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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

Help with a natural consequence

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:12 AM
  • 7 Replies
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Dh and I are trying to change up our disciplining.  Up till now we mostly do warnings, spankings, time outs and only a couple of natural consequences.  Now we want to do more natural consequences.  As the kids are getting older, we need some different tecniques.

I'm trying to find a natural consequence for not listening/disobeying when we tell ds to do something or to stop doing something.  That is our main problem with ds.  He follows rules and treats his sister well.  He is a good helper also, but he doesn't want to follow dirrection.  It takes a time out or spanking to get him to listen just about every time, so obviously our discipline isn't helping to correct the behavior (which is always my goal, not to punish but to cause them to do better next time).  What are some natural consequences I could use to help him to listen and obey?

by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:12 AM
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Replies (1-7):
akm378mn
by New Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 10:46 AM

I don't have any answers for you, but I would love to see what others have to say. 

Luvmy2babies22
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:00 AM

it depends on the scenario.  you said he follows rules and is a good helper so what exactly is he NOT doing?

Gweneveer
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:29 AM
What is a natural consequence?
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bekalynne440
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:38 AM

Haha, I guess that's a good point.  You know, I think we just need more clear cut rules.  And rather than focusing on him not listening, maybe I should focus on the rule that's at hand.  I felt like we were pretty clear with rules before.  However now when I think about it, I feel like he follows rules but is still misbehaving so obviously there are some rules we aren't so clear on.

I think I've fallen into my parents' way of parenting.  While I've tweaked it some for our family, I think I need to change it up all together.

Oh the joys of parenting, lol.  Just when you think you've got it mostly figured out the board is flipped and you have to learn new ways to handle things.

Quoting Luvmy2babies22:

it depends on the scenario.  you said he follows rules and is a good helper so what exactly is he NOT doing?


bekalynne440
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:43 AM
1 mom liked this

A natural consequence is a consequence dirrectly related to the offense.

Like: If you can't put your toys away, you lose them for a day/week.

If you are being desructive, you must have nothing better to do and need a chore.

If you are tipping your chair, it is unsafe for you to use a chair and you must stand for the remainer of supper.

If you splash water out of the tub, you clean it up.

Quoting Gweneveer:

What is a natural consequence?


la_bella_vita
by Bella on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:14 PM

 We are big on natural consequences. I try to make the consequence as close as possible. For not listening it would depend on what they are not listening to.

bekalynne440
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:33 PM

Yeah, I think that's what we need to do.  Before I was just focusing on the disobedience aspect, but I think natural consequences will give me more creative punishments and put more focus on what they should actually be doing.  I guess its more of teaching them to know the right thing to do rather than teaching them to obey what's being said.  Both are important, but the focus is different.

Quoting la_bella_vita:

 We are big on natural consequences. I try to make the consequence as close as possible. For not listening it would depend on what they are not listening to.


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