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Toddlers & Preschoolers Toddlers & Preschoolers

My son thinks its so funny to swat and hit!!!

Posted by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:17 PM
  • 7 Replies
I have a 16 month old son. He knows it bothers me if he throws his food off the high chair when he is full so he raises his hand up, looks right at me and throws if then laughs. I was tapping his hand that he threw it with saying no but then he swats me back! and laughs again. I try to keep a straight face and say NO firmly but he still laughs and now right after the swatting and laughing he will do kissy lips and make the "mmmmm" sound asking for a kiss, sometimes he even says "muah". Its so cute and I love how he thinks his cuteness can get him out of trouble, but i dont want that thought to stick with him as he gets older. Sometimes hell swat when hes mad but if its a tantrum, which he doesnt have often, hell just throw himself to the floor and kick and cry and yell. I think he is doing the swatting more to test our limits, and my boyfriend laughs at it and swats him back so theyre both playing the one year old game! I tell him not to but he says he is just playing with him and hes not hitting cuz he is mad so its ok. any suggestions on how to make him understand that the swatting has to stop!?? And ill say no be nice, and now hes been tilting his head and putting his hand on his cheek and says "niiii" really cute. Its hard to act mad at him like that! thanks for reading! :)
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:17 PM
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Replies (1-7):
corrinacs
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:41 PM

My best suggestion with the swatting/hitting and then laughing.  Walk away.  If you know he's safe, literally turn your body around, dont' say anything at all......he's attempting to gain control, and he knows that if he acts that way he's going to get out of trouble, and you are right...nip that in the bud now.  Arguing with him is pointless, especially at this age because they may not understand what you are saying.

So, the only thing they understand is rejection.  If you ignore it, it will go away :).

MichaelsMom0711
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:50 PM
Quoting corrinacs:

My best suggestion with the swatting/hitting and then laughing.  Walk away.  If you know he's safe, literally turn your body around, dont' say anything at all......he's attempting to gain control, and he knows that if he acts that way he's going to get out of trouble, and you are right...nip that in the bud now.  Arguing with him is pointless, especially at this age because they may not understand what you are saying.

So, the only thing they understand is rejection.  If you ignore it, it will go away :).



thats very true and I never thought of that. its too dam cute not to laugh, especially with the faces he makes and things he says so if i walk away he wont see me laugh and hell think that will make me leave, which once im home from work i cant even go to the bathroom without the hard cry, so good idea, thanks!
corrinacs
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:52 PM

HAHA, you definietly cannot laugh in front of him......I didn't say you couldn't laugh.  Duck around the corner and give yourself a few chuckles then come back......I know you don't want him to stop it because its cute now, but it won't be cute when he's 5 LOL

Quoting MichaelsMom0711:

Quoting corrinacs:

My best suggestion with the swatting/hitting and then laughing.  Walk away.  If you know he's safe, literally turn your body around, dont' say anything at all......he's attempting to gain control, and he knows that if he acts that way he's going to get out of trouble, and you are right...nip that in the bud now.  Arguing with him is pointless, especially at this age because they may not understand what you are saying.

So, the only thing they understand is rejection.  If you ignore it, it will go away :).



thats very true and I never thought of that. its too dam cute not to laugh, especially with the faces he makes and things he says so if i walk away he wont see me laugh and hell think that will make me leave, which once im home from work i cant even go to the bathroom without the hard cry, so good idea, thanks!



furbabymum
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:56 PM

Your BF has to stop the encouraging and you need to tell him that very clearly. It's not beneficial to your DS and it's not a form of "play" imo.

I believe in time outs. We have a time out bean bag that we've been using since our DS could crawl. That's where your DS should go during tantrum time. Eventually our DS put himself on the bean bag to throw his tantrum without prompting.

As for the food throwing, I just take it away. When he throws it he loses it. They grow out of that though. Now my DS is 22 months and he'll take his dish to the trash, empty it and then put it in the sink.

