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discipline cleaning!

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My 3yo has been in his room for 24+hrs avoiding cleaning up a mess he made yesterday afternoon. I don't know what to do!! He got in trouble for bugging a brother and was sent to his room (I needed to put laundry away upstairs so his room was the best option for keeping an eye on him). while in his room he threw a box of K'Nex and they are all over his room. It was a smaller box, so it's not a ton of stuff. I told him pick it up and you can come out. He refused all night. I was on him all night and redirected him back to the task at hand. I worked around his room hoping it would motivate him to get it done. I was not going to do it for him. He fell asleep without picking them up. This morning he got up about 7:30, ate breakfast, sat with me on the couch for a minute then was sent upstairs to clean up the mess. This has literally lasted all day. He's been redirected every single time he has come downstairs. I don't know what to do at this point. Do I stay the course or change battle tactics?? He's three. He picks up toys everyday...why is *this* such a battle?! 

by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Replies (21-21):
by Platinum Member on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Sorry, I didn't mean physically force him to do it.  I meant take away something that is super important to him or entice him with an outting that he'll miss if he doesn't clean up.

Quoting teri4lance:

I have done physical guidance with my ds at that age too...but i received training on how to do that when interning at a university program for at risk prek'ers.
You basically stand behind him, lean over and take hold if his hands with your arms draped over his and pretty much work him like a puppet. You have to be careful to restrict your force and do it when you are calm. That way he is still doing it. I mean when it comes down to it, you are bigger than him and you can make him do it.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

That's exactly why you cant back down. You can modify by trying to force the issue but he has to pick them up in the end. I had a 45 min standoff with my dd when she was 16 months. She refused to say please for a glass of milk even though she totally could. She would say any other word I asked but when I said "say please." She would look me straight in the eye and NOT say it. So I went about my business until she was ready. 45 mins later she caved and it never happened again.

Quoting tennisgal:

that's how i feel, but now i'm getting incredibly annoyed!! he's so incredibly stubborn, but picking up his toys/room isn't some new concept to him either. 

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

I would stay the course. Of course its getting extreme but hes digging his heels in hard. If he doesn't clean them up shortly start taking away his important toys until he complies. I understand the earlier post about his age and moving on but he knows exactly what hes doing. Once you pick a battle with your child you must win or you lose credibility. You may choose another tactic next time but you have to finish this.


Beth (33) DH (38) Tyler (almost 6) Bayley (3)

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