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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

HELP! Not sure what to do!

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:52 AM
  • 10 Replies
Ok, for starters, my DD is 14 months old.

She scratches, pinches, pulls, smacks .. it could be when she's upset or just because she feels like it. It always our faces. She shoves her finger up my brothers nose, grabs a fist full of my dads beard, pulls on my moms lips, smacks the crap out of me .. and it all hurts bad!

When she does it, we give our sign for no and put her down. Of course she cries but I just let her because I feel like that's the only way she will understand that what she is doing isn't ok.

Well yesterday she was smacking me lightly, trying to get to my lip. I let her do it but closed my mouth with my lips "hidden" so she couldn't grab at them and she seemed to lose interest.

Now come the questions.

Is this normal? Is this a phase? Which is better: telling her no or ignoring it? She has never been hit and isn't around other children who hit. This is just starting to become irritating. Last week I had two big scratches on my face from her. I want my sweet baby back, not this little bully!
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
C.S.K.L
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:17 AM

I don't think ignoring it is going to better the situation, i wouldnt spank her, maybe try slapping her hand. nothing to hard but just enough so she realizes, then point at what she pulled,slapped,grabbed or pinched and say no

brittanyx22
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:23 AM
I'm not going to correct hitting with hitting. I'll just keep telling her no. Thanks!

Quoting C.S.K.L:

I don't think ignoring it is going to better the situation, i wouldnt spank her, maybe try slapping her hand. nothing to hard but just enough so she realizes, then point at what she pulled,slapped,grabbed or pinched and say no


beco8627
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:24 AM
I would start time outs. She will probably not stay there, so you sit in the time out spot, have her sit down on your lap, facing out and bear hug her with her arms tucked in for 1 min. Afterwards you tell her what she did and say its a no no. Yes, 14 months may sound too young for time outs and "explaining," but if you start really early, they learn quicker. We did this with my now 4.5 yr old, and we nipped it in the bud before he even turned 2.
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brittanyx22
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:30 AM
It's definitely worth a try! Thanks!

Quoting beco8627:

I would start time outs. She will probably not stay there, so you sit in the time out spot, have her sit down on your lap, facing out and bear hug her with her arms tucked in for 1 min. Afterwards you tell her what she did and say its a no no. Yes, 14 months may sound too young for time outs and "explaining," but if you start really early, they learn quicker. We did this with my now 4.5 yr old, and we nipped it in the bud before he even turned 2.

brittanyx22
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:46 AM

BUMP!

mariesmama
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:50 AM

i grab my daughters wrist and tell her no we dont hit well it worked now she bites

dearg76
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:05 PM

Sounds totally normal - when my DD was that age (she is now 2) she did all of that too.

Bieg9093
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:52 PM
2 moms liked this

 It sounds like you're doing the right thing.  I'll just add...if you don't want her to do these things, you can't let her do it a little bit and then put her down when she finally hurts you.  Even if she's smacking lightly...tell her no after the first smack and put her down if she does it again.  Kids at that age aren't sophisticated enough for gray area...they need very clear messages.

Also, when you put her down, I'd be sure to turn my back and walk away too.  Again, you're communicating with her and you want to send the clearest possible message.  When you pick her up again, show her how you want her to use "gentle touching" and smile if she imitates your behavior.

xoxRachelxox
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:14 PM

A lot of kids go through the hitting/biting/slapping phase. I wouldn't ignore it, I would tell her no and tell her there's no hitting/biting/slapping allowed. Use time outs if you need to. She'll learn it's not okay and stop.

It sounds like you're doing the right thing.

mommieof3_752
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 8:33 PM

I had this problem with my son. I thought it was just a phase but he is now 2.5 and is still doing it. But now it is only when hes mad. I thought it would pass to so I ignored it. It didnt work. Do what you can to correct the behavior now because it isnt a phase. It will become a habit.GL

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