Anyway, I'm not really mad at my DS most of the time. He may do something that doesn't make me mad but is an undesirable behavior. I simply tell him it's undesirable and why. Like his throwing dog food around doesn't make me mad. The dogs clean it up. I just don't really want him doing it so I discourage it. With this I'm just saying you don't have to be mad at your DS to correct his behavior.

Angel_Red7
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:58 PM

I agree with the above about ignoring him/walking away. That worked for my daughter for awhile. At 20 months I then started making her help me pick it up or she couldn't leave the kitchen. She stopped quickly after that.

As far as the hitting, my daughter did and still does it occasionally. I will act sad when she hits me and tell her that's not nice. I will pout and say ouch or boo boo. We can relate more if I show such emotions than telling her no. 

Sometimes its hard not to laugh. Even when they are rotten they can be the cutest things. It takes practice! 

MichaelsMom0711
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:35 PM
Quoting furbabymum:

Your BF has to stop the encouraging and you need to tell him that very clearly. It's not beneficial to your DS and it's not a form of "play" imo.


I believe in time outs. We have a time out bean bag that we've been using since our DS could crawl. That's where your DS should go during tantrum time. Eventually our DS put himself on the bean bag to throw his tantrum without prompting.


As for the food throwing, I just take it away. When he throws it he loses it. They grow out of that though. Now my DS is 22 months and he'll take his dish to the trash, empty it and then put it in the sink.


Anyway, I'm not really mad at my DS most of the time. He may do something that doesn't make me mad but is an undesirable behavior. I simply tell him it's undesirable and why. Like his throwing dog food around doesn't make me mad. The dogs clean it up. I just don't really want him doing it so I discourage it. With this I'm just saying you don't have to be mad at your DS to correct his behavior.



yea thats what i tell him cuz he is encouraging it, he thinks its so cute and funny and loves how mischeivious he is already and thinks since hes not doing it out of anger its not a problem. He is harder to get thru to than the one year old sometimes! I was thinking of trying time outs but wasnt sure if he would understand yet, but i guess thats the point, he will understand when he sees the pattern of everytime i do something wrong i end up getting stuck here!
furbabymum
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:54 PM

 Yeah. I call it time out but as of yet it's not really been timed. I just put him there and he throws his fit and when he's done he rejoins us. Seems to be working pretty darn well. I guess I should call it "regrouping time" or something.

As for the SO being a pain I understand. Mine used to think it was cute too. He'd make exaggerated noises and act like he'd been punched and fly backward which our DS found hilarious and really encouraged him to continue hitting. I didn't find it amusing at all and finally just let me inner shrew loose on him. Don't have that problem any more. :P

Quoting MichaelsMom0711:

Quoting furbabymum:

Your BF has to stop the encouraging and you need to tell him that very clearly. It's not beneficial to your DS and it's not a form of "play" imo.


I believe in time outs. We have a time out bean bag that we've been using since our DS could crawl. That's where your DS should go during tantrum time. Eventually our DS put himself on the bean bag to throw his tantrum without prompting.


As for the food throwing, I just take it away. When he throws it he loses it. They grow out of that though. Now my DS is 22 months and he'll take his dish to the trash, empty it and then put it in the sink.


Anyway, I'm not really mad at my DS most of the time. He may do something that doesn't make me mad but is an undesirable behavior. I simply tell him it's undesirable and why. Like his throwing dog food around doesn't make me mad. The dogs clean it up. I just don't really want him doing it so I discourage it. With this I'm just saying you don't have to be mad at your DS to correct his behavior.



yea thats what i tell him cuz he is encouraging it, he thinks its so cute and funny and loves how mischeivious he is already and thinks since hes not doing it out of anger its not a problem. He is harder to get thru to than the one year old sometimes! I was thinking of trying time outs but wasnt sure if he would understand yet, but i guess thats the point, he will understand when he sees the pattern of everytime i do something wrong i end up getting stuck here!

 

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