C and their children. (This way it all stays anonymous and you won't get the teachers in trouble.) Inquire about the removal procedure and if your child can be placed in another class.  Good luck.

MyLittlePwny
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:43 AM

She's 4.5

Quoting hudson.maggie:

Yea is be nervous too, but could u imagine what that little boy has to deal with at home for him to act that way. I hope they help him. How old is your dd again?

Quoting MyLittlePwny:

I'm not sure, but I found the number for the local DFCS office that would handle this... and I'm getting nervous about making the call.  I've never been involved with them and all the horror stories on this site has me a little freaked out.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

You would think they would make him move classes or call the police because he's probably getting abused at home? Does the school realize that they could lose alot of kids because of just this one or that they could maybe even get in trouble for letting it happen repeatedly



Quoting MyLittlePwny:

Me too.  I'm really upset that they're allowing him back and the teacher even stated the same concerns.

Quoting hudson.maggie:

Why hasn't the school called dfs? It sounds like he was or is being abused.





But like a previous person said I would call and just explain because of what your dd has gone through you'd like for her or him to switch to another class.





I'm still confused as to why they haven't really done much though?





ilovemykids732
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:45 AM

I would say that you heard from other parents that C has been doing these things to other girls... not the teacher... :)

kaiser10123
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:53 AM
Oh ok :( well I have two little boys and if they did that oh believe their asses would be grass. I'm sorry your little one is going threw this. Stuff like that can have some damaging effects on young girls.

Quoting MyLittlePwny:

I haven't spoken to his parents simply because I've never seen them at the school and I don't think the administrators will give me their contact information.  Believe me, if I had the chance to run into his mom or dad, I would definitely be talking to them.

Quoting kaiser10123:

You could talk to the school without mentioning the information from the teacher whom you are close with. And I agree with PPs let them know what that child has done with your child and demand that she be switched to another class. Have you personally spoken to the little boys parents about what's going on? I hope everything turns out ok. Good Luck


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MyLittlePwny
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I think that's what I'm going to do.  Thank you all for your advice, and I think what I'm doing to do is a little bit of everything you all have suggested.


What I've come up with is going to the owner first.  Let her know that I've spoken with some other parents and there is word going around that he has tried to take off another girl's clothes.  Ask her what their removal policy is for behavior issues such as these, and request that they put this little boy in a different class.  Also mention the idea that something could be going on at home for him to be acting this way, and put the ball in their court to see if they'll report it.  If they don't move him, then I will contact DCFS and make a report myself.

Quoting ilovemykids732:

I would say that you heard from other parents that C has been doing these things to other girls... not the teacher... :)



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)