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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Am I being overprotective?

Posted by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:42 PM
  • 19 Replies

I have a friend who wants to take my 4 yr old ds all the time so that he can play with her 4 yr old ds. The boys are great friends but I am just not comfortable with him just going off with her. 

We used to have playdates every Tuesday but my ds started pre-K and hers is still going to a Mother's Day Out program twice a week.... so her son gets bored not having something to do every day. 

We don't exactly have the same ideas on parenting. She pretty much DOESN'T parent and just lets him do whatever he wants. Like play waaaay down the street all alone :/ I guess I just don't really trust her to keep my son. He's only 4! I didn't think I'd have to worry about him going off to a friend's house for at least a few more years. 

The problem is that she's my Dh's boss's wife and I don't want to offend her by saying I'm not comfortable with him going. What do I say?? She's texting me right now. 

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by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsApple
by Bronze Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:45 PM
2 moms liked this

If you're not comfortable with leaving your child with a certain person,don't do it just to avoid offending them.Follow your instincts.Just tell her that you feel he's still too young to go off without you.

MedicMommy2
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Just tell her your not comfy leaving him somewhere without you. Yes you will look over protective and slightly nutty but most will respect that. My kids are 2.5 and 6 and the older one has been spending the night with friends since he was 2ish for fun with his friends and earlier than that for need. Most of my friends parent similar enough to me but all the kids know the rules at each house and follow those. None of us do any of the well at my house I can't do that crap or at my house I can do that.

zolanmel
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 2:46 PM
Say he has to much homework or offer to take him and just stay for coffee?
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itsm3
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:50 AM

totally this.  it's YOUR child; you are the mother.  tell her you're not comfortable.

Quoting MrsApple:

If you're not comfortable with leaving your child with a certain person,don't do it just to avoid offending them.Follow your instincts.Just tell her that you feel he's still too young to go off without you.


mjande4
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 8:50 AM

WHAT!?  He's FOUR!  That just sounds ridiculous.  I would just let her know that you have other plans and leave it at that.

Quoting zolanmel:

Say he has to much homework or offer to take him and just stay for coffee?


zolanmel
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:16 AM
My dd had a lot of homework in prek at four its not uncommon.

Quoting mjande4:

WHAT!?  He's FOUR!  That just sounds ridiculous.  I would just let her know that you have other plans and leave it at that.


Quoting zolanmel:

Say he has to much homework or offer to take him and just stay for coffee?


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mjande4
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:18 AM

He may have, but it STILL sounds ridiculous!

Quoting zolanmel:

My dd had a lot of homework in prek at four its not uncommon.

Quoting mjande4:

WHAT!?  He's FOUR!  That just sounds ridiculous.  I would just let her know that you have other plans and leave it at that.


Quoting zolanmel:

Say he has to much homework or offer to take him and just stay for coffee?



zolanmel
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:20 AM
Eh teach each their own.

Quoting mjande4:

He may have, but it STILL sounds ridiculous!


Quoting zolanmel:

My dd had a lot of homework in prek at four its not uncommon.



Quoting mjande4:

WHAT!?  He's FOUR!  That just sounds ridiculous.  I would just let her know that you have other plans and leave it at that.



Quoting zolanmel:

Say he has to much homework or offer to take him and just stay for coffee?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
GoddessBaker
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:42 AM

YOU are his mom. Whether she is your hubby's bosses wife or not, if you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. NOBODY outside of family takes my son. My mom and my husbands sister. That's it. I don't even trust my MIL. I don't feel that I am over protective, I feel like I don't want anything to happen to my precious child, and therefore I am not willing to leave him with someone I don't feel I can trust to keep an eye on him or keep him safe. He has playdates and such, but NO ONE takes him unless I can trust them, and those are few and far between. If you don't want him to go with her, you need to tell her. You'll feel even more horrible if something happens to him while he's with her, and YOU let it happen just because you didn't want to offend her.

Snapdragon88
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:13 AM

I never said I was going to let him go... I never once intended on letting him go. I am asking for advice on what to say to her. I have no problem saying no when it comes to my son, I just don't want to offend someone that I see on a regular basis... especially since she lets her son play at my house without her being there. I would never in a million years LET something bad happen to my child. 

Quoting GoddessBaker:

YOU are his mom. Whether she is your hubby's bosses wife or not, if you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. NOBODY outside of family takes my son. My mom and my husbands sister. That's it. I don't even trust my MIL. I don't feel that I am over protective, I feel like I don't want anything to happen to my precious child, and therefore I am not willing to leave him with someone I don't feel I can trust to keep an eye on him or keep him safe. He has playdates and such, but NO ONE takes him unless I can trust them, and those are few and far between. If you don't want him to go with her, you need to tell her. You'll feel even more horrible if something happens to him while he's with her, and YOU let it happen just because you didn't want to offend her.


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