advice about potty training :/

I'm sure I will get shamed for this... but honestly... for quite a long time the only way I could get my son to not pee his pants was by telling him that he would get a time out or even a spanking for peeing himself... He's almost 4 and I still have to tell him to go to the bathroom all the time it seems... He tells me that he doesn't want to go .. and I tell him it's not about wanting to go... it's about what we all have to do... does she hide when she pees herself??? If so.. imo she knows very well what she is doing and is being obstinate.. GL... kids can be rough!! :)

Definitely do not punish or threaten. Shes still young and not quite ready. If you haven't already, keep her in underwear for 7-10 days straight (except for sleeping). Just prepare to clean up a lot of accidents. If after that time shes not made any progress, stop for a while. Take her (don't ask) every 30 mins and go NUTS if even one drop makes it in. Don't force her. If she resists, you have to let her be. She knows she has the control here so don't get in a power struggle that you cant win. Remember that using the potty is inevitable. 3 or 3 1/2 makes no difference in the long run, she won't graduate in a diaper so don't let this be a big deal. Its just pee and poop